Spread the love

The second of the series of poems that is going to come. Not a usualhypothetical scenario I am creating here. All events told in this poemhappened. I am not proud of it at all still I think a reality I shouldhave learned years back is in picture here. Some people may judge me asa very bad person. So be it. I think I told a while back that my lifeis an open book, this is a part I did not opened up at that time. Notall poems in these series are going to be in this way. So don’t worryabout the subject and language. In all I am going to take the next oneyear and write about “Yesterdays” that means I will put down my penafter 365 of these poems. Will I miss some days in between? Hell yeah,but I will try my best to write everyday. Okay… Once more these poemswill contain my thoughts, real life events or real life events I’veheard about and thoughts about those events. Some part or all of somepoems will not be suitable for people of all ages so reader’sdiscretion is advised at this point.
   The Milwaukee trip was planned two months back and I knewwhat I will be walking into in Milwaukee. One last attempt to walkthrough the clean road was blocked. I know there are no shortcuts inlife so for the time being. I have to go through the wilderness oncemore. Will I ever get back? I don’t know. I am getting too old to goback to square one and start over, unless someone drags me back tosquare one. Haha… the dreamer is not yet dead in me.
   Is there anyone to blame on this? Mmm… I doubt it… Badluck, tricky fate I don’t know what anyone calls it anymore. Well… atthis point I can blame many for my disasters, I will not. My life maynot be meant that way that’s all I can say.


The day with hunger started,
And mind searching through depressing thoughts,
What made me sleep without any dreams? I don’t know,
But empty not are my thoughts as I felt guilt.

A lifestyle long time back I left,
When in a topless club evenings I spent,
Where one loses identity in nakedness,
And for attention a trick I played,
When to the dancers I asked,
To perform lap-dances with their clothes on,
Many with weird respect came close,
Oh’ my eyes were blinded by exotic naked beauty,
And through my hands passed the softness of skin,
And the fulfillment of my fantasies they all became.

Slow was the drowning of my morality,
Intentional, pathetic and deserves no forgiveness,
Oh’ God knows the only way for me to stop,
And everything that meant to me away he took,
Jobless without money, left town into a plight,
And the lifestyle I left, without much thought,
Years through seasons passed,
The immoral mind in the purity faded away,
Purity of romance felt with all honesty,
Oh’ only my mind with thoughts about love, filled,
As every mind from the fulfillment of my love, eluded,
The first one, a lesson about life she taught,
Looks alone can’t make a human and behind looks can hide,
Evil with beauty unseen, clouding every sense.

Then when with respect versifying a character fictitious,
Tess of the D’urbervilles was the darling of my dreams,
Mistakes I made when with emotions I played,
When through the face of a darling girl in real,
To construct Tess, through my verse I tried,
But those inappropriate thoughts and feelings I erased,
As I wrote away all that I felt.

In a new place a new girl I met,
I felt a feeling in every way real,
As she in all appropriateness was real,
But she too excused away back to her past,
Leaving me in darkness and silence waiting.

Oh’ in all those days I prayed and prayed,
For one heart to love me as who I am,
None even looked at me with care,
Many ran away with some fear unknown.

Dejected, rejected and at the verge of depression,
Back to my town with passions I went,
Holly and Christine, Oh’ it is hard for me to forget,
Even days after, their naked bodies upon me I can feel,
The smell of their skin in my nose still remain,
And the taste of their lips and nipples rolling on my tongue,
Beyond money and passion they both emerged,
As in them too I found two humans wonderful,
And with them I realized a bare-naked truth,
That in my fate true love never was written.

The day as usual with these thoughts passed,
As the realization in my mind relieved,
Every thoughts and a smile upon my face blossomed,
Still I felt guilt deep inside for the murder,
Of all the pure thoughts of love in me,
Those colorful lights all turned off,
Those jukeboxes of romances burned away,
A silence inside me with heaviness lingered,
And with the feeling of a tear on my left eye,
I let myself to the hard grip of sleep.

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