Category: Uncategorized

I don’t know when or if you ever read these posts.

It is not easy for me to go away and you know that. There is only one promise I will keep which is I will run if I ever see you in real. If you want me to keep any other promise tell me why should i keep those promises as you haven’t kept even one of your promises.

Why I write in protected posts? It was all for you Sam. Now it is only for you as I have none else to talk to other than you and the irony is you don’t talk to me at all. I am the LonelyPoet I am trained to live alone. But still there are times a thought comes to me, that things should have been different. In which way I don’t know. Now I say, if given a chance to go back and change something in my life. Yes I will go back to that day when I first stumbled upon your site from the blogring and pass your site like I passed 100s of other sites. Because the pain it all is giving me is really unbearable.

This poems is just a sour grape one…btw I love the lyrics of the song you wrote. Honestly not my favorite tune. But maybe I should get used to listen to your music and learn to dance to your tunes.

The Laughing World.

Pleasing smiles upon my face come,
When in thoughts of you I plunge,
My days and nights to everything else, unknown.

Sweetness tasted, sourness forgotten,
Gladness regained in dreams newly bloomed,
Love of two souls all around echoed.

Love a monster with pain filled,
Betrayed by time Oh’ our souls lived,
Another layer of life, away time torn.

Time can betray, life torn away,
Promises all became lies,
And your  lies made the me a better liar.

Better world, better sounds, souls searched,
The cry of her soul in her words heard,
For a closed door I looked back, a forgotten path back traced.
 
Wild woods grown deep, the forgotten path cannot be found,
Lost soul cried aloud, thunders of spring buried the cry,
Still heard, her crying soul, though her world all around laughed.

Years it may take for you to understand,
The meaning of meeting me in your life,
And who I am in truth none else but only you will understand.
I wish I were wrong, I wish I am wrong,
I wish you were wrong, I wish you are wrong,
No wrongs in anything or anyone I can find,
It’s just that, time betrayed you and me.

Silent through the night came,

Unreal in these days it all sounds,

Silent not is mind, silent never it will be,

But silent you choose to be.

I made all posts I wrote in this site not viewable to anyone. Except one. Initially I blocked that one from entering this site. Then after a long thought I realized. I did it all for that one person, now just because that person blocked me from entering her site, I should not do it to her. What really makes no sense to me and perplex me is she said “I have nothing against you” but still blocked me from entering her site as poetrybox. If she got nothing against me why would she block me? Sometime things don’t make much sense at all and all one feel is fantastic insanity.
Here is a post I wrote in LonelyPoet.Com

“At least for the last 4 years I betrayed the world, writing things I said are fiction as every word meant my feelings to only one person. In the end fiction remains there are no facts. Mirages have all faded away poetry has no value other than the value of the moving sand domes in a desert. I can go no further from here on. I tried to drag myself out of the quick sand. Poet drowned. The man got only the Loneliness. So here I lay down my pen. The age of the LonelyPoet is over. I cannot say I did not enjoyed it. The most enjoyable part of my life was the last 20 years. But the more I try to get out of the quick sand the more the man was getting hooked to the poet and I need to save the man. The pleasure was amazing the pain of parting undeniably unbearable.
Here I lay down my pen. All those who enjoyed my works I know I served you well. All those who complimented my unorthodox style of writing. I owe you more than life. Those who thought I am not worth reading at all gave me the best lessons. To all of you, May God Smile Upon You All Always.

The Signature Of A True Human Is The Smile He/She Brings On The Face Of Others.”

This PoetryBox Is Closed.

It will take a great effort to get this back open and there is only one person who can do it and that person is not me. She knows who she is.

******************

Here are some comments and parts of comments left by a darling girl in my site in the time that passed between us. Read this whole thing.

“My best wishes go out to you…in hopes that things in your life will improve with haste. No one deserves to be put in darkness like that…by anyone. I’m sorry if I’ve done that to you.”

**

“As always, I’m extremely happy that everything worked out well once again. Glad I could be of help to you.”

**

“You made a good choice…if she was trying to make you into someone you’re not, that’s generally a better sign than any that it wasn’t meant to be. If anything else, you have people who love you for who you are. ^_^ Never change.

Your poem is beautiful…as they all are. “

**

“That has such deep meaning. It seems that you are not only explaining the budding of a spring rose, but almost of another human being. It’s captivating.

Regardless of what you say, I will think of you…I hope that this time works more than any.”

**

“I wish that everything that ails you turns to light in place of darkness, and that you are able to find happiness at its finest on this holiday weekend. I don’t like to see people I care about unhappy, and you deserve to be happy.

 

May your week still be filled with as much happiness as possible.”

**

“That was beautiful. The symbolism you use to portray the insanity of life is wonderful…I really enjoyed it.

It would seem that you yourself are going through insanity…you express your chaos well. I hope that your world stops spinning enough to allow your peace to settle.”

 

 

**

“I must say, everyday that I come home from work, school, dance, etc, I always look forward to seeing your posts and comments…and I want to thank you. I am always honored to be your {darling},  and will always be as such.”

**

“As always, I wish you the most amount of happiness possible…because you of all people deserve to be happy.

 

Believe me, I am MORE than honored to be your {darling}  I look forward to hearing from you every day.”

**

“I greatly apologize for not as many comments as usual. Busy times lead to no computer…which always ends up making me feel extremely grouchy. However, time passes and there will be somethings that are never forgotten, despite the stress and the hurry.

You my friend, are never going to be forgotten.”

**

 

I really don’t think I need to explain what made her say these things. The fact is she had forgotten me.  It is not my fault, if it is please tell me what I did wrong. For any wrong I did or not did I apologized many times. So she not only forgotten me, I am un-forgiven too. That gives me a feeling and do I really need to be specific if it is good or not?

The Video ends with a warning.. don’t worry it was a prank

When upon the melting snow and ice I walk I wish, My love for you melted away like this snow and ice.

 

Someone made me think that way. You know what, if you are trying to piss me off you have succeeded by ignoring me. But that won’t stop me from loving you or won’t stop your love for me. Keep on blocking and keep on ignoring, in these years I have learned by practice to live with the pain of waiting and the frustration of being ignored and unforgiven.

Here is the video release of the Poem “Words Of Apology” The actual words will be in my blog. But in this video you can see it and read along. Enjoy

Winter is having a wrath going on outside. One week after I got into my new home, OMG every bone, vein, flesh is aching ooh, lot of moving, assembling and after all that today morning moving about 8 inches of snow to get my car out. Well if it were a week back I would not have cared for the snow as I had the Nissan Titan Truck. Now as I am not moving from one place to another I don’t need a gas guzzler that I cannot get into my garage. So sold that guy out and bought a small car, got a great deal on a new Nissan Sentra colored cappuccino brown. It is another simplicity I am going to. So as the car is smaller no 4 wheel drive needed to move all the snow out and of course I needed to move the snow in the walk way in front of the house. But the freaky side of winter is not over yet, it is still snowing and more will come thurs-fri and later on Sunday. You know what, it is good work out during winter times, burns all the excessive fat I gained from the free lunch I am getting at work . So most people who asked what happened on Feb 14^th in not doing the BlogTV comeback show, the car buying kept me at the dealer till 10:00PM. 4 and a half hours of negotiation got me a monthly savings of nearly $400. Now a week later tonight I am going to do it. Or at least give it a try to do it. If I am feeling too tired I may not do a show. But there is a 90% chance I will do a BlogTV show tonight. I am not expecting much crowd there because most of my subscribers left blogtv. Hope to get some new viewers there soon.

 

Have a great day everyone.

  
This is the first picture taken after setting up the computer table and chair in the new house. I am still moving stuff around and arranging. My main enemy dust. So weekend is flying by fast. Sorry it took a while to set up the internet so I was not able to do blogtv shows or post the poem here. I will do that either tomorrow or Monday evening.