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Last week was interesting. I can go through a list of things and say many good and bad things about the week. But is it really necessary to go through the same things and expect a different result? No I am not that kind. Still.. here is what I can say

First of all.. on 12^th someone tried to surprise me. It did not work at all. She once told.. one of my stories got into her and she would like to talk to me and I should not be afraid to talk to her etc. etc. etc…. Now she says, every time I say something it gives her stress and makes her upset and what I do is sent her messages and write pages of word documents(my new stories which you can find in http://sajuashan.xanga.com) . You know what first I thought she is just another girl who is exploring life. Now I know she is trying to screw her life up. Each and everyone around her is trying to exploit her for their own advantage. She is running towards a cliff blinded by praises by selfish morons. She will fall that is a historical inevitability but she will not be hurt by the fall, for I will be there to catch her. Even after she wanted to hurt me by blocking me and ignoring me (I recently told her, block me if you want to because I will be truthful about what I feel and you may not really like it) I still will be there and will never let her fall. You know why? Because I know she loves me that much. I just cannot walk away from that much of passionate love.

The next day I found the sun fired out a massive flare. I said it here before.. whenever this event occurs something like this happens…. I may lose jobs or I may lose money or someone will fight with me. Yup it happened.

Then the usual summer things, I am a big bellied 42 year old man.. I wonder why girls almost half my age want to have sex with me. I don’t think I am that attractive. But you know what, they ain’t gonna get me as there is a girl loving me more than I can possibly imagine or even she can possibly imagine. I will do everything to love her back at least half of the love she gives.

And then:- I set up security system and cameras in and around my house So once more the LonelyPoet has nothing to hide, LonelyPoet is not hiding anything and LonelyPoet will not hide anything.

Here is a poem I wrote the next day after my girl told me not to communicate with her ever. This is no communication to her.. read then you will know.

A Bitch And Her Bastard.

Trials and errors ah’ part of  life they are,
Easy everything in life will be,
When every event as is accepted.

Love to us through the spiritual world came,
A world about which you never cared to know,
So the love in you for me a conflict,
In the pathetic life and world all around you built.

To you, anyone and everyone I am a misfit,
A dark dot in the room you painted,
A wild creeper upon the castle you built,
Ah’ even in the harshest seasons passed,
And through your failures to understand and accept,
Oh’ my life a survival than a success became.

Sadness I left, anger I left and all of it you questioned,
In those questions I heard,
The touch of love deep from the soul of yours,
Ah’ every moment and in every way when you rejected,
Your own love for me,
A bitch that love became,
A vagabond bastard of that bitch my love became.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved.2012.

I haven’t written a blog in some weeks now. I was busy, crazy and above all weird. A lot happened around and lot more is happening around. I learned no to be angry and not to complain about things. I learned not to love someone who cannot love me. I also know very well the last thing I will ever do is to become so stupid and accept something popular and praise it. It was a shaky week. I wish some things were different or did not happen at all. I also wished if some things happened. Well, no complaints, no complaints at all. I will try to smile and make you all smile as much as I can.

Have a great weekend.

My Penance.

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****************** Short New Poem By LonelyPoet.************************
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The Prisoner.

The Rain outside lashed with the fury of the Northern winds blowing,
Ah’ what wonderful sound I hear from the dungeon I sit,
The warmth of the land into the dungeon crept,
The smell of the fresh wet sand all around danced,
Thirst in the summer warmth with every blink of eyes clutched,
Oh’ then a drop of rain upon forehead fell,
The cool through every corner spread,
The stretched empty hands in thin air felt full,
One smile of her a blessing of this kind not even in dreams I saw,  
I am stuck in the dungeon of my own self doubt,
Hearing the rain and to the wind listening.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved. 2012.

Everyone must be thankful that they are not living alone. I have every right to say that because for someone who lives alone most of the time he should know how it is to be alone. Do you really get the sarcastic tone in this? Well this is the first time I am going to tell a person to do this.. WHY DON’T YOU GO AND FUCK YOURSELF THAN TRYING TO PRICK ON ME AND GET A FUCKING CURSE FROM ME??

 

Facebook is the biggest fuck up I have ever dealt with. Still I use it though. For the last four or five posts I have noticed most people who like my posts there and praise me as a poet don’t even come to this site to actually read the post. I will tell you an example, yesterday I posted something there.. six or seven people liked it but the first one to respond was Arthur (TorukMakto) he told “Yay yay I figured it out, dude, if you miss your girlfriend go to her and sing these poems to her directly or call her. That should not stop you from writing poems like these, because they are awesome.” You know what happened, the rest of the people started telling me I should not stop writing.  It clearly told me none of the people who told me not to stop writing actually read the poems. They were just thinking what I said in the post was I am stopping to write poems from what Arthur said. In fact look at the last post, neither the post or poems says anything about me stopping writing. I don’t believe I should continue to use Facebook as the spear head. I never liked it.. I was playing along with Mo Cuishle. She will always be that but me going back there with my poems.. not going to happen. If someone there really wants to say what they feel about my poems they can come here and say it. I restarted the network and hopefully when I update here it will automatically show up there.

Here is what came to me this day.

The floating lotus owes to the muddy water nothing,
The flying raven owes to the wind nothing,
The River owes to the storm nothing.
Reasons never ask for thankfulness,
Yet the beneficiaries in respect always remembers the reasons,
Like the poet always in thank filled respect remembers his muse.

 

 

This is a short poem these short poems usually don’t take much time to write. The idea will be insignificant, but the thrill of writing these short poems is, on the fly I will able to modify the idea. This particular poem started with the thought of counting waves near the ocean. I started with expressing boredom when waiting for someone. The eagerness on one side then inactivity on the other, however by the end of the second line the idea started evolving in my mind and I ended up with expressing a totally different idea altogether. The time gap between the first stanza and the last three lines was about 3 hours.

Enjoy, I am sure many will and the one I love to know she read my works… hmmm… God did not bless me with that much luck.

Climbing Mountains.

Count and count and count numbers never end,
Every heart beat takes a century of another time dimension,
Less than a second to you, so it matters not,
Life for some a mighty ocean to cross,
For some a wonderful dream filled with love,
Oceans I don’t like, climbing mountains I love,
Never will I measure the height of a mountain,
Until I reach the top of it,
As then I will know, how low it is.

When feeling of love for one inside boils,
And no feeling of her love or existence I feel,
Ah’ I know far away from any mountains I live.

 

This is a related poem I posted directly on Facebook.

The Waiting Penguins.

The frozen ice a bit unfroze,
The penguins found their mates and bonded,
The winds of south behind the frozen canyons rested,
Then mates to the sea to kill hunger went,
The stampede and the dangers of the sea known,
Still they left their mates to the sea, unpredictable.
Seals, sea lions and sharks, Oh’ they hunted,
Many penguins to their mates returned,
Others, forgetting hunger and all other emotions waits.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved. 2012.

I am not going to say anything about this poem. One should understand what exactly I mean from reading the poem. If one doesn’t understand the idea in this poem, I am not a poet and I should never write again.

The Acceptance Of A Proposal.

The golden lights beyond the hills they raised,
Giant boulders like smiling demons stood,
Up through the valley he took her high,
For her queries to where they were going,
Elusive excuses to her he told.

The glider through the northern winds glided,
And upon the highest plain with her he landed,
In the thrill of flight and the magnificence of the scenery she jumped,
And her wonder filled gladness made him smile.
He took her hands and for the first time with her he danced,
Round and round through the grass less plain they danced,
The whole nature revolving around her he made her feel.

She held him tight and to him she said,
“Oh’ what a wonderful sight you show,
Serene Views and the singing winds,
And the nature around me dance,
Sweetness on this day took a manly meaning in you,
And to you dear I owe for the gladness you give.”

He kissed her lips and pushed her aside,
And to the edge of the plain he walked,
Then to her he turned and said,
“Bow I will not before anyone but God,
Kneel I will not before any defeat life can give,
Through the rough roads we both walked,
As season after season put our minds in betrayal,
Of the feeling of love in permanent denial,
Now that we know there exists nothing material between us,
As in material on the highest plains we stand,
Ah’ the winds and the golden rays blend,
The prefect feelings between the folds of our hearts.”

He looked at her, who smiled at what he said,
The golden light to fade away hesitated,
The wind from hill to hill jumped,
Carrying the echo of his words and the vibrations of her gladness.

Then to a lower layer of rock he stepped,
As above the plains she stood,
Breaking his own silence he said
“Heights in our life we have seen,
In tough times we fell apart and scattered,
Ah’ from there each other we gathered,
Keeping you higher than I am here I stand,
For I will not bow like any Tom, Dick or Harry,
Always at a higher plain than I am you I will keep,
Oh’ save me and my love from the wrath of time and space, 
My happiness as you I will define,
And your sorrows I promise in my love will whither,
Will you take me as your honorable husband?”

First away from him she looked,
Her smile by the winds stolen,
Towards him she came and in his eyes she looked,
And with an unsmiling face to him she said
“My dear, my dearest the echo of your words all around I hear,
Sweet they all are and the poetry amazing,
Your promise deep in my soul touched,
But my dear don’t feel sorry for this warning I give,
Life is no poetry you alone can write,
Life is not just the loving of two wonderful souls,
Life is the definition of each other we both should try,
In failure and success when together we stand,
The honor will be mine to stand with you and face,
And through cycles of time and space,
In each other’s pain, smiles and love,
On this day, at this time upon this mountain to you I promise,
Every honor a husband deserves upon you I will shower,
With my happiness, in my happiness and for our happiness.”

When by the time her acceptance she finished,
Stood near him and with glittering eyes she held,
His face and upon his lips again and again she kissed,
Though a diamond ring he took,
Ah’ his happy tears in the golden lights brighter glowed,
Then the golden lights to the bosom of Mother Nature faded,
But the love of those two glowed like a million stars,
In each other’s souls that guided them into future ways.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved. 2012.