Translating Dreams To Poetry
Dramatic times. A lot ofthings happening at the same time and I have no time to deal with itall. Well in between I sometime take my pen and write. There are manypoems, here is one of them. Rest of them, you know where they are. I amchanging big time. One change I made a heart breaking one I sold my carthe 1999 VW Beetle my car for seven years. I loved it but it no longerfits me as I cannot carry all my personal belongings in it. You all maylaugh which one I bought. No suspense or riddles. A new Honda OdysseyMini Van. I was looking a big vehicle and it was comfortable and bigenough to take all my things. There are many changes to follow. Waitand see. One thing that will never change me being a poet. Here we go…
A Look From Outside.
The silky sunlight of the spring morn spread,
Across the horizon and through the window peeped,
A soul without dreams in the peace of sleep,
Now in the warmth and brightness felt disturbed.
Watched DVDs and heard CDs on the floor scattered,
Pages with unfinished verses thrown around,
A half empty mug with English breakfast tea sits,
With half eaten peanut butter, jelly sandwich upon a plate lay,
Waiting to be thrown out and from this half-rotten prison free.
Oh’ in the days that passed, about a normal life he dreamt,
What unfolded before him was the path of a vagabond,
Every aspiration through the fantasy flight took,
And from heights down was thrown,
When upon the broken wings of dreams face down fell,
One more image of a lost cause in memory engraved.
The uniqueness of his self misunderstood,
The aggressive talks and the uncompromising honesty,
Truth of life and love with stubbornness held,
But, unaccepted, isolated and unbearable he became,
In a world where love lost all its meanings to immorality.
Alone, empty and away he walked,
From all that don’t need him,
In through the depths of everything negative he survived,
With a heart, with passions and prayers filled,
But a squeeze inside his chest felt,
Freezing his spirit and flesh in cold,
Every corner of his body through fives senses succumbed,
Into unbearable pain of parting, losing and sadness,
When eyes he looked into did not glitter,
When words he said into the silence of the other vaporized,
And the clutches of loneliness through the soul once more pierced.
Wiping away the drops of tears, he lied down,
The night through every sense crawled in,
Darkness covered piercing every thought darker,
Sleep, the virtual death, consumed,
The subconscious when sadness overwhelmed,
The deeper the sleep became the deeper memory slept,
Erasing the tiny hope of normal life once more,
Mind in deep sleep, blank as the mind of a newborn became.
Now the cold have left the town
The warmth returned with the silky spring morn sun,
Upon his face with the new season’s magic rolled,
Without any memory of the wrongs that happened,
The silky bright spring morn with cheerfulness he faced,
Unknowing once more, for him nothing but the nature changed,
In the wild weird world of humanity.
©RIAZAHAMMED.COM
Mo Cuishle,
My sincere
thanks to you for writing a poem a day after I asked you to write something. Small
gestures are the ones that I always will remember. What you did is not small
and you know how I will take it. A great honor… that’s it. If you ever want to do anything for me,
writing a poem is always the best.
Riaz Ahammed.
Mo Cuishle,
What in the
world got into you? When I said what I said in my site it was generally aimed
at people who did not visited LonelyPoet.Com even after I went to their site
and invited them to my site. It was not at all aimed specifically at you. I am
so sorry if I gave you an impression like that.
Well… you are one
of my regular readers so I know you will come even in your busy schedule and
read my writings. As my writings nowadays are general and not specifically
written for your eyes even if you don’t comment I have no complaints. Even
though I love to hear from you about what you think about my writings, it is
all up to you to decide whether to comment or not. Do not hate yourself for
something I said.
I think it is time
for you write something, like a poem or a passage. Because the quick reaction
to things is not something that will help in the long run, you can vent at me
and I will sit and take it. Not everyone may do the same. Take care.
Like I always say, once a darling, always a darling.
Riaz Ahammed.
My brother in India Manzoor Ahamed sent this to me earlier. Most of you might have seen this already. Well… for me this is the first time I am seeing it. Worth reading as it makes one think.
To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn’t have one.
To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.
To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.
To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.
To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.
To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.
To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident…
To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics
Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.
There are people who are busy, who thinks about a lot more than they can do. There are people who think they are busy and ends up doing nothing. Then there are others, who just act busy to cover up their laziness.
None of the above qualify to be a friend of mine.
LonelyPoet.
Mo Cuishle,
No, No, No I didn’t mean you to stop
commenting. It was an ironical remark, that’s all. I am so sorry if
this created any confusion in your mind. I was just sad because
Jennifer didn’t responded properly. Well… that is still the
case. That was what I was saying. See Sam there is no need for
any formality between us, as we understand what we are to each other
very well. If you ever feel bad about anything I write or say, feel
free to tell that immediately. That’s what I told in one of the
comment. The easy way to get me online is just visiting my xanga sites.
The trackers will instantly email me to my phone saying that you are in
my sites.
Okay… once more I am sorry for the confusion. Pray for me… I am
confused about a relationship here as Jennifer is acting like a
teenager. I signed the publishing contract and my work is tightening
around my neck big time. But you are always free to contact me for
anything you need. You are still something, something, something to me.
That’s why I call you Mo Cuishle, and you know what it means. Every
comment you write in any of my sites is taken as the word of an Angel.
Never stop commenting.
The Signature Of A True Human Is The Smile He/She Brings On The Face Of Others.
Riaz Ahammed.
Here is a happy news. I have already told some people in Xangaabout it. My book “Age Of Survival” got accepted for publication. It isthe collection of 175 poems including all poems which I posted here inmy Xanga and my poems taken from LonelyPoet.Com.Today I signed the publishing contract witnessed by another poet. Ihope to see it in online and local stores soon, which of course maytake sometime. I will keep you all posted about it. So all of you whoencouraged me, my special thanks to you. What is the best I can do? Apoem, here is a poem I wrote today and so far only seen by Jennifer thepoet who witnessed my contract signing. Feel free to say your mind hereor in LonelyPoet.Com about what you think about this poem. I will be removing all poems from LonelyPoet.Com in couple of days except the latest ones which is not in the book.
Here is the intro I wrote for the poem and the poem.
When one feels love and feels that there is no way to achieve lovethere is that feeling inside that is not that easy to describe butpain, squeeze and cold all join together like lava forming inside avolcano. That’s what I am talking about in this poem. There is nosimple way to say this and it may be one of the spearheading topic insome of the poems that’s going to follow. Read the poem and tell mewhat you all feel.
From A HeartfeltFeeling.
Turn away not, O love, turn away not,
A lot of questions I asked and no answers came,
The way I am wonders me always,
Unloved, uncared and neglected I sure will live,
Life given, through chain of meaningless events must live,
What meaning should I give to these times?
When life never happens in the time I want,
And love never touched me in anyway at all,
And still I love and love with the faith,
The one I love may feel my love someway.
Inside the chest always feel the squeeze,
And like a thousand needles into the heart piercing,
Oh’ love in suffocation thrives,
For the love from the heart known only through love.
Glory of moments of care unknown,
Again and again senses waiting to feel,
The age of changes died away without swaying,
The dead leaves upon I wrote my verses of love.
Silence in the loveless dark path haunts,
A soul only loved and wished to be loved.
Speechless you remain O love,
And in silence I only hear my own breath,
And in silence all my fears awake,
And dances upon my tear filled eyes.
O a smile from the depth of your heart I want to see,
Unpronounced your likes and dislikes may remain,
But give my memory a smile to remember,
Enchant me with a look from the depths of your soul,
Through those eyes you always turn away.
Turn away not, O love, turn away not,
From the only truth in my life I ever realized,
The love for you that will forever live in me.
Background Sound “Song Of The Dying Nightingale” I recited the poem for my ex-girlfriend Valentina who liked to hear me recite my poems and recorded it sometime on an early morning in January 2003. She wanted me to recite the poem early in the morning, as that is the time according to her my voice was at the deepest.
I added the Illachime Quartret music two years after I broke up with her.
Mo Cuishle,
I totally understand… Anyway
thanks for trying to understand.
In all honesty, that
is the one post I really, really wished you didn’t replied. Especially today, a
day, I know I am truly empty handed. Nothing to do with you… but you know who I
am talking about. It’s alright… there are certain things many people cannot
have… For me I am gifted to just write about it a lot.
Life Is Complicated When One Act Bad And Think About It.
Life Is Simple And Easy When One Think Right And Act Upon It.
Riaz Ahammed.
Mo Cuishle,
Looks like your mother is way pissed off
with me…. she got every right for it after what happened. Well… I
can’t do anything about it. I have noticed that she unsubscribed from my
xanga. That’s okay… as I don’t update my xanga regularly. She looks
like blocked me from MSN also. Couple of weeks back I saw her online
and said “Hello”… no response. Today I saw her online and said “Hello”… no
response again. I really don’t know how will I apologize to her. I don’t think
that will ever happen, as there is no way I can communicate with her. She is indeed a great lady I admire a lot after
we chatted many times on MSN. May be I am way too wrong than I assume.
The irony is I just can’t do anything about it… Really, really sorry
about it all.
Riaz Ahammed
Mo Cuishle,
I think a long time back I said you will
always be my Mo Cuishle… I will never be able to forget you. You are
right, through some incredible efforts I was able to get over the
emotions and feelings that sprouted out of my own wrong thinking. Like
I told you when I chatted that I made you kinda a model for my writing
which made my whole thought process go haywire.
You can laugh at this…. I know in the end I need to get
something else to get rid of you. I know it won’t materialize into
anything… but here are the details… Her name is Jennifer… a poem she
wrote is there in LonelyPoet.Com. We talk most of the days but even
though she is a wonderful girl, I have only a little hope in anything
working out with her. Read her poem “Love Against All Odds” and the
post along with that poem when you get time.
The book will come out I don’t know which store will request my
book. I hope it will sell well with more of your lucky blessings.
Now about the lucky blessings… for every person it is something
that works as a lucky thing for them. For me it happened to be your
words. You will have to figure out what is that lucky thing for you.
You will be fine I am sure about that. You truly have a wonderful
heart, though I have never met you, from the interaction I’ve had I can
assume that you are a wonderful person.
My happiness… I recently told this to someone ” Happiness is not
an emotion I can have these days” but I am not sad or frustrated.
However there are those moments I get angry at myself about a blunder I
did with a fifteen year old. Probably I will get over that soon too.
Don’t worry about me… I will be alright. If at all you need to contact
me I will be available and don’t hesitate to ask for anything, I will
do whatever I can. Keep in mind you will always be my Mo Cuishle, and I
have no vested interest.
I would really like to hear more about your encounter with your
dad. I hope he is married now and probably have other children. Or is
he still single? You know he looks like a heavy metal musician.
Probably your music taste came from his side. Did you mother saw him?
How did that meeting went?
Visit LonelyPoet.Com I will be posting my new poems there. I will
post any developments on the book here as a protected post as well as
any developments with Jennifer. Maybe you can leave a lucky blessing
for me winning her heart. Haha. My prayers will be there for you always.
The Signature Of A True Human Is The Smile He/She Brings On The Face Of Others.
Riaz Ahammed