It has become a tradition for people I care, to hurt me. I am hurt… deep inside.

In some weeks it will be a year since I started this Xanga site. It was a mistake. I knew that then. I know it now. I am not going to shut down this site. Because it is my tradition to live in my mistake as long as I can. This is hard to do to many of the people who regularly visit my site. My sincere apologies to you all. If there is a bit of kindness in you all, forgive me. From this moment on updating this site is only a sixth priority. I have five other sites. I will be updating those sites regularly. If you want me come and get me, if you don’t want me, I don’t want you either. You can find the poetry related sites in the left side of this site. Once in a month or maybe twice I will update this site with a poem or two from LonelyPoet.Com. I don’t expect anyone to comment in LonelyPoet.Com. It was a read only site and there are handful of people who love my works there. I will write  a blog entry in LonelyPoet.Org everyday. But that will be only regular after this month as I need to find and move that site to a new webhost.

To the 123 people who are subscribed to this site. It was a great pleasure to have you all here. My heart goes out to you all. But with sadness I am telling you I am so sorry. I am damaged in everyway.

It was an honor being here and posting and commenting. I promised some people that I will never leave Xanga. I am “retracting” my promise and I have no regrets about it.

Have a great life everyone.

This PoetryBox Is Closed. I am going back to my home. The Home Of The Lonely Poet.

Leaves Of The Fall.

Blue October “Hate Me” I love this song which I am playing now… I love it, I love it, I love it.

I haven’t posted a poem for a long time. That’s the least kinda crime.
The worst kind, I did not replied comments. Some I truly did. Rest I
will get to you. When mmmm I just can’t say.  Well… I am busy… no
IMs… barely answer personal emails and barely even eat. Mmm don’t sound
good. Well… life change… and this is what was given to me now. So I am
going to do that. I know you all love me in this crazy way than the
soft spoken hypocrite. Hehehe. Yeah… I will comment. Not today, not
this weekend, probably next weekend. That’s the best I can come out
with. Work, work, work, bit of sleep, work, work work….

Life just sucks, sucks, sucks, Life just sucks, sucks, sucks, Life just
sucks, sucks, sucks…. Add some heavy metal music to it. Haha.

Honestly, I didn’t write this poem today. It was “leftover lines” from
some poem I wrote a long time back. It came out of my Remington Shell
Box which I call “PoetryBox”…. I don’t know what prompted me to write
such a poem. As far as I know all my ex-girlfriends are alive (1000s of
them(just kidding)). This is from the Milwaukee era… that will date it
back to last millennium. Around 1999.A.D.  Enough break time. Let
me get back to my work desktop…..

Love you my xangans, my family, my friends, my darling.

Leaves Of The Fall.

Gladness left leaving tears in my eyes filled,
Billions of images, sounds, touches and smell,
Oh’ they all bound to my soul as sweet memories.

Darling, O you come back to my eyes,
Though the blown up feather carries,
More weight than you do know,
The dust and air filled with every thought of you.

Oh’ down by the lake I swam to feel the cold of the fall,
The sunset can’t fill my mind with darkness,
The moonlight can’t replace the glory of your face.
Oh’ you are gone, you are gone every soul will say,
Except mine where lives the memories of yours.

When you first ran away for me to chase,
I found the character of womanhood, elusiveness.
When you touched my lips and stared at my eyes,
I found the perfection of womanhood meant for me.
When you laid upon my chest and slept,
The underlying character of every human I found, Innocence.

Oh’ every day sad I will be for sometime,
As disease and pain took you away,
But no disease can take away the glory of such blessing,
After those sad moments with a smile my days I will live,
For holding those hands, knowing that mind, satisfied,
With memories flying around like colorful leaves of the fall.

Looking At The Stars

Hello All,

  I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend. By the beginning of this year, I noticed a lot of people changing their attitude to life. Most of them people I know in real many I know through web. Some here just blogging. Many say facts, some express what they feel through poetry. But relationships are kinda hitting road blocks. I don’t have any relationship so I was wondering what is going on. I could only looks at the stars and I did.

  I don’t know Astrology. But I know someone who is very good at it. My older brother Manzoor Ahamed. He is in India. I talked to him and said that I know that there is something wrong and I can’t feel it first hand as I am not in a relationship. When I first talked to him. He told me… ‘yeah… not a good time at all for many relationships’ well… he said a lot of things which is the scientific side of Astrology. Many won’t even understand what it is. I told him to give me a brief less technical details of it all. Here it is.

“Currently Venus, the planet of woman and Mars the planet of Man are malefic to current situations.

Mars is in good placement but it is the planet of war and this is not good to be in the seventh house, which is the house of relations.

Venus is well placed, but it is in infancy and in the house of Saturn, which is retrograde now.

Saturn is weak dispositor now.


From the above technical words to the normal language.

Women are childish in decision-making.

Men like to treat that childishness as a war cry.

Women is influenced by sudden changes of moods wickedness clouds them.

Advice to Men.

Treat your girl as you treat a kid.

Advice to Women.

Your man is not your adversary.

All this are until May third.

After May 3rd, Venus moves to Jupiter’s house from Saturn’s house.

Advice to women.

Since Rahu (in Indian Astrology) is in the same house and Jupiter is natural foe to Venus and Rahu being the Sarpa (snake) watch your tongue.

Do not be afraid. Even with your silence, you can keep your man under your control since Mars is weak.

General advice.

If you are planning a long-term relation first half of this year should be the year of understanding and pardon.”

Okay something that may be very new to you is there “Rahu” it is an invisible planet or object according to Indian astrology. In my understanding. It is probably a planet or object between Jupiter and Saturn destroyed and now scattered as rings and moons around Saturn and Jupiter. Well… that’s what “I” think. Haha.

Anyway… I hope this will help most of you in a relationship in one way or other.

Thanks all and have a great weekend.

Life Is Complicated When One Acts Bad And Think About It. Life Is Simple And Easy When One Think Right And Act Upon It.


I didn’t write today… Well… I couldn’t. It was a nice day…
yeah.. like cocabent said… the tie indeed kinda choke me up… It would’ve been a
disgrace if I hadn’t worn at least the tie. Everyone else but couple of us from
the IT team were wearing full suit. The demo went well and everyone was happy.
It is so nice to see the clients happy after a hard worked project. The
regional commissioners and managers all were there sharing their joy with us.

Like I said earlier I couldn’t write after reaching home as
this day went after reflection. I just don’t know where life is taking me. I am
really calm and I am happy about it. There were hopes for this day that
remained as hopes. There were moments that surprised me deep inside. There were
moments that gave hopes of a lifetime ahead. Why all that happened, happened
and all those that should’ve happened did not happen? It is a “Why” question. I
have a lot of “Why” questions throwing question marks upon my conscience. I
could only add more to it.

Have a great Friday all of you my friends, my Xangans, my
virtual family and my darling.

The Signature Of A True Human Is The Smile He/She Brings On
The Face Of Others.


Pain Of The Mother Of Love.

The day progressed and progressed into making me feel good. I don’t have anything to be glad about. Still I am glad. Haha

 Thanks a lot Xangans for the comments. I love you all. Tomorrow
we have demo of our project. I should be in formals mmm one thing I
hate. I hated wearing a tie when I was in the Catholic school and I
still hate it. But I have no choice.

  Now here is a poem. If someone asks me when I actually wrote
this poem I will say today. But long time back in 1998 when I was in
Milwaukee, WI. I wrote a rough draft and called it “Beginning of the
seasons” it was a tragic fantasy. I did not proceeded with that poem
because till that time I haven’t written a poem beyond 40 lines. I know
that is going to be a long poem. Then while I was writing the poem
“Song Of The Dying Nightingale” (which is my favorite poem of all the
poems I have written) I took some portion of the seasons poem and added
in it. I lost the rough draft while moving to San Francisco. Today I
started writing a poem called “Beyond Love” well that didn’t go well as
what I can see beyond love is nothing. You know like I am right now.
Sitting and doing nothing but writing about love. Haha there is a
contradiction in it. But that is what it is all about my life. Filled
with contradictions. “Beyond Love” evolved with whatever left in my
mind of “Beginning of the seasons” in the following poem.

Enjoy if you can.


Pain Of The Mother
Of Love.

Back in time when Earth revolved straight,
Days and nights held the same amount of time,
Upon a dying day you sworn,
Your love for someone unknown.

To the pebbles you sang the song of love,
But they all laid there dead in the shore of sea,
With the cloud you left messages from your heart,
But they all showered before reaching his heart,
With the birds you left verses of love,
But they only sang the tunes with no words,
With the flow of the river you left,
A message written in your blood,
But the river froze by the naughty winter’s handicraft.

Deep rooted passions spoke,
More than love to your soul,
The ambiguous life perplexed,
Every living moment of life.

Oh’ the Angel of death might have felt merciless,
When held your unloved soul up the wings,
The cry of your soul might have left,
A seed of compassion in the Angel’s eyes.

The Earth might have wept and tilted in agony,
Of losing a precious pure soul,
In the compassion the Angel might have left,
A blessing upon Earth for the generations to come.

Oh’ Is that the blessing that unfreezes,
And from the deadly cold rejuvenates Earth,
And brings blossoms upon trees?

The message you left with the cloud,
After showers, as lovely rainbows shows.
The song of birds day and night heard,
Gives the feeling of what your verses meant.

And the river flows into the ocean, carrying,
The message of love all around the world,
And the passions from your soul seen,
In the eyes of every loving girl.

Oh’ the perfection of love only achieved,
After feeling a bit of pain you felt,
O you the mother of love.

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