It’s the weekend, wooo… nothing exciting happening, my phone sitting there silent, my IM’s smiling at me mockingly with no sound, and my mail notification pops up every now and then saying in my own voice “DOH..The Mail Is Here” leaving another junk mail in my mailbox.
I am still not happy with some parts of the new poem I am writing. Maybe I may have to get into the mindset of a much younger person. Which is not easy… lol.
But I am not going to leave you guys empty handed on this beautiful weekend. I hope you guys are doing great like me enjoying being yourself.
I wrote this poem in 2000 naming it ‘Age Of Survival’ and one day when I publish all my poems as a book this will be the name of that book. This is only the first part of a three part poem if you want to read the rest of it you need to go to LonelyPoet.Com and read the rest of it. But this part stand on its own. I hope you all enjoy this one.
Thanks a billion for the great comments all .
You all have a wonderful weekend evening.

Age Of Survival
Part One. Cocoons.

The little hearts I see on the streets,
They tell me how innocent I was,
The beginning of imaginations I remember,
And those imaginations weaving the cocoons,
In which I kept my dreams one by one,
Dreams about small things and big things,
About the world I live and the world unseen;
Dreams about my love and the love I get,
Dreams about life here and hereafter.
Of all the cocoons I kept in my subconscious,
All became beautiful butterflies,
And live around me as my life,
Except the one in which I kept the love I get,
Which became a beautiful butterfly,
But flown far away, so far away from my eyesight,
Leaving the rest, just to die and rot away.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. This poem was released in LonelyPoet.Com in the summer of 2000.
Creative Commons License

A day I thought I am going to sleep all day. But today morning my Broadband guys called me and said they are going to disconnect my connection if I don’t pay them now. The automatic bill pay failed once more, I told them that I will pay with my credit card and gave the same credit card I used for the automatic bill pay, the lady told me to hold and in about half a minute came back on and told that I don’t owe them any money as the automatic bill pay worked yesterday and apologized for the mistake. DAMN I said, I couldn’t sleep all night and I slept at 7:00 AM and this call woke me up at 9:45AM.


Had my breakfast stretched a bit to relieve my back and it’s still sore but I am getting used to it. Took my poems and gone through it once more but I know I cannot write even one line today. So here is a poem I wrote back in 1999 from a piece of verse I wrote sometime back in 1996. There is a long story behind this poem but that is out of context here. Visit LonelyPoet.Com if you can and try to understand the circumstances which prompted me to elaborate on an old idea. I hope you all will enjoy this poem.


Your Love.
I’ve heard the sounds water made,
Upon the the pebbles beneath.
I’ve heard the birds sing,
Upon the oak with joy.
I’ve heard the clasp of the branches,
When the wind blows with care.
All those gave a feeling of love in me.

I’ve seen the waves love to die at shore.
I’ve seen the flowers open a little more,
For giving comfort for the bees.
I’ve seen the smile of the cute kid,
Who have only innocence to give.
And all those gave a feeling of love in me.

I’ve tasted the purity of the pure water,
I’ve tasted the freshness of the ripe fruits,
I’ve tasted the sweetness of the sweet tears.
And all those gave a feeling of love in me.

In my deep breaths I’ve felt,
The smell of the fresh blossomed jasmine,
The smell of the healing plants,
The smell of the pure nature.
And all those gave a feeling of love in me.

I always wished it all, to be there in one place,
To feel it all, to smell it all,
To hear it all, to taste it all,
Together once in my life time,
My prayers were answered,
I got it all in your love for me.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. This poem was released in LonelyPoet.Com druing the spring of 1999.
Creative Commons License


Thanks for all the comments about my poem and to all who took time and effort to visit back. Yesterday was a disaster, I felt sick with back pain, stomach pain and I became a total pain in the ass for myself.
 Today I woke up at 1:00PM and walked straight into the toilet and my ugly, unshaven face scared the shit out of me. Thought I will shave but as it makes little difference and I am not going out for at least another couple of days. The procrastinator in me woke up and distracted me off it. Then I remembered this poem I wrote in 1999 in Ft-Lauderdale, FL. As I am working on two different poems which is not complete yet, I hope you all will enjoy this one.

Epitaph Of The Lonely Stranger.

My first love left me, with blame on me,
Then I saw a lonely stranger smiling at me,
My second love left me, with blame on me,
Then I saw the lonely stranger laugh,
When I left the third one,
He celebrated my loss, a whole year.
Now alone trying to laugh away the pain,
But the more I laugh,
More tears fill my eyes,
More fragile becomes the folds of my heart,
And the lonely stranger still celebrates,
He who gave all the misconceptions,
He who intelligently made me wrong,
He added weight, when I went lean,
He who lives in me, with me , all my life,
But every word of love to me, hurts him,
The more loved I am, the more he bleeds,
Hey, beauty by the road side,
Let your first word of love to me, be,
An epitaph of the lonely stranger.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. This poem was written in Ft-Lauderdale, FL.
It was released on the web as part of the first poems in the pilot run of LonelyPoet.Com.
 Creative Commons License

Hi All,
   I am back from couple of days of rest and work and rest. I did not do anything to actually write in here. Today is good. My visa extension got approved, woohoo. … well still a long way to go to get that green card.
 Other than that, nothing much. I thought I will post the first draft of the poem I am working on,  please look at the entry on Tuesday, March 29, 2005. I’ve told you all that I am going to elaborate on that idea. I did worked on it. Then did modifications here and there and my usual drill of leaving it for at least 48 hours before I do anything with the poem.

Ageless Life.

My loving heart filled with passions,

Lusty thoughts and arrogance charged,
After every glimpse of loving eyes.
Dates and romances filled,
Days, evenings and deep dark nights,
Where thoughts and words of love,
Weaved dreams of lifetimes ahead.
No man felt the love so high,
Of hearts filled with pure love,
No man felt the care so well,
Of paternal and maternal love,
And I had those magic words to get all those,
Oh’ how many wonderful moments filled,
Like the golden rays spreading,
All over the horizon,
My life filled with the colors of joy,
And in my younger days I achieved happiness.

All those days passed me by,

Leaving a dark cloud that always loomed,
Over me with vengeance,
And an unknown shadow that tripped me down,
At every step to success in life.
Arrogance in achievement and pride in self,
Anger and lust and the deceptions for it all,
All I left for compassion and love,
But the lusty past like a monster growled,
And that unknown shadow filled everywhere.
I am my own enemy I said,
When sadness, frustration and fear conquered,
Every corner of my imagination.

Days are days and they all start,

Bright and cool and end in dark,
With colors over the horizon spread,
That day started bright and clear,
A cool breeze came to cool my heart so hot,
Vaporized every bit of fear and sadness,
And the frustration into the clear thin air,
With loving words she woke up the real in me,
The arrogant and proud old lover in me,
She loved the anger and the fury of lust,
And I added compassion and love.
These are days I longed for long,
As every day she started new,
With love unknown in the heart of mine,
And weaved my life with dreams anew,
And in her eyes I looked and said,
Oh’ what a wonderful view of heaven I see.

Time and age will turn hair gray,
And wrinkles skin around the bones,
Even then our heart and soul will dance,
In the purity of love for each other,
Cherishing every moment of these days,
And those gone by dark days of mine,
And will laugh at our little ones,
Going through the same.

© http://www.lonelypoet.com




Sorry I did not update the blog yesterday, not a lot going on other than a lot of technical stuff with my computer. It took sometime to figure out things.


Did a little bit of work in my poems and poetry forum.


      Today, lot of cleaning again not in the computer but around me and shopping groceries. Just looked at some poems I laid away a while back and one interested me so I thought, it needed some modifications. If there is any major problems with the idea of the poem let me know.


      If you look into the poem, in subject there are two parts one what we think are the reasons for the social problems we are facing now, two what we did when we were given choices. I am not saying any solution here as that will be asking people how to live their lives which I am saying as one of the problems we are facing in the society.


Against.

All the time after birth,
All the feelings all through time,
No where are the favorable in life to be found,
So, why? How? are queries immaterial,
The chances of success were pruned,
By politics, language, color and beliefs,
By boundaries of counties,states, nations,
Countries and continents,
By the aging generation passing by,
Oh what a wonderful life we had,
Now live the mess for you we left,
Is the message in those smiles mocking,
In the pathos of the unforgiving we outlive them,
Not in success but in the survival of the fittest,
Mongrels they are who chased us away
Away from our own blood and conscience,
With philosophies they themselves never practiced,
And principles that corrupted their own minds,
Upon us like religious rules imposed,
Away from religion and freedom,
Made us all to a feeling of freedom addicted,
A feeling that bound us to mistrust and anger,
That leads us in this life of fear,
Where what we lost was freedom itself,
We are stunned in our own paranoia,
And hear the echoes of our own parents in pain,
The pain we now understand not,
But when as parents should not feel.

Our parents let us choose between;
The good, bad and the ugly,
And we just chose against,
Everything best suited us.

http://www.lonelypoet.com

An uneventful day in which I just passed through pages and pages of my own memories. I am still working on the poem I started couple of days ago, It is growing by every hour. Now 55 lines long but I am still not happy with the starting.  I am moving my poetry forum http://www.lonelypoet.org to a new server but the hosting company said it will take about 48 hours for them to finish the transfer of domain and setup. Once they are done then I have a lot to do to move my handful of members and their posts into the new sever. That will be fun, I know that, as I have gone through that drill before.
  This is a poem I wrote on a day like this as every time I look back in my memories I only have one event and everything that happend around it to think about and talk about. I left this poem in my hard drive as an unfinished one, but I don’t think there is a lot to finish in it anymore. If it is not going to make any sense to someone please let me know what did not made sense.


Gathering Events.

The twist and turns of these tiring days,
That tires even the bravest minds,
Give the thought that nothing outlasts,
The mockery of time with life.
Darkness and light no longer fights,
Days are not long anymore,
Nights are darker with sleeping stars,
Every bit of life in every corner of the universe,
Fed up with the bravery of the idiots,
Who all fight with tooth and nail,
For a bit of time that fits every living, in.
Some time even time will feel shy and laugh,
When spiritual and material life is defined,
Nothing is material is the fact,
None cared when defined life,
To control this unknown passage,
Which grandma called ‘Fate’.
There are those who believe,
They are in between material and spiritual life,
The unknown fact for them is,
They live a dual life, one in dream,
Another, a dream about dreams.

Oh’ my life hit the dead end,
Where the dual lives parted ways,
As to a passion lost,
The ways to bind two lives together,
And dreams and the dream about dreams,
Way back in my past days.



The calendar smiles with a new number,
Time, like a monster goes around then come around,
The twists and turns burns down to mere events,
Passing by with little impact upon time,
And time chases like an avenging warrior;
And dug up from the grave of dreams,
That old passion and up in the horizon left,
And that passion lingers like a thunder cloud,
Covering every other feeling away,
Life in simplicity,
Gathering events for a sad memoir.


http://www.lonelypoet.com



Great day, slept at 5:30Am and woke up at 10:02 AM with a nightmare.
Yesterday I posted an idea of a poem and I got a lot of great comments on it. Thanks everyone for taking time to visit my site and posting the comments.


I am still working on that poem. I couldn’t get a good start but it is going to be a long one.


Well about the rest of the day, I started voice chatting with a friend and another one Benji called from Dubai. He is alone there with his wife back in India as she is pregnant. Then came the surprise of the day. I cannot say the name. I was forced to turn off the webcam. You figure out the rest.


Now I am back at the poem and I know I am in the with my life in it. In the meanwhile I will post a poem I wrote a while back and posted in my poetry forum LonelyPoet.Org I know most of you will enjoy this one.


And thanks again for the comments and to the people who are curious who I am I will visit your sites again and tell ya who I am or you can just visit my website by clicking the visit my website link on the left.


The wilderness passing under the light clouds,
Give every heart passions unheard,
The small plane growled its way through the low level clouds,
Luck always played its tricks on me,
Thought of sleep as the pretty faces ended up behind,
Their chit chats and giggles put me to sleep and to dream,
Lions came from all over the land, trees and sky,
They growled, jumped up and down and mated,
None tried to eat me but let me watch them play,
Loud noise, cries, pain and intense heat killed my Lion sex dream,
I saw nothing in the darkness of the blanket wrapped on my head,
Someone dragged me far and I heard a blast near by.

That’s how I explained my story to the press,
After two weeks in the middle of the Amazon wild,
The pressmen giggled and asked me more,
About living with two beautiful women in the wild,
I looked at them and yelled these words;
“In the jungle all the time I prayed,
And rest of my life to God I will pray,
Not to leave me again in the wild,
With two beautiful lesbians in love”.


http://www.lonleypoet.org


Just another short day, slept all morning and woke up about 1:30PM. I was just wandering around my own apartment like a wild animal searching for something unknown. In the end sat down and took an idea I wrote down about six months ago. I usually take too much time to finish a poem. Here is the idea of the poem I am working on now.

In the younger days I achieved happiness,
In these days passing by,
Sadness and frustration conquer my imaginations,
But when hair grows gray,
Skin wrinkles around bones,
Heart and soul will be dancing in happiness,
Cherishing every moment of these days,
And those younger days of innocence.

I will post the whole poem once I finish it. Tell me what do you think….

Hey  everyone, welcome to my workshop. Thanks for visiting. This
is one of my new little poems. You can see a lot like this in my website LonelyPoet.Com I will be adding some more here. In the meanwhile enjoy.

The charm you brought to us in all these years,
The grace you’ve shown to all the creations,
The blessing you are to everything in every way,
The Inspiration you give me to walk east in your way.
Oh’ darkness was another face of reality,
Into which you drowned in the west,
And rises in beauty and glory in the east.
There exists no better blessing to all, from almighty,
Than you my little star.
But when I see a ray of yours reflected,
from those blue eyes sparkling,
Love of her out done,
Every other blessing of my life.

© RIAZAHAMMED.COM