Blizzard Inside And Outside.

One of the things people should know is what they can eat or not eat. If one is eating something one don’t know anything about be stale and don’t move because if one does one can end up in some serious trouble.

   I am hyper lactose intolerant most people who know me well know that. I get free lunch where I work so the chef also knows that I can’t eat or drink anything that got diary in it. So today morning I went to the kitchen and got my Oolong tea made. Then as usual I picked up couple of cookies and left. The cookies tasted good but it tasted different than the usual ones. I had tea then I went for lunch at about noon time. Lunch was chicken roast, beans and some very small round, round things. I asked the chef.

“What is this?” She said. “Chow mow” or that’s how it sounded like. The guy stood by me said it is good with chicken. So no second thoughts I took the lunch and came and ate. Great stuff I ate them all

  By the time I finished the lunch I got a call that someone needs one of my personal documentation so I needed to go to my hotel room. I went out and said “Oh boy”

It is snowing like hell outside. But I have a four wheel drive truck so no worries I started my slow and steady trip. About half way through things started going bad in my stomach. A real blizzard was brewing right in there. I cannot drive faster either as there was like 2 inches of snow on the road. But somehow I reached the hotel and know I forgot to take the room key from my bag.

  I went to the front desk and told. “Buddy I need a key to my room and you need to give me fast” by my look he understood what is wrong. I got into the room and jumped into the toilet. Ooooh. Sitting there I contacted chef and asked “What was that chow mow or whatever?” She told. “Oh I forgot to tell ya, it was prepared in butter and buttermilk” I told “Yeah I know, it is going faster than Niagara” it was good for a nice laugh during the drive back and during the rest of the time at work.

 I told the chef  “I will never eat anything I don’t know about”

Now when laughing sitting in the office I can see what is the second best thing I love in Wisconsin, falling all over the place, spreading the color of peace. The first one spreads a smile every moment of my life with her awesomeness.

My BlogTV shows.

Hi everyone,
   Thank you very much for your patience. I’ve been going through some rough edged times as I am trying to come to a grinding halt from a plight that started off back in India in the middle time of year 1993. Many of you were toddlers as I started taking life face to face and the experience were amazing. I have seen, learned, handled and mishandled at least 3 lifetimes of sadness, anger, horror, pleasure, leisure and the thrill of adventure and I am feeling the weight on my shoulders these days. If someone ask me materially what I have. I will say ‘zyphyr’ that’s one of my words I use to indicate nothing. Honestly I did not lose in life. I may not be a success in many eyes. This is the end of one phase. The beginning of the next is at the door step of a house. Yes a house I am buying in a place where “Lonely” Poet was born. I thought about this for months I needed something to bind me to one place and this is my way of doing it. I will be here and I will be writing. I need to evolve into someone better than who I really am. When I am looking back, I know who I failed as, a lover. It was an obvious failure as I was always on the move. Do I regret anything I have done? No, I don’t as all that happened, happened not only by my own choice, there were others who made choices too. All that happened, happened because that’s the way it should have happened. I got hurt many times, I bled from inside, I shed tears in silence, I even wished I was some other creature, not a human. It was all meant to happen and the reason is. This is life. It comes in packages through a string of events we always won’t be able to connect immediately. Time is not a healer, Time is a facilitator, Time shows us what where the connection through another set of events. Time has no control over our lives for Time is yet another creation like, you me and everyone else.
  As for my BlogTV shows, I wish to restart it in the place I am buying. The closing of the house is not done yet. I needed to go through hell with banker after banker because of my unique job situation. One employer employs me and a set of other companies pays me. Enough to confuse underwriters, who were otherwise would have been undertakers. I fought hard for it to prove that I deserve it. There were people who drove me nuts by the end of last year, who did not do what they are supposed to do. Then there were others, total strangers who had never seen me came and helped and still helping me to get through this. That’s another way of life. Pray for me, bless me, wish good luck for me. As I do that for you all who touched me in one way or the other all the time. If everything goes right you all will be able to see my blogtv shows here on Valentine’s Day.

The Signature Of A True Human Is The Smile He/She Brings On The Face Of Others.

This is a video I recorded during a drive to Waukegan, IL. The sound went off as QIK software when the network towers changed. I know it would happen but watch the first 9 min… You will enjoy.

In The Way It Is

Day or night I don’t care, Cold or hot the air is I don’t know, As the depths of mind once more prepare, To take disappointment and live with it in the way it is. 

This is a song I grew up listening to. Not played by radio or tape. My mother sang it all the time. The translation of the original lyrics is bizarre and people who know the language Malayalam will hunt me, find me and kick my ass for the changes I made.  But those who know the situation I am in including the soul of P. Bhaskaran  will smile and wish me good luck in getting over some tough times. Listen to the original audio too.

Music: M.S.Baburaj.
Orginal Malayalam Lyrics: P.Bhaskaran.
Singer: S.Janaki.
Raga Used: Pahadi
Written for the Malayalam movie ‘Tharavaattamma’ in 1966.

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Upon the wings of a lovely little dream,
I wish I were near you dear.

To see your lovely face,
To hear your loving words,
Together to share the sorrows of yours.

In apologies to embrace those silk soft foot,
To caress that heart in pain hurts,
With the cooling fingers dipped in love of mine.

Upon the wings of a lovely little dream,
I wish I were near you dear.

If I don’t call upon ever day,
Don’t eat, don’t sleep,
My darling in life, my darling beyond life.

When will in real I see,
The lord of the love in me sleep.

Upon the wings of a lovely little dream,
I wish I were near you dear.

To see your lovely face,
To hear your loving words,
Together to share the sorrows of yours.

Here I am adding one musical piece. The audio is my blogtv recital of the poem Invisible Dreams my Scottish friend Darran who is a hard rock musician added the music to the audio from the video.


Trusting me is not so easy. I know once someone I called darling trusted me and I screwed up big time. I don’t trust myself after that. But my darling, trust me, you are the best singer I’ve listened to in recent times. Experiments are not needed for that perfection, for the poet in you shows her might through voice and musical notes and it gives me peace of mind. I would do anything to keep you in peace.


Yesterday evening I waited for someone to say ‘Hello’. I don’t know why. But I know why I waited before saying ‘Hello’. I think I said in the last poem. No matter what I do to change, its just another naughty riddle in someone’s eyes. So I cannot say anything or do anything but wait. Maybe waiting is all I am supposed to do the rest of my life.

Be at peace

The Cruelty Of A Poet

The light is gone from this soul. I said it in The Curse Of The LonelyPoet Part III poem. Recent events made me write this. I wish I were younger, I wish I were someone else, wishes I never wished before. All for one– A Mirage.

The Cruelty Of A Poet.

Time took moonlight by hand and flown,
And upon the bud touched,
Melted the mist in hesitation stood,
And upon the budding flower fell,
And petal by petal to a wild world she bloomed.

The night to the just awaken morning bid farewell,
Spring morning spread and the wind from west waved,
The birds sang, nature sizzled and the words of a poet, matured.
Oh’ upon the flower poetic eyes found a new step of dance.

Words flowed and in string verses garlanded,
The new bloomed flower who in the verse filled wind danced,
Never cared the world, never cared the nature, poet’s pen moved,
Never known where the words went and what wrong in it all hid.

Spring left, summer blazed the flower in the poet’s mind stayed bloomed,
Muse left, model faded, but the feeling overwhelmingly bound,
A beauty beyond every hope, any wish and Ah’ a petal fell,
And the poetry, Oh’ riddled and with the colors of fall, filled.

The riddles none understood, no love the flower can trust,
Behind colors, behind the veil of nature she walked,
The tragedy none noticed, the scent and color always adored,
Still in the mind of a poet the flower in all beauty danced.

The errors and wrongs the poet known,
The words he wished never to his mind came,
The flower he wished he never seen,
But for it all some unknown reason, fate, away from all kept.

Never to the poet the flower in real bloomed,
Only in his imagination she danced and someone else’s tunes in real sang,
Stayed away and to for him thorn filled stalks left,
And now every day a moment of peace for her he kept.

No prayers of him she can hear,
Nothing changed, no matter how he apologize,
No matter what he try to change,
In her eyes, just another naughty riddle.

Ah’ the philosophies and science said and done,
Life a fate and time torn riddle,
Love of two lay strangled in all the riddles and lyrics,
Eyes once filled with tears now in tearless pain, blinded.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved. 2011.

The Deep Knowledge.

The greatness of life is knowing who you are and where you are in time and space. I am not boasting. I know exactly who I am and where I am. So when I make a move I clearly know why. Sorry if I made you all feel uncomfortable. That ability is the greatest gift God gave. This is a poem wrote with audacity and the will to care and share. Enjoy.

The Deep Knowledge.

Deep, deep into the depths of space I looked,

When from inside exploded, stars blinked,

And the child inside, in gladness smiled.


Gathered dust and gas around forces unknown,

Emptiness through humanly unimaginable space spread,

Then came another cluster of stars,

Each one in its own unique ways moved,

Each one its own unique lessons carried.


In it all I feel one force, the hand of God, the truth of creation,

Oh’ even the imaginations with which we imagine, a God given gift,

And to even the furthest piece of dust bound,

The beat of a heart, the thread which no senses we posses can imagine.

There is a reason for all creation,

That reason through living one learns,

The good one does upon the reason light sheds,

The bad ones does takes away a ray or two,

What it was all about? Some even in grave wonder,

Some always live in the light,

Then there are those who through others learn.


Deeper and deeper life goes,

More than a lifetime it takes to live,

Some leave memories of bitterness,

Some leave happiness for others to cherish,

Some leave legacy binding,

Life of generations ahead.


Deeper and deeper light and darkness grows,

One without the other meaningless,

Good or bad is not in the actions,

Good or bad is in the results and intentions,

As good and bad from the same source arise.

Deeper and deeper through the universe looked,

Deeper and deeper knowledge grown,

Every event a mark in the past drawn,

Every past event in cycle in future comes,

Just the actors and stage in naughtiness of time change.

Oh’ how many wonderful stages passed,

How many wonderful actors on that stage placed,

Colorful, scented in depths they touched,

Then faded away into the depths of time.

Oh’ deeper and deeper the vastness of universe expanded,

The more I looked in between vast emptiness found,

Great color filled stages where like magic objects found,

The chaos and confusion meant peace deep inside,

As deeper and deeper my own soul I understood.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM All Rights Reserved-2011

Out Of Youtube

I am out of youtube. People maybe wondering why I deleted my accounts and left. The reason is they terminated my account amidalaneboo. I lost 70,000 subcribers with that account. No one really knew who it was behind that account. Now you all know. My videos will come here in xanga, Facebook and my own video site. None of my readers here should take this personally. I will never ever return there.

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