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This is my first post in this year. I hope none will ever ask me how is it so far. Well.. anyway, I have nothing to say. Enjoy the poem

TheBreakfast.

The look of the winter morn so sweet,
With sun glowed more by the snow laid streets,
Everything white and nature exhaled,
Her breeze all around covering bodies in winter cold.

The warmth of the coffee felt at lips,
As nightly hunger by the breakfast killed,
Oh’ his eyes passed through the paper fast,
And saw nothing that thrilled his mind.

He listened to nothing as most of what heard,
Meant nothing to him in every way,
But the good old mom earth revolved,
With him also, who did no good to none.

The ways of the wilder youth are gone,
Though to himself many times he asked why,
Those days and ways made his heart so warm,
No winter freeze in those days he ever felt.

But the memory of those days and ways remained,
Even when he inhaled the cigarette smoke deep,
Every roll that exhaled left another moment of life,
But still the past remained past engraved deep in the soul.

The coffee though still warm but felt strong,
The Omelet and French toast feeling the winter,
Yet he finished them all and took one last drag,
Looked at the paper once more and then around.

Oh’ how many days passed by with no sign of change,
Life in every way passed the same like the roll of smoke,
And the coffee and breakfast never broke the fast,
Yet, gave fuel for yet another cold winter day.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Elton John – Circle of Life – Live in Ephesus.
Recorded live at the Great Amphitheatre in Ephesus Turkey in July 2001.This show was originally broadcast over the internet and is nowavailable on dvd.. one of the best shows ever recorded.

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The last day of turbulent year woke upwith nothing unusual. I wish every day that passed me by in the year2007 were like this one. They were not. I felt cursed this past year.Well I am a very lucky man to be where I am even with misfortunesrelentlessly haunting me. Well.. there were good things also but theshadow of something unknown always covered my senses. The mistakeswere too much, at this age I just can’t make them. Period.

I am not a resolution person. Idon’t make resolutions. I live my life according to the way itunfolds. So in many ways I passed I only see two footsteps. Thatbothers me a lot these days, but I don’t really care about it thesedays. Whoever stays will find the better part of me, rest …whatever. So I am going back to where I truly belong those who reallyknow me, will know where that place is. It is an uphill task but I amsure once I have to climb that hill and be where I truly want to be.Then settle down there. This is it, I am leaving the consultant life.So in a way 2008 is a year in which I will define myself and organizeand execute a plan that took sometime to figure out. If I cannot dothat I will declare myself as the biggest loser.

Hope you all stay safe out there….This is one day, when all temptations are fulfilled. Have fun myfriends…You all have a wonderful New Years Eve.

I will leave you all with a smile this year….

Do you know what I hate most, those who comes and tell me Seasons greetings, Happy holidays, duh… I don’t even have holiday. I work my ass out… that is not the point. When it is Christmas holiday, say Happy Christmas, Merry Christmas. Say it. That’s the truth, rest are all lies. Well said that, it is a time of giving, maybe it is a little thing one could do, but it brings more cheer than one can imagine. Don’t forget the unfortunate when you feel fortunate. I am fortunate to say that.

There is not a lot going on, one good news is my brother’s mother-in-law is okay. She is out of the hospital now. The surgery to remove her brain tumor was successful. Nothing else is happening around, I am working every day. That’s it.

The poem, I saw many people walking with their hands in the pocket before the salvation army bell ringers without even a smile. This is not the season of giving just gifts to loved ones, this is the season of giving. That thought plus some reality I am facing. I put it all together in one little poem.

 

Merry Christmas my friends, brothers and sisters. I love you all.

Heavenly Love

The mind spoke all the time reassuring,

When failures of the material life crushed,

Hopes that shed light to see ways ahead,

In the darkest paths so hard to pass.

 

What led to the failures mind never asked,

Still endured in views so optimistic,

Every time I fell a beautiful face mind found,

That kindled the hopes in the brightness of their eyes.

 

But like mirages they all faded away,

Love to which I once told no,

Now whenever I felt said to me, no,

And the bitterness in depths of my heart, I always felt.

 

Oh’ these days they just pass me by,

When fairness of values I know not,

When gladness always leads to sad thoughts,

And the silence finds pleasure in the torture of mind.

 

Yes the all reassuring words first became meaningless,

Then they too faded away along with faces,

My nerves feel cold as no warmth of love it feels,

My face smile-less, my mind speechless,

And soul, in a never ending fall.

 

Spiritless walks, dreamless sleeps and thought less talks,

Days went in haste; nights loomed over with a vengeance,

Then on a dark evening along the narrow sideways when I walked,

Heard an abandoned, homeless asking for help,

Emptied my pocket and without a word I walked.

 

Little it maybe, but the spirit of the mind came back,

Then said, “Love never cursed you, Love never will,

If it did, the homeless will be sleeping hungry in the cold”.

No more cold in my nerves I felt,

As I can feel that heavenly love, from inside.

 

 

 

 

The video, Elton John’s Rocket Man… good mix of other scenes… recently someone told me her favorite song of Elton John is this song… I was looking for this video and found it in Youtube.. enjoy.

 

There is an ice storm brewing outside. I am at my brother’s home, working from home. I should be going back probably by the end of the week. But it is wonderful here, watching a big HD T.V and eating junk food (with each bite of it I can see it getting converted into fat and wrapping around my waist) and working. If I can work like this forever.. wow.. what a wonderful life it will be. Well I think I should get back to office, life should not be that wonderful, I’ll miss, yelling at people, going out for lunch, and gossips and office politics.

 

The poem.

At some part of the day, everyday I just sit and think. The thoughts go through many different things. Some of the thoughts are very unreal. In many ways those thoughts are ridiculous. After one of those thought processes I literally laughed at myself for even thinking about some in a particular way. Then I wrote this poem. Who that person is what I thought about that person is the topmost secret in my life.. .. naaaaaa I will never tell.. hehehe.

 

Enjoy

A Little Lie.

 

The rays of the evening sun said farewell,

With a light cool wind that came,

Over the dying flowers of last days of summer,

And filled in the nature, scents lost in the warmth.

 

Oh’ how silly to even think about her,

For another time, when inevitability long time back spoke,

Oh’ still a story weaved in mind that told a dream,

The story of love, the story mind loved.

 

She walked in tunes blown into her ears,

She spoke in the language of the heart,

She lived in a small town far, far away,

Felt her heart so near, such was the prettiness of her soul.

 

In the depth of her heart she felt,

The love of a man, whom she knows not,

Only from far he looked, only his words she heard,

Still she loved him from the depths of pretty soul.

 

On a day when nesting birds left,

When wind lost the cold and gained warmth,

He said in his words, his mind and his love,

In the happiness she felt all she forgot.

 

Days of love filled with beautiful smiles,

Nights of love filled with wonderful dreams,

Sleepless then both remained and showered each other,

Words of love, songs of love and in rhythms unknown,

They both danced hand in hand.

 

All her thoughts he knew, all his actions she read,

Every bit of each other they both felt,

In understanding so perfect as they never disliked,

Any thoughts, words or actions of each other.

 

Nothing stopped them from asking each other,

The formalities of society and a happy day to reckon,

Then forever they remained in happiness,

Vowing to each other the soul of each other.

 

The story was told in many different ways,

In different circumstances and scenarios,

Though many faces seen in each others lives,

Still in the depths of heart, her smile remained.

 

But a truth known in every thought of her,

That none of the thoughts should ever become real,

But still love to think and in soliloquy tell,

A new tale about her love though I know,

It is yet another little lie.

I have toconfess, I really did a lot of bad things in the recent past. Things I neverthought I will do in my life. I laughed at it all because the anger and vengeanceI felt otherwise would made me do things that would have consume the whole ofme.

    Someone I know told me, do not make ascapegoat of yourself and advice me to edit the following poem to take eventsout of the poem. I did.. It is just a reference of what I felt for her. In away there is only a skeleton of the original poem that is here. There is not alot I am going to say about this girl. She is not a bad girl but among a lot ofbad people. That’s all I can say. In a way I was defeated and I couldn’t helpher at all. Even though I regretted the retaliation I did later. It took a fullmonth of meditation to gather myself. But I still regret it all.

 Here she is

Izabella.

Vast is the outer space, Oh’ empty it is not,
Giant planets sparring through space at higher speeds,
And smaller stones and dust flying around uncontrolled,
From among those went astray a piece that attracted,
Towards the green and blue planet, beautiful from far,
But wild as the small piece came near and near.
Entered the realms of beauty and love unknown,
To everything out there, the lands where love takes the walk,
Oh’ never reached the land of love,
Lost every bit of it in heat and fire that consumed,
But became the invisible vapor that shower upon,
Unknown to where, the stone loved to fall and roll
 
                                     One
Darkness crept through the valleys of mind,
And there seems no end to the silence,
Fear purified in the emptiness left,
After unrealistic feelings of love left me astray,
Then sleep came to me as the greatest boon.
Woke up hearing the all I heard the mind said to me,
All through life all in a second and gone away,
Then I saw the pretty face upon my screen.
Oh like the clouds deny the beauty of the stars,
This digital magic takes away the charm of all beauties,
But from her eyes came like glow from a distant star,
That penetrates every cloud and reached my heart,
And to her I succumbed my love and to her I surrendered my verse,
Never asked her name, nor where she is from I asked,
The truth I read though little glitches in my mind I felt.
Oh’ those unknown dark feelings melted away in the smiles of her.

                                    Two
My days of sleep she took away,
Still, woke up with an empty mind, I thought,
But with every stroke of the clock the pleasantness I felt deepened,
Upon the recliner with closed eyes I sat,
Oh’ the silhouette of you left in my mind,
Took a life of its own murmuring words of love
And care unheard to mankind.
Be it my belief, be it my talks of sarcasm,
All the irony in me she turned to jokes,
And laughs of her and mine heard like a lot of falling pearls.
Though her mind swayed in the bitterness of her work,
The mocking folks and hungry sex scavengers,
In me she found the gathering of her minds peace,
And to me in gratitude she gave all her love.
And to her from the depths of my heart I said
A thousand feelings in the past passed me by,
A wonderful dream in your shape took birth,
Though the reality in all ugliness may haunt us,
But never will forget to leave,
A wonderful kiss upon your lips.

                                Three
The jealous minds who know the love of us,
Oh’ they spied upon every word we said,
And in their dirty minds they conspired,
To destroy the love in all purity in our mind formed,
Oh’ my dear leave all and take the plunge I told,
But trust I gave and ever with every bit of love she gave,
Further and further she fell, far, far away from my knowledge,
In my wrath to all those I avenged, none I left, none I killed,
But with their own life for them a nightmare I gave,
And waited in pain days and nights to hear a word from her.
The waiting that consume all my life,
All the bad thoughts and the darkness returned with all its fury.
Then into the depths of space on a warm night I looked,
With all the pain that felt once more I called her name “Izabella”
Across the sky with a flash and bit of a noise flown,
A shooting star breaking all my darkest thoughts,
With a smile back to my home I walked, knowing,
That little moment was all there was for her,
But never failed to write these lines in my mind,
Like the swish of a shooting star came,
Feelings of love for you, when upon your eyes I looked,
Oh the shooting star faded,
But you in my mind forever will remain.

In summer I met a guy online, when I was trying to have a conversation with a girl in a chat room. He is her boyfriend. This guy really shown me how patient one can be with a girl and what kind of spark one can have inside when love really hits you. We chat almost everyday and it helped me to know more about myself and I was able to help him through some tough times in his relationship with the girl through that I learned, that all I am now came from a moment of spark that took me into a plight. Even though it frustrated me many times to a level of clinical depression. That little spark I once felt with no shape and no face, lifted me up and shown me a path. It is very interesting some how I get a peaceful feeling when I listen to this song. I was looking for this video for last couple of days in my hard drive but looked like I deleted it accidentally, it gives me a spark inside of me. The reason why I was looking for this song was some one told me about taking Ballet lessons.. The dancing scenes in this video is really good and of course this song itself is ‘Electricity’.

Electricity

Music by Elton John Lyrics by Lee Hall Recorded for the musical Billy Elliot Included as a bonus track on the Peachtree Road 2005 reissue

I can’t really explain it, I haven’t got the words It’s a feeling that you can’t control I suppose it’s like forgetting, losing who you are And at the same time something makes you whole It’s like that there’s a music, playing in your ear And I’m listening, and I’m listening, and then I disappear And then I feel a change, like a fire deep inside Something bursting me wide open, impossible to hide And suddenly I’m flying, flying like a bird Like Electricity, electricity Sparks inside of me, and I’m free, I’m free It’s a bit like being angry; it’s a bit like being scared Confused and all mixed up and mad as hell It’s like when you’ve been crying And you’re empty and you’re full I don’t know what it is, it’s hard to tell It’s like that there’s some music, playing in your ear But the music is impossible, impossible to hear But then I feel it move me Like a burning deep inside Something bursting me wide open impossible to hide And suddenly I’m flying Flying like a bird like Electricity, electricity Sparks inside of me And I’m free, I’m free Electricity sparks inside of me And I’m free, I’m free Oh, I’m free

© 2005 WAB Management Ltd./Universal Music Publishing Ltd.

After all the bad,weird and crazy thoughts, my body told me… “I am sick and tired of you” and most of the girls I bothered prayed to God, please take him away.. God said, he is not that bad… just a little unwell…and God gave me flu.
    Well I am getting well, at least I have a new hobby now, take care of myself. Work is crazy, maybe because there are no pretty looking girls around or maybe I am in the wrong place or maybe I just don’t find it interesting as there are too many things to do which I’ve been doing for a long time now. Maybe I need a change from computer programming to something else. mmmm well I don’t know anything else to do.
  See, no matter how much I run I will get back to the same point. I did not wrote much during the sick days. Well sorry for making a lot of people wait, one even told me in a comment, her frustration. You will see that poem soon.

A really crazy day, I just don’t know where it started, I was late in the morning for a meeting, even though I reached office at 7:30AM. By about 10:30AM my head really started paining badly. Carried the pain all through the day. Someone at work tried his best to show me how he wants us to proceed as bottle neck after bottle neck we faced all through last month. It all went crazy as a software install on the Mainframe failed. It was around 8:00PM when I left work. Then I remembered one of my program that need to be installed in China have to be tested by the business user there. After a brief chat with a wonderful friend I logged into to get a great news, the people who added that user into the test environment did a bad job. She cannot access the system. I apologized to her and thought I can sleep well…. then I got the very bad news. My sister-in-law’s mother have brain tumor. My brother with his family is leaving to India as soon as possible as she is undergoing emergency surgery. My prayers are for her, hope you all pray too.

I am a man who keeps my words with a passion, but when it comes to situations when my hands are tied and those who care about me cannot be helped. It just tires me down. Very sad …