Considering the response I got for my last post and for some of my recent posts, I kinda understand the interest of many. No more mercy comments needed in this site and no one will be allowed to message me anymore. No more RSS feeds too.
It is very interesting how days goes by. A very tough day, I just don’t know how I kept my composure all through the day. There are people out there who are totally business minded, who don’t care that it is people who works at computers to program them. There were many times I thought I’d say that I am not a computer. But luckily I have a very nice supervisor, she did all she can to keep me out of the reach of these jack asses. I told ya I will be taking a trip in the middle of the week. Rain, snow or shine I must do this. I don’t know how many more times I should do it. It is critical.
The poem came to me rather than me trying to get to it. I was watching a cold case show, I don’t remember what was the story line and in between I thought about drawing again. Well I did not draw, as, if I want to draw Katherine Morris I have to start drawing Julia Roberts. The connection I still was not able to figure out. So I don’t draw anymore, instead, I wrote this. Enjoy.
In the sunlight facing westward she sat,
Not looking at anything but
The book of cheaper romance,
More beauty inside than outside found,
Still upon the dry clean sheet the pencil I pressed.
Between the curly hair her pretty face shined,
And what dark part, the graphite pencil can draw,
Mind can figure out still the silhouette slowly started,
To appear on the sheet from her left temple that glowed,
The kind face of sun in every ray from her reflected.
The line the pencil drew so smooth,
Towards the eyebrow bending,
Then the dark eyebrow draw, curved,
The brittle eye lashes covered the edge of the eyes,
The eyeballs were hard to fix,
As if in a dream, fast they moved.
And a little bulge my pencil felt,
As a little smile upon her face blossomed,
As the pencil curved through her cheeks,
And came all the way towards the only ear I can see,
Between those curly hairs pointed hide and seek it played.
From the outlines the pencil went,
To copy the fainted shadows,
The smiling, rosy cheeks leave around the eyes,
Oh’ I can see the rays of the evening sun fight,
To land upon those eluding eyes.
Then the pencil went about draw her nose,
A little curve that went up to a tiny tip,
Those little nostrils where the air she breathed,
Oh’ that heart gets its air from those, I wondered,
As the three dimensional touch the pencil finished.
Then what remained were those lips,
They twisted and many times whispered,
That which she read and those occasional smiles,
The pencil in my hand as it finished her lips shivered,
As deep into mind the image of a beautiful face, merged.
Oh’ with an apologetic mind I walked away,
As deeper and deeper into her romance she fell,
Not knowing through tip of a pencil an artists too,
Felt a little crush at a beautiful poetry,
The unimaginable supreme being wrote.
Elton John – Please
This is one great song. Anyone who have a little interest in poetry listen to the lyrics of this song and see how wonderfully Elton John blended the music with for this song. That’s the mastery of Elton John. That’s the reason why I like his songs a lot. It will not instantly catch you and leave you once it is over, his music and Bernie Taupin’s lyrics kinda grows in you and becomes part of you. I loved listening to this song when I was writing the poem above.
I thought I will sleep at 11:00PM but as I slept till3:00PM how will I sleep is a good question. Well I talked to mysister after a long time. She is happy. Today was warm here at leastthat’s what the weather man on T.V said. In the evening I went to thegrocery store, it was warm I bought food for the rest of the week.Well that’s all in this Sunday. Next Sunday what will I do is aquestion. I have a guitar I may play that all day. Well I don’t knowhow to play that is the only problem. It was bought as a stressbuster. Still I may play that in the best possible way. I want toavoid watching that super bowl damn can’t believe Packers are notplaying.
The poem, when snow falls all around one thing thatstands in every neighborhood, snowman, what do we see on him, a smileand after winter will be gone we still may remember the snowman aswhat we can remember of him, his smile. Here is what came of thatthought.
SmileOf The Snowman.
The mid winter evening fell prey to thegathering,
Of the dark clouds from west came andspread,
All around the horizon like an invadingarmy.
Then upon everything fell, the whitemischief of nature.
The next morning woke up to a feet ofsnow,
Then in the fun of all took birth thesnowman,
His big bulky belly and thin hands,
No clothes but a hat, but all smiled atthe well drawn smile.
He stood like the warrior guarding thetown,
The freeze gave him more life everyday,
All who looked at him smiled and walkedby,
And kids and grownups all at him waved.
The freeze went with the arrival of thenesting days,
The trees shook away the last bit offrost,
Little birds squeaked with all theirbody strength,
The snowman went underground as onlyhis hat can be seen.
As flowers bloomed and later warmth ofsummer came,
In golden evenings everyone scatteredin summer fun,
The games of love once more played withfull hands,
And love left with the golden rays ofthe evening sun.
When the soul was once more leftunloved,
Looking at the dusty torn hat Iremembered,
The only realistic smile my mind canremember,
The smile of the snowman in that winterfreeze.
Pink Floyd – High Hopes
This is a great song one of my favorites of Pink Floyd. It really gets on ones nerves and plays from within…
I put my own picture in profile, because, couple ofmonths back a guy from here sent me a very romantic letter, I toldhim I am not gay. He told I am sorry, I thought you are a girl. Thenanother girl from here who added me to her Yahoo told me, she neverthought I am a man. Then in the last post I saw someone telling,write on girl. Daang.. so I don’t want anyone to think anymore I am agirl. Okay
I spent most of this Saturday sleeping. Then I listenedto music, meanwhile I chatted with couple of good friends. Just whenI was chatting with one of my friend she was telling me a lot of herdreams during her younger days. This is a first draft written out ofone of them, I am calling this a first draft because I don’t feelthat it is finished, to say in another way I don’t know if I was ableto express what I really wanted to express well. Then I thought whynot ask my friends here in Xanga to tell me what they think.
Here it is.
TheLove Of The Gypsy Lady.
A thousand beads she held on a her lap,
And with a whistle she strung them one by one,
But her mind one can figure away from there,
As the mid summer sun shied away between clouds.
The little birds flown around her fearless,
Bees flown around leaving the flowers,
As the wild beauty made a wild wild necklace,
For some unknown downtown girl.
In her younger days she wishfully believed,
The man of her dreams came upon that fat old tree,
Upon the wings of the angel of love,
And waited to hear from her every full moon night.
Every full moon night awake she stayed all night,
And sung songs of love that praised him well,
Songs of gladness and many times sadness in not seeing him,
Then her wishes, dreams and the care she may give.
In her young heart with dreams she made,
A small wooden house near the lake,
Where in the warmth of each others love,
Live days and nights until breaths will seize.
Never a face her dream have seen,
Though age grabbed her by her throat,
And all around the countryside wandered she,
And far away from her mans tree she went.
The world taught her there is none up there,
A man of her own kind wed her on a moonlit night,
In the years passed she gave birth to five pretty ones,
All of them made her a mom everyone wish to imitateonce.
When the last bead she strung and tied the necklace,
Her daughter with curious mind to her asked,
“ Who will wear such pretty beads, ma?”
“A prince will buy this for his princess dear” momreplied.
“Oh dear, the prince live somewhere far,
And on full moon nights comes,
Upon the wings on the angel of love,
Then he will feel your heart upon his”she said.
When she took her breath to say more,
The little girl skipping rope and left,
But the mom heard her little girl sing,
A tune that once had words of all the dreams she weaved.
Kaadhal Rojavey – Roja
This is from a Tamil (spoken in the south indian state of Tamilnadu, which is the nearby state where I am from) This movie was a very sensitive movie as it portrays the life of a girl whose husband, who is a defense cryptographer first comes to marry her sister as an arranged marriage, that girl have a boyfriend and she pleads to him to save her relationship with her boyfriend, the scientist tells that he did not like the girl but he like her sister. Everyone agree and the marriage goes on but this girl was angry at him for rejecting her sister and literally insulting her in front of everyone in the village. By the time her sister calls her and tell her what happened her husband gets kidnapped by terrorists. The girl is from a very rural town and she ends up fighting the government to get him released. This is a song he sings when he is in captivity. The music is by A.R.Rahman this is the first Tamil movie A.R.Rahman did. The songs in this movie became an overnight sensation in the entire south India. Listen. The actor is Aravindswamy and the actress is Madhubala
Hello everyone. There is a weekendknocking on my door now. I want a weekend, a weekend filled withsleep. That’s what I want. I am a workaholic, I can work for 40 hoursstraight, with no food or sleep. Now I am tried… yeah, I am gettingold.
Not a lot going on inlife. I am planning for a trip to Kansas in the middle of the week.Dorothy here I come.
TheWillful Battle Against Fate.
Oh’ no, further and further the bottletoo rolled,
Nothing can intoxicate the mind more,
And stop it from knowing the loses,
O the rough edges of life grind himdown.
Through shallow short cuts he tried,
To bury the pain, lived in the depthsof mind,
Sometime wishes joined hands with thosepains,
And memories held them all in wedlock.
Parentless childhood and uncontrolledyouth,
O the good in life remained in himmummified,
As through the darkest paths throughlife he gained,
Intoxication no liquor or drugs cangive.
As for his life what season one cancompare,
Everyday went like a winter night,long,
Every night like a summer night, warm,
All that meant to blossom, died away atbudding.
Meaning he searched and found none,
Patterns he followed with futileeffort,
Always behind, always waited, alwaysfailed,
And success like mirages around himhaunted.
Still he gathered the will to live,
And for that he need no intoxication,
The belief in life in him so strongstayed,
And he fought his way against fate.
Though rhymes in life never existed,
Tough mind found rhyme with anotherdimension,
Then the mummified good shown him away,
A way to a beautiful soul with love forhim filled.
Though success remained as an elusiveprey,
His own success was in his battleagainst fate,
God indeed gave mankind the will tochoose,
God indeed made fate mankind’s enemynumber one.
I am in poetry overdose mood… I searched and I amsearching for a reason, for not being sad, angry and to get into agood mood. Damn I am lost within my own mind. There are good thingshappening around but the bad just out shows it all. That’s it
Totally different topic. Heath Ledger is dead. Ihaven’t turned on the T.V after the Packers loss. Even now I am notwatching T.V So I don’t know what happened to Heath Ledger. Mybrother told me there are speculations that he overdosed. Whatever,he was a good actor.
Now the poem.. I told many times here in this blog thatI have a habit of taking a thought and just talking to myself aboutit. This is just a thought I took from myself, in a way I just wrotewhat I spoke to myself.
Enjoy those who are enjoying these days. But I know mostof the people are not in a good mood to even update their blogs. Hopeyou all find a way to find peace of mind. I have found a way, donothing, just sit and sit and sit and keep on sitting. That’s it
Where are all the good days gone?
Where are all the good people gone?
All I see around are mere mirages,
And they all show inverted images ofmine.
Where are the whistling winter winds?
Who all like lovers kissed my face,
Where are the nightly owls have gone?
Who all woke me up with their scarysongs.
Where are all the snow flakes gone?
Who all compete to sit on my nose,
Where are all howling foxes gone?
Who all fought for a meal in the wintercold.
Oh’ how forgetful I am as life pluckedme apart,
From all those who inspired me to beme,
Oh’ how wonderful were those days upnorth,
When time felt tired chasing me in mynaughty life.
Oh’ how blessed I feel, when a smileupon my face spreads,
Thinking about yester years and thedrama they wrote,
In which played I, a lovers role, sobadly,
But survived to think and smile at itall.
This is a great song, listen to thelyrics and music, I did not liked the video much but this one songworth listening
I don’t know when I was about to start something good, I can feel everything falling apart. I shut my eyes many times, I can only see dark, I smiled many times, I can only taste the tears… This year so far SUCKS big time. Honestly… this looks like a shitty year. Damn it
The valley left empty as the storms left,
Shattered houses and mangled fields,
And from between the piled up rubbles
Cries of orphaned pets, all around echoed.
When alone wandering through devastation,
Oh’ wish to find a tree or little wall to lean on,
Clutched heart from all sides, pulled every vein,
Oh all in vain all that stood shattered, in the storm.
When night spread her dark, malicious magic around,
Squeaking bugs joined the cries of the orphaned pets,
Noting kept quite, nothing seen, nothing touched,
A brittle, but cold wind tried to sing pathos of the land.
If the morning wakes up what will I tell her, he asked,
Mind fell asleep long before the body did,
The lost ways are a ways too, to somewhere,
But in starless night, every corner looks like a way out.
Then somewhere fell down in someones land,
The landlord’s silence was a gift of the violent storm,
Can he speak too. he thought he should shout,
Then he know, his howls will fall into deaf ears,
Oh even when they were all alive they loved,
Those speechless creature more than him,
Now when those were howling in pain none cared,
Why should anyone alive should care for this unknown.
Once more upon his own failure he decided to be alone.
Sinead O’Connor – Sacrifice
This Sinead O’Connor’s performance of Elton John’s song Sacrifice. Most of the people who know me know this is my all time favorite song in any genre or language. Now Sinead O’Connor is one of my favorite female singers. Many people say this performance is really bad, but in my opinion this one of the best performance by her. She is at her best here during the Two Rooms Collection recording.
I don’t know how life works. It got the strangest waysand one likes it or not there are ways one must pass. Then in thoseways one will see many things some can only come to a certaindistance then one must leave it for something new.
Enjoy the weekend everyone.
The echoes of a lost love rumbled,
As the beauties walked away in parades,
Consuming the spring and summer of alife,
But the parades in their own misstepsfailed.
The dragging of the mind from thedepths felt,
And gladness from deep sleep slowlywoke,
The feeling of the fall winds allaround felt,
And life in the cold drizzles soaked.
Who came from where, eyes scanned,
What words heard ears in stiffnesslistened,
Nothing known to five sense felt,
And life just left in shadows,perplexed.
Oh’ you Angel, the Angel of heartbeats,
It is your naughtiness nature carries,
You the one upon the rays of morningsun comes,
Coloring the colorless, brightening thedark, mind.
The magic of your love so magnificent,
Turning every drop of drizzle tokisses,
Turning every dying leaf to scentedblossoms,
Defeating the mindless thoughts of lostlove.
The warmth of you love so spectacular,
In those glowed the tilted earth,
And at the end of the year felt thesummer warmth,
Mind deeper and deeper dragged, intothe ocean of love.
Oh when in your hug you hold mind andbody,
Sprouting from the depths of your soul,love,
Merging soul into your soul andweaving,
With forgotten dreams, the cloak of anew life.
Michelle Branch – Goodbye To You
Do you know who are real losers? Those who understandsomeone, what he needs and really love him but because of some stupidsocial reasons cannot do anything about it. They will go to heavenstraight away as they live a life worst than hell. Every moment oftheir life they will regret not being with the one they love. Theylive a life of constant fear of losing something unknown to them.
What I said above is from real life experience. Thereare people out there who betray themselves in desperation of living alife defined by a world that pour only fear into them. I know onelike that to whom I looked for something but what was given was aterrible disappointment. Those thoughts brought out these lines.
May God Bless You All
The little boy from far looked,
At the bicycle wheels out thererolling,
Towards them he too rode with legsbetween the bars,
Every new feet moved faster than theprevious one,
His little legs gone round faster andfaster,
Then it all stopped and he laid on thegravel road.
The Rosewood tree so high and it stoodin aristocracy,
Branches like arms of a funny monsterwaved,
One by one he climbed as fast as hecan,
Vertigo held his heart to a standstill,
The in the sight of vast landsreleased,
Blood to all corner of the body inecstasy.
The river flown so fast down the hill,
The roar at times and the constantflow,
The whirlpools that seen once in awhile,
Jumped into one of them and he swam,
Across through it as hard he can,
Saw nothing heard nothing until handtouched,
Barks of a dead tree across the river.
Eyes sparkled in years of polished lovein the soul,
Face glowed holding a thousand moonsglow at bay,
Smile spread like a storm from the gulfto land,
He looked at that beauty and took onestep ahead,
As the fear of losing her consumedbeyond every fear,
The river, tree and bicycle through hismind flashed.
Tonight – Elton John with the Royal Opera House
An awesome performance of Sir Elton John, one of the most beautiful piece with a Symphonic Orchestra (Royal Opera House). I love this song for the amazing blending of music with one of the most beautiful song lyrics written by Bernie Taupin.
Things changed over night, the Indian company out but the client came for me. A little more money and breathing space to find a job in the exact place I wanted to be. So it is good news.
Not a lot going on other than watching all these politicians attacking each other and finding justifications in attacking. Then come and hug and kiss all in the name of democracy. The last I heard about real democracy, I think it is the peoples will the politicians must implement. Now this is a collective dictatorship we have, the one democratic part is we all get mesmerized by the non stop ads by various candidates. I watched them all and felt at one point or the other that this guy is good, the I heard another guy I felt this guy is good, Then the lady was good then I went full blown crazy and threw the remote away. After half and hour I took the remote and started watching ESPN. I addicted to T.V now.
The poem, I recently was thinking what makes people love each other. Total strangers come together see, talk, learn about each other and have good understanding that fills in their life love they may enjoy the rest of their lives. Then I thought what do I know about it. When was it, who was the girl on the other side. Then I thought about what many of my friends and colleagues told me about that first moment of love. It is a very important moment in a human life. Many just forget it….because they are probably way too young to record it in their memory in the explosion of hormones, emotions and passion. Most retrace that moment like I did. Then there are those who keep it the rest of their life. These thought made me write this poem
AboutThe First Romantic Feelings.
The beauty of the coconut palms and sea blended,
Into the depths of rivers, lakes and canals,
Where every step from the depth of soul spread,
Into the life and in turn life in that little heartfilled,
Love for everything alive in soliloquy known to none.
The school days with arts and music filled,
And evenings between the page of books spent,
The glow upon that face everyone known,
The glow of a wonderful soul in innocence grew,
And none known, as in the comfort of his own loveforgot,
Mind filling with poetry of love the world may know.
On an evening when he left bat and ball,
And walked through the narrow alleys just in thought,
Imaginations took every step in directions unknown,
Oh’ he saw her in all her youthful beauty walking by,
Then all imaginations like a kaleidoscopic imageperfected,
The beauty of love in his mind blended and to his veinsfilled,
With all the perfection in everything he learned,
Now become the enjoyment of not just one soul,
But to the soul that learned all he is with one look inhis eyes,
And loved all the perfections he loved too,
The first romantic feelings of two souls, in love meantto be one.
Here I am posting a different song. As the starting of the poem is a little description of the town I was born in India. I thought I will use the music of that town too. This is a song from a movie, this is a dream scene where the local music, traditions in dress and dance form is used.