From Being A Total Loser.

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Blog Post About This Poem.

Photo by AJ Robbie on Unsplash

The orphaned childhood all alone spent,
Obedient, disciplined yet by all neglected.
Many times to scream he tried,
But stopped in faith and belief in the unknown God.

Every time in life he fell,
Nothing gave him any thought,
As through the constant prayer for betterment,
Every bit of negative energy in him, tarnished.

But adolescent years went by like a storm,
All he dreamt fell apart and what remained,
A pair of tear ducts ready to explode,
Even the girl he loved, smile-less bid farewell.

Disappointment replaced faith and astray he felt,
With his hands raised he said,
“Oh’ God in every failure of mine to you I turned,
And away from me your face you turned,
The world in which choices to me you gave,
Oh’ maybe those choices you never liked,
But no seer of future I am and I never could,
Sure to find peace in disappointments I will try”

Never again his hands he raised,
As leaving all to help the poor he sailed,
Into the wild depths of Africa,
Ah’ people in those war-torn states carried,
Unbearable pain and scars un-healable,
There too an odd man in the pack,
As everyone at him with suspicion looked.

Night and day, in heat unbearable and thunderstorms he worked,
Helping the needy, feeding the poor, cooking for children,
And in it all he found the worst reality,
Of all the disasters from his past.
Though months among the oppressed he spent,
Still at a man of different color, language all looked,
Like a predator from some unknown planet came.
When war, politics and religion all mixed together,
Lost he all hopes and in pain aloud he cried.

Once more he learned in this world he don’t fit,
And left the civilized world for the wilder world,
In the wildest wild among creatures scary,
Trees high and tall and grass neck deep,
Snakes and crocs and beast of many sizes and color,
Among all a strange looking creature with an axe and knife,
He became orphaned again from all civility mankind made.

In the scorching sun for many days he walked,
Thunderstorms danced all around trying to scare him down,
Darkness howled along with an owl unseen,
Nothing came anyway close to the fear mankind gave.

Many days along the river he walked,
Again and again the long lost past in my playing,
In screams with thunders he competed,
In tears he beat the flow of the river.
A million times up at the sky he looked and asked,
“Why, why, why all that had happened, happened?
Why none of what I wished, hoped and prayed for, not happened?”

In a cave near a hill night he spent,
And one morn woke up hearing a growl,
Lion with blood filled eyes at him looked,
He took his axe to give one last fight,
But noticed the lion a lame one who can’t run,
Ran away from the cave to the deepest wild,
And the lame lion, hungry and tired in the cave stayed.

Wandering without sleep even at nights,
As that saved him from the food chain in the wild,
One day near a big tree all tired he fell asleep,
Big noise woke him up, this time Elephants,
A baby one got stuck in between two strong trees,
The mother Elephant trying hard to save her child,
With his axe near to the tree, mother and baby he went,
The mother Elephant stayed away as she knows well,
What an axe is for and what an axe can do.
Took him not a lot of time as the struggle of the baby helped,
To release from between the trees,
And the mother and baby in salute left.

Many, more days through jungle he walked,
Many times from many wild beasts he ran,
Seldom slept and one moonlit night on a rock he slept,
Then in a dream a sound he heard say,
“Didn’t I gave you food and shelter as an orphan boy?
Didn’t I saved you from a loveless heart?
Didn’t I saved you from the slanders of brutal minds?
Didn’t I saved you from the claws and teeth of many beasts?
What did you do for me in return? Shout aloud and cry,
For things and life not meant for you.”

He woke up in tears knowing the bad deeds he did,
Ran away losing all hopes as he knows no more living he needs,
Ran to the cave where he saw the lame old lion,
To give himself in charity to that lame old lion,
Oh’ there he found the lame old lion by hyenas killed,
And now he faced imminent death by the tooth and claws,
Of Hyenas who all in laughs and cries towards him came,
With a smile again up to the sky he looked,
“What will you do to save me from these beasts?” he asked,
He answered his own question
“Some unknown good I did I myself can’t remember”
Elephants from all sides came with loud cries,
And Hyenas ran away from him knowing,
They are no match for the big dark beasts.

All tired on the savannah grass he lied,
From there he saw the mother and baby he saved,
They walked a bit then stopped and back at him they came,
The mother took him and put him on her back and walked,
Lying on top of a lot of strength he understood world respect,
And the very many ways divine love works,
And remembered well the one good deed he did.

How many days he laid there he knew not,
How long the elephants kept him he knew not,
His mind went lightless, no thoughts came to him,
Then he heard the divine voice to him say,
“Why you ran before I finished my say,
All your sins forgiven for that one good you did,
Smile less may be the past that left,
Smile filled will be, the rest of the days”

He woke up in hospital bed in thankful tears,
Where to his surprise his pretty sweet heart he found,
The one who left smile-less now in all smiles and tears hugged,
She told him how much she searched for him as she lately learned,
What true love means and no differences of any kind matters,
When love is from the depth of heart in all sincerity,
He hugged her again and again and kissed her,
Then held her close and tight and up he looked,
Then upon his face a smile spread,
A smile of that kind for the first time in his life he felt.

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Photo by Luis Galvez on Unsplash


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