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Mo Cuishle,
     As you might’ve read in my pervious post. I am
changing the subject of my poems from mere hypothetical scenarios to
more realistic ones. I don’t care who reads them but for you it will
not be suitable. You will see another side of mine than you ever
imagined. You will also understand that I am not a very good person at
all.  I am not going to tell ya what you should do. Not all poems
will be like the one you are going to see tomorrow. You always can
unsubcribe and go away. I will not feel bad. Okay.
 Once more my apology for being rude in my comments on your
pictures. Such a sensitive person like you may not like my new poems at
all. 

Have a great weekend.
Riaz Ahammed.

Yesterdays, yes, these poems can have anything in it, humor, sadness, romance, sex,anger, frustration, happiness, politics etc. It is all not going to bevery good, as I will not show any hesitation in saying whatever thatcomes into my mind. Everyday I will write a poem about yesterday withthe date of the day I am writing about. The content may have realevents I have gone through, events I have heard or read about. It maynot be appropriate for people of all ages. I am not saying any excuses,as I hate excuses. I used to be a caring man… not anymore. When I wasflying from Philadelphia to Albany on my way from Chicago, the smallplane went through severe turbulence. I thought “Oh boy, is this it?Then I said in my mind, if so, please don’t give me a lot of physicalpain to end it. At least end it fast and painless.” I regretted thethought later. Then I thought mmm I myself don’t like me living anymore. Sad,but it is so true.

To comment on any of these poems, please visit LonelyPoet.Com, allthese poems will be posted in the “New Poems” forum there. It is notnecessary for anyone to register in LonelyPoet.Comto comment on my poems there. If you comment there please use the samexanga user name so that I can locate you easily and comment back. Ifyou comment there you will get a comment back at your site. Otherwise,just read and enjoy my works here itself.

Salty streams, down the chins they flow,
And crawl like a worm down through the sides, tickling,
As the sun powered through cloudless day unopposed.

Young teenagers to make a sale at the lemonade stand howled,
Sun lustfully glazing through bare-naked shoulders and legs,
The summer afternoon with music filled,
Many bodies by the cold bubbling beer cooled.

Oh’ why all love to be in this terrible hell of heat?
My first thought was against what majority loved,
All day in the shade I stayed and at the end away I walked,
In the walk, mind through the day wandered,
Not upon any thought for long staying,
The yearning to be something, somewhere made breathing hard,
The whole body and soul through suffocation squeezed,
The walk and then a shower, still mind in confusion unrelieved,
As the realities only intoxicated a little more,
The feelings I know I must let go,
But they like cancerous cells only pained more.
Though pain from depths of soul through heart felt,
The Angels of sleep were kind enough,
To take the light out of my eyes.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

mmm Recently I wrote a poem “Turning Off A Light”, you know what, Ire-read that poem many times, and I now know, that was the turning offof something more. Yes, I don’t think I can write about love or romanceanymore. I will only write about what I live through, and I don’t livethrough any love or romance so it is hyper hypocricy if I write aboutlove and romance. I never thought I will turn myself off like this. Itjust happened that way. There are people who believe that everythinghappen for a reason, whatever is the stupid reason for my existence issomething unknown to mankind. In all probablity none will ever know it.Anyway, I don’t want depress anyone with my own depression haha… I amgoing to think deep and more deep to figure out what subject I shouldwrite about from here on. It is tough, but I will get the better ofthis. Life is my enemy, I will defeat it and conquer it and then I willlive it in “My Own” way.

Five days and nights of partying and being with friends Iknow really, really helped me to get back to square one. Literally I went backto where it all started. Milwaukee,wow what fun we have had. Summerfest rocked the first three evenings. Lateevenings and nights were spend in different nightclubs, Ladybug, Rain, Cans,Taylor’s and partying at my friend Nitin’s place. Three Indian girls joined usfor the party. I don’t like Indian girls… period… nothing personal about anyonein particular. One of the girls and my friend Deepak got really friendly… toofriendly… so as I agreed earlier that I will not say “No” to anything. I agreedto myself and others. It was fun but we would’ve had more fun without thosegirls. Nitin got a date this great girl called Michelle one of the two faces Ireally remember from five days and nights of fun. I look at people who showtheir beauty through eyes and speak from the heart. Even though I did not spoketo Michelle, through Nitin I now know she indeed is a wonderful person. I willspeak about the second face a little later.

  All American Rejectswow they rocked well and by the end of the concert me and Nitin lost our voicecompletely after screaming for more than an hour. As usual we reached theconcert area late and me and my boss and best friend Prabhakar, pushed our wayinto the middle of the people. It was easy as most of the crowd were kidsaround the age between 16 and 20 none of them was in anyway a match for twowild fat guys… haha.. The next day… we went for the “Soul Asylum” concert thistime I told Deepak to take the camera and take some pictures of the band. Theseguys are as fresh as they were ten years ago. Here again we reached the concertlate mainly because of me as I fell asleep and spend nearly an hour and half tofinish my shower. But I did not missed one of my all time favorite songs“Runaway Train”. (I have the old music video of this song in my IPod) It wasgreat. Then we went to see “Joan Jett and the Blackhearts” another wonderfulperformance. She is a little girl but boy she can scream through every cornerof her body. I love it.

  In all I might haveslept about six hours of sleep in five days. I am tired and need a lot ofsleep. We guys have at times away from the Indian girls had lot of “Guys” funalso I don’t want to give any details about it. Go figure haha… my problem allthrough the time was feeling sleepy, my friends mmm drunk to their ass that’swhat I can say. I was always the designated driver but in another way I wasmore dangerous than those guys as I have the habit of falling asleep whilesitting in a chair. But we were all cool.

  On Monday July 3^rdwe were at the nightclub Rain wow wonderful place with great loud music. Idon’t really talk to drunken people as I know they may not remember what I sayand I won’t be able to hear what they say. Here I found the second face thatstuck in my mind. Rachel, that’s the name she told looked very intelligent andof course beautiful. She was just standing near the bar counter looking at me,I was surprised as very little people look at me that way. I went to her andintroduced myself and we were talking about each other. In the meanwhile one ofthe Indian girls with Nitin came to me and told “Let us take a picture” I toldRachel one second and told Nitin to keep the Indian girls away from me. I turnedaround and Rachel is gone to thin air. Literally, I looked for her all throughthe nightclub without being able to find anyone even close to her looks. mmmm Ionce more cursed the entire womanhood sparing my mother and sister and walkedout of the nightclub. Whoever she is, she will be remembered. That’s me… theemotionally hyperactive poet. Haha… well…. There were others I met at differentplaces, Christine and Holly mmm that’s what I said earlier… it was guys fun andI am not going to go into the details about it. Now I am back in Albany… as usual I don’thave my bag with me. Even on the way to Milwaukee,I missed the bag in Chicago.Well… its all part of the fun, that’s how I take it. Milwaukee summerfest 2006 is something thatwill remain in my memory for sometime I really wish I were there for the wholetime. That’s what I decided in the end. I officially asked my boss and friendto get me a job in Milwaukee.Yes, now I know where I will settle down. After nearly nine years of vagabondlife. I decided it is Milwaukee, Wisconsin where I will nestaround.

This is me watching the soccor match between Brazil and France.

From left Nitin, Deepak, Prabhakar and of course the sleepy me.

The Soul Asylum concert.

Soul Asylum Performing Runaway Train.

Me and Nitin with three Indian girls. Two of these are twins and thethrid one Sunita second from right ended up being the best friend of mymy friend Deepak. The twins names are still confusing to me, ones nameis Mansi and another Bensi. Who is who I don’t know. They asked me whydo I hate them I told “Nothing personal, I just don’t like them allthat’s it”. I was so tired of dancing and right after this picture Imissed one of the best person I’ve met in Milwaukee. I was so muchpissed off I stayed away from these girls the rest of the night. That’sme…

Hello All,

    I think most ofyou my readers already know that my poems are getting published in a book. Thefinal draft of the book was submitted earlier today. In all 192 poems in threedifferent chapters are there in the book. Even the latest poem made it. Iwanted to submit the draft before I take a break. I am going to be in Milwaukee, WI,starting tomorrow. I will be there through July 5^th. Most of theafternoons and evenings I will be at the summerfest. Late evenings and nights Iwill be out partying with my friends. So woohoooo I am out for a long weekend.

   Those who want tosay anything about my latest poems better say it now in LonelyPoet.Com as allpoems will be moved out of the website by July 8^th as they are allgoing to be part of a book now. Pray for me my family and friends.

You all have a wonderful long weekend ahead.
LonelyPoet.

The context for this poem is real. Even though I first saidthere are no hard feelings for me. It is not easy but I am sure time will healme. This looks like the “Turning Off The Light” forever. Never will Iattempt anything like this again. There is none to blame in this. It is just Iam so unfortunate in the matter of love that’s all.

Turning Off A Light.

With hands upon his heart he prayed,
For the love of her, whom he loved,
Then with faith, he loved her more,
As, seen a candle light far,
Even in the flickering light he saw,
Far sight of the days to come,
Wondered about the magnificence,
Of a future filled with understanding,
And the love of that understanding,
Of each other in the celebration of life.

Oh’ in penance towards love he walked,
As the light from the candle was bright enough,
Though stale everything remained,
Some faith undefined always told,
To gather every bit of himself in perfection,
And piece together the jigsaw puzzle in front.

Illusion in the dim light guided,
The puzzle piece by piece together he finished,
To see the face the candle he raised,
But those eyes no longer at his eyes looked,
As far back to her own past she fell.

Waiting is one thing he hate,
Hating is one thing, to him unknown,
Oh’ he ended up waiting and waiting,
But hours later she is gone he known.

Oh’ alone with the flickering candle he stood,
Perplexed at uncaring gestures,
Then the candle and its light he turned off,
Plunging himself into scary silence,
And nightmarish darkness even in the soul filled,
He waited for a moment and walked,
Unknowing what direction is his move,
Knowing well, directions don’t matter,
When everything is with darkness filled.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Thanks again for the wonderful well wishes. Today when I woke up I was
more than half relieved. I am not usually like that I will be down for
long periods of time. From her behavior I was kinda getting the message
clearly she is not what I expected at first. Well… like I said in a
poem and its intro called “Jigsaw Puzzle” she is still a mystery for
me. As for me, I just don’t want to bring in a puzzle into an already
complicated puzzle. You know what I mean. Okay… just thought I’d say
this. That’s all. I am at work that’s why this post comes so much
delayed after you commented. I forgot to turn off my PDA so in the
middle of the meeting it said “DOH…the mail is here” not a problem. We
are stuck here with no specific project plans at hand. In a nutshell
for the last three week me and my team members comes everyday morning
have a meeting in which we speak about baseball, basketball, soccer
world cup yada, yada, yada, rest of the day we just roam around the
office. There is nothing to do. So I will write a bit more as this will
keep me typing something.
  Last week I started my summer
evening walks, as this is a new place I walked through the road near by
and in about two minutes I reached a residential area. As I was
walking, to avoid any oncoming cars I stepped into the grass by the
road. I didn’t noticed there was a big pitbull lying in the plot near
by which the dog was guarding. The dog started chasing me. The dog only
chased me, it did not try to get close to bite or anything like that.
So the evening walk ended up with a sprint back to the hotel. Now for
the last three days my whole body is sore.
 As for the book… I
started reviewing the final draft, which the publishers sent me last
week. I will be submitting the final draft for text production before I
leave for Milwaukee for the long weekend. Then they will send me the
production copy for a 15 day review again to see if there is any typos
or other formatting errors. That also means I cannot add any more poems
after I send the final draft this week. In all after adding the latest
poem “The Canoe” there are 191 poems.
 So what’s up with you?
I thought you may post something but still what I see is “Grandma,
login” hehehe no offense, okay… post something when you get time. Both
my brothers loved the comment you wrote for my poem “Metaphors” and of
course it was a great relief after a long, long day yesterday. I love
it.

You came so close in figuring out the riddle. Yes I am stopping to see
someone I called the light. It is over with Jennifer. That’s what I was
talking about. Yes I do trust you. Well… my friends have become so
much ridiculous I know the result will be they will virtually kill me
when I visit Milwaukee Next weekend. You are the only one I could tell
anything about. I am so sorry if I confused you.
Have a great week ahead and thanks a lot for the good luck wishes… I needed a lot of those to get my mind steady.

You know how hard it is when one is not able to talk to anyone about
something. Even to you I don’t think I can really tell. Well… this is
not a game, but sure is a riddle.
 ” I have to turn off a light”
I hope you’d understand. Wish me good luck for my peace of mind.

My brother was given this picture and asked to write a poemabout what he thinks about the picture. He wrote… he writes in my mother tongueand shown me that poem. He asked me to write a poem in English about what Ifelt. I am using my usual style and flow to say what I feel about the picture.

The Canoe

The gruesome summer day flared,
When all those who hated the cold,
In the burn of the sun fried.
Every corner of the horizon filled,
With dark clouds as through the sea shore I walked,
Along the walk I saw a canoe fishermen left,
With the rising dark clouds behind, all alone,
A sense of helplessness lingered,
In my mind for reasons unknown.
Lonely walks through which mind always grab,
Old memories, those sights and sounds I left,
Far away in the land of mysterious warmth.

Oh’ long passed images flirted through mind,
And among those, one stood out,
Ashore, empty, left out she sat,
After long hours rowed and people she carried,
Some with fear, some fun filled,
Some never woke up from dreams,
Many weaved dreams when carried,
Oh’ the tired canoe upon the shore she sat,
With thousands of foots stepped upon,
All carried to safety, now none remembered.
The paddles once like the arms of a swimmer fell,
The arms that once held the canoe straight,
All darkened, as no arm touched them anymore,
As the new bridge took all away,
And the canoe was left out with none to touch,
Except mosses and algae and reptiles hiding,
As the blazing sun upon her fired,
Arrows of fire like a monster merciless.

The sun broke through dark clouds before his nightly plunge
My eyes I opened as the fires of the evening sun shown,
No mercy upon my face either,
I looked at the canoe once more and then back I laid,
Upon the soft sand on the beach with my eyes closed,
Knowing well that upon the canoe memories shown,
I once sat on a humid summer evening and weaved,
Looking at a pair of pretty eyes, a dream unfulfilled.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM