I have toconfess, I really did a lot of bad things in the recent past. Things I neverthought I will do in my life. I laughed at it all because the anger and vengeanceI felt otherwise would made me do things that would have consume the whole ofme.
Someone I know told me, do not make ascapegoat of yourself and advice me to edit the following poem to take eventsout of the poem. I did.. It is just a reference of what I felt for her. In away there is only a skeleton of the original poem that is here. There is not alot I am going to say about this girl. She is not a bad girl but among a lot ofbad people. That’s all I can say. In a way I was defeated and I couldn’t helpher at all. Even though I regretted the retaliation I did later. It took a fullmonth of meditation to gather myself. But I still regret it all.
Here she is
Vast is the outer space, Oh’ empty it is not,
Giant planets sparring through space at higher speeds,
And smaller stones and dust flying around uncontrolled,
From among those went astray a piece that attracted,
Towards the green and blue planet, beautiful from far,
But wild as the small piece came near and near.
Entered the realms of beauty and love unknown,
To everything out there, the lands where love takes the walk,
Oh’ never reached the land of love,
Lost every bit of it in heat and fire that consumed,
But became the invisible vapor that shower upon,
Unknown to where, the stone loved to fall and roll
Darkness crept through the valleys of mind,
And there seems no end to the silence,
Fear purified in the emptiness left,
After unrealistic feelings of love left me astray,
Then sleep came to me as the greatest boon.
Woke up hearing the all I heard the mind said to me,
All through life all in a second and gone away,
Then I saw the pretty face upon my screen.
Oh like the clouds deny the beauty of the stars,
This digital magic takes away the charm of all beauties,
But from her eyes came like glow from a distant star,
That penetrates every cloud and reached my heart,
And to her I succumbed my love and to her I surrendered my verse,
Never asked her name, nor where she is from I asked,
The truth I read though little glitches in my mind I felt.
Oh’ those unknown dark feelings melted away in the smiles of her.
My days of sleep she took away,
Still, woke up with an empty mind, I thought,
But with every stroke of the clock the pleasantness I felt deepened,
Upon the recliner with closed eyes I sat,
Oh’ the silhouette of you left in my mind,
Took a life of its own murmuring words of love
And care unheard to mankind.
Be it my belief, be it my talks of sarcasm,
All the irony in me she turned to jokes,
And laughs of her and mine heard like a lot of falling pearls.
Though her mind swayed in the bitterness of her work,
The mocking folks and hungry sex scavengers,
In me she found the gathering of her minds peace,
And to me in gratitude she gave all her love.
And to her from the depths of my heart I said
A thousand feelings in the past passed me by,
A wonderful dream in your shape took birth,
Though the reality in all ugliness may haunt us,
But never will forget to leave,
A wonderful kiss upon your lips.
The jealous minds who know the love of us,
Oh’ they spied upon every word we said,
And in their dirty minds they conspired,
To destroy the love in all purity in our mind formed,
Oh’ my dear leave all and take the plunge I told,
But trust I gave and ever with every bit of love she gave,
Further and further she fell, far, far away from my knowledge,
In my wrath to all those I avenged, none I left, none I killed,
But with their own life for them a nightmare I gave,
And waited in pain days and nights to hear a word from her.
The waiting that consume all my life,
All the bad thoughts and the darkness returned with all its fury.
Then into the depths of space on a warm night I looked,
With all the pain that felt once more I called her name “Izabella”
Across the sky with a flash and bit of a noise flown,
A shooting star breaking all my darkest thoughts,
With a smile back to my home I walked, knowing,
That little moment was all there was for her,
But never failed to write these lines in my mind,
Like the swish of a shooting star came,
Feelings of love for you, when upon your eyes I looked,
Oh the shooting star faded,
But you in my mind forever will remain.