More than a month passed since I posted anything here oranywhere. I was not lazy, I was busy. I moved from New York to Kansas.One of the most gruesome dive I ever did, it rained, snowed and the wind allstood between me and Kansas.I made it in the middle of the night. Where am I going to be next is a questionI don’t ask these days. Let life take me there.

  Then in Kansas I got sick, ViralFever… damn it really sucks. Now I am getting better. There are lots of thingsI need to do. But there are certain things that paused me. The question is whysome things should be done lingers… it is always safe not to attempt somethingin which one failed many, many times.

   As for myrelationship, the last love as I said ended. She is gone with the wind. No morecryptic phrases to crack. Language problems was the major problem I thought.But my last poem said it clearly that the difference created by two extremes ofreligion broke it up in the end. She was a fanatic Orthodox and I am a lenientliberal. It just did not added up in the end and the fight was very public wheredenials and curses were fired at each other. I ended up saying… “You lost me,the loss is yours”. She left in tears and I felt tears too. But what cannot beone should not attempted to be glued together.

  Read this poem. Itwill tell you what I am going through now.

Flickers.

The triumph of a feeling in mind danced,
As spring somewhere in laziness slept,
The lovely golden delights of the freezing morning,
Oh’ deceiving they were but still erased the wintry gloom.

The magnificence of the sun, oh dragged around,
Failing to warmth the nature to bloom,
Reminded mind once more, the dynamics of life,
And step by step an eternal fear came close.

Oh’ is this another cycle of freeze,
Where life just to hopes and prayers shrinks,
And every event in life unfolds,
With no deeper meaning anyone can find.

And through days mind drag on and on,
And thought in the shadows of nights born
No light left footsteps in loveless thoughts,
But a hope flickered deep inside through smiles seen. 

The skeptical mind cannot believe,
The trauma still felt for the love that left,
Emptiness like a parasite held on in stubbornness,
But that youthful smile plucked away the scars one by one.

The flicker spread through the mind and warmed,
Even the empty handed spring that lay tired,
Flowers in thousands and rains of blessings came,
Oh’ they only fueled the fires of love in the soul.

Even when heart in dreams filled,
But cannot find open doors for those dreams to share.
Those blue eyes filled with hopes and sanctity won,
And mend every corner of a broken heart.

A simple smile upon my face blossomed,
And that smile a soul filled with love said,
Let this spring make you the monument of happiness,
Let the joy of yours spread the warmth of love.

Once more to the days of confusion and sadness I looked,
Once more I smiled and said to them to remind,
My soul about the mirages I hunted and fought,
And make them the founding stones of my new found love.