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 Wonderful rest I had on this holiday. I spent most of the timereading and writing a bit. I really don’t wanted to write anything. AsI thought I will take a break. Then I was thinking about how things canchange with one decision of person and how that will impact so manyothers. That is one thing I was always careful about when I do things.Most of you who read this may not understand what I am saying. As inthe age you all are in you can’t think about anything else but you. Iwas like that. But I am not like that anymore. Even though I say I onlycare about me very loud. I try my best not hurt anyone even withgesture or a look. Well… I have had profound success in doing so and ofcourse like every other man I’ve had my mistakes and failures. There isa price I paid with my success of not harming anyone by walking awayfrom many faces, gulping down the words that came to the tip of mytongue and turned away from the faces that in contempt looked at me.

I am alone.

I wrote a poem… some people may not like this at all. Well… I ampleased with this poem. If you don’t like it let me know what it is youdidn’t liked in this poem. I may re-write it a bit but I am not sure.If you don’t understand a part or the whole of it let me know at leastwhat you feel. So that when I re-write it I will be able to clarifymost of it.

The Real Saint.

The beautiful wonders he promised his own heart,
The lessons he learned in those promises unfulfilled,
Why did he shut his eyes to all that he left?
A negative force he became was all he earned.

The magical music he listened,
The wonderful words of love he never heard,
Oh why did he shut his ears to all the love he left?
All the positives of life he never heard.

Though all the negative he hated,
Life birthed and endured in every way,
Through the negative forces he always despised,
Oh’ why didn’t he shut himself up?
From all that consumed him.

Life away from the world five senses comprehend exists,
The world may offer no more love,
The negative forces through every vein tap dances,
That rebel inside counters every thing on the other way.

That which in negativity lived energized the way to positive,
The unloving world into the mind dissolved,
And all forces of nature became forceless tools,
In the hands of him for the betterment of the world.

Oh’ he looked back at the East when westwards walked,
Seeing the sun firing a billion arrows of light through the clouds so dark,
The whole universe before the micro microscopic human paused,
With a smile he welcomed a new morning when he offered,
All the love the world never known,
And everything in peace along with him moved.

A wonderful Sunday passing me by. I was restless all evening yesterday and half of the day today. Well now I am okay…

  I thought of doing many things in the weekend. Nothing happenedand there was apparent reasons for it. When someone I consider withhigh regard leaves I know it is something hard to endure. I thought itmay be because of my fault. But relieved I am as I now know I gotnothing to do with it.

  Well… I did not wrote much today. I thought of releasing thispoem in a book I am finishing. There are more poem than I expected. Myaim was to have 100 poems. But between November 2005 and today I wrote98 poems excluding the “Tess Of The D’Urbervilles” poems. All of thepoems may not be there in the book as is I’ve decided to re-write somepoems that are too personal. In all there will be 200 poems. The bookwas named long time back “Age Of Survival”.

Now this poem which I thought all will only see in the book I amposting it here. I first thought of posting it on Valentine’s Day wellI did not do that as none here told me those words towards end of thispoem on that day. Read it you will know.

Have a great week ahead of you all.

A Day Of Love

February 14th 2002, San Francisco. California.

7:30AM.

With the warmth of heating vent slept in comfort,
In the downtown hotel unknowing,
The day of hearts took birth far in the mounts up East,
Woke up from the bosom of my love,
Who without a word left.

11:00AM

The day matured with the busy life at work,
Phones sitting upon desk like dead frogs,
Mind in the logic of never ending lines of code,
And emails pouring in with the messages of more work,
Oh’ I wondered, if this day fell on a weekend day.

3:00PM.

My belly with Philli-Cheese-Steak lunch filled,
Coca cola kept me awake from falling asleep,
In the boring meetings of the monotonous work,
Oh’ flower for my sweet heart I ordered,
Long before the meeting room I left.
Never forgot to write a line of verse,
That goes along with the bunch of roses red.

6:00PM

Downtown moved faster than all day,
Out of office, to cross the streets I waited,
Streets filled with lovers of all kinds,
Straight and gay most of them walked,
With a smile and love all around blessing,
Everyone with a feeling of love and being loved.

7:30PM
With the beautiful flowers into the hotel in I walked,
To show the brightness of my love,
And fill her heart with my lines of verse,
And to feel the love of her.
Oh’ I wished for nothing else,
My heart swayed a bit about the wordless parting in the morn.

The door as usual took its time to open,
And walked I into the room with scented candle lights filled,
The great memory of mine all day forgot,
Like many, in the day of love busy thinking,
About their love like me,
Upon on the table a cake sat with candles in arrangement said,
“Happy Birthday, My Poet”

In all her glory she was sitting on the bed to share her love.

Mo Cuishle,
     You know why I don’t understand your decision to
stay away. I make a living using computers and internet. My whole job is done
through this. So being on Xanga or anywhere else on the web is just a past time
during my work. It may not be like that for you who spend most of the time
otherwise.

 Alrighty, I respect
your decision. I hope and pray whatever you do will be productive and will be a
blessing in everyway. Don’t worry like I said in my previous post. I will be
here and you are also free to comment on any post of mine.

I will comment on your Xanga, but it depends on when you
post and what you post.
I sure will miss your comments. I loved them. 

Life Is Complicated When One Acts Bad And Think About It.
Life Is Simple And Easy When One Think Right And Act Upon It.
LonelyPoet.

Hello,  Mo Cuishle,
     I said hello when you came online. I wanted to
ask you
this. Am I  the reason for you suddenly taking a break from Xanga?
Did I
said anything wrong in any of your sites? If so I am really sorry. Tell
me what
I should do. You were in Xanga before I came to Xanga. I don’t want you
to
reduce your visits to Xanga because of my comments. Okay, I really want
to see
you post back in Xanga and I guarantee you that I won’t comment at all.
Okay… I thought you enjoyed my comments and posts as you said in so in many
comments you left in my site.

  I wanted tell to you
that I commented for the fun of it nothing beyond that. Me insisting on you
commenting on my works might’ve been outrageous. I did that because I valued your
opinions. Don’t worry, the mistake was mine and I will not do that again.

  If the decision of
staying away from Xanga is not my comments then I understand
that.  This may be
just a guess in my heart that’s all. Please let me know… okay, I
never wanted to be a confusion in anyones mind or life. Xanga is a
place for girls like you as for me I have my own sites. I have gone
away couple of times. I came back because people asked me to. I will be
here, but like I said before I won’t bother you at all. This whole idea
of Internet blogging is for the fun of it, if there is no fun in it
there is no point in doing it at all. I thought you enjoyed it to the
fullest and suddenly when you said you don’t want to waste time. It
just did not added up in my mind.

For my peace of mind, please reply when you get
time. Because whether you believe it or not your good luck wishes
always worked for me. I don’t want you to have a bad feeling about
someone whom you blessed every ounce of luck of yours. If you don’t
mind once in while come and do that in my site because it truly works
for me.

The Signature Of A True Human Is The Smile He/She Brings On
The Face Of Others.
LonelyPoet.

WOW what a day. Awesome cold I loved walking around a bit. But then Ifelt too cold my nose needed saline spray to open up. Only 15 degrees….Brrr… but I love cold. That is the only thing I love in Albany. Otherthan that not a lot going on with me. A break from office. I thought ofgoing to New York City… kinda dropped the idea. I don’t want to upsetmy rhythm now. What is that rhythm mmm I thought I will write about itthen I did wrote. But that did not came out well.  Then Iremembered an old poem I wrote when I was in Milwaukee, WI. It wasinitially part of LonelyPoet.Com. I later removed it as it onlyexpresses a feeling and don’t have a real theme in it. Well… that’swhat I thought, what do you think?

If someone really want to know how I feel inside. Well… read the poem it will speak better than my prose.

Okay, my mistake. I did not give an intro the prose part ofmost of my poems that explains what it means. In a way I can add this introinto the poem but then it becomes yet another poem like any other poem writtenby any other poet. I am not just another poet on the web. Am I? I explained thepoem to limegreenideas this is what I wrote.

I wrote this poem in 1998. What I meant was I lost my loveand I don’t want anything connected to love at all. Even if it is sadness thatis going to replace in my mind. I will take that rather than the pain of loveor the wrath of love. The last line is a little different that from the wholepoem. How it connects to the poem is like this. If I can get rid of all thedreams, misunderstood thoughts and the fictitious expressions from both sides,my life will remain with the winning smile of the individual. That is me. Itwas written justifying why I call myself ‘LonelyPoet’.

Winning Smiles.

The cold wind felt warm upon my heart frozen,
The blisters upon my skin soothed,
When the frozen rain covered the cuts.

Oh’ sorrow, a word, with meaning lost,
Stretched inside my mind, lie,
Asleep after finding way into my mind in haste.

O sorrow, why you make the wind so cold,
Upon your arrival through every sense felt,
Even when the sun upon me, blazing.

Don’t know where the silver spoon from my mouth lost,
Peasant I am in words and deeds,
When heart stopped singing rhymes of deep felt emotions.

Dwell O sadness in my passions,
Scavenge my mind to the last thought,
For free I will be from the wrath of love.

Free I will be from the world of dreams,
Free I will be from thoughts misunderstood,
Free I will be from fictitious expressions.

Then glorified I will be with winning smiles.

Friday, a day started calm quite and warm. It was 56 degrees when I gotout at 9:30AM. I thought wow what a day. I should get out early andtake a walk around the hotel. Well from that point the day deterioratedbrutally, first came the clouds, then the wind then a bit of rain, thenthe wind started to cool down. It cooled down so much, when I got outof the office at 5:30 it was snowing haha. Well I a chameleon if snowis what is given I will take it. I was dancing in the snow flakes tothe tune of the Elton John song “Sweat It Out”.
  No panic for me only the weather panicked … I loved this day. Noissues popped up after yesterday evening chaos. I was thinking,thinking and thinking most of today. The reason…. Mmm the followingpoem. It started about couple of weeks back in mind as I thought ofwriting a funny poem depicting the events of my first trip from Indiato United States. But when thinking about a way to bring those eventsto a poem I wrote these “throw away lines” which made me a think a lotand brought back a lot of memories. So the down time I’ve had camealong with this poem. I know I need to finish this poem to get out ofthe bad feelings. Here is some information about the way I write. Ifirst start with a phrase or sometime it is just a word that connectsme to some event or idea from my life or someone else’s life I’ve heardor read which had a profound impression in my mind. Once I get the ideaI write something I call a rough draft. Which is a mechanical effort tofigure out what I should write. Then it is a play in my mind oremotions to get it all into my heart than in my brain. This is wherethings can go wrong with me personally. Many poems I throw away asemotionally they become a burden for me. Another thing that can gowrong is if I am writing about a girl usually there won’t be a girl infront of me. So from internet or magazines I select someone as kinda amodel. That will become another problem. I am not going say anything indetail about it. I did that while I started writing “Tess” well I amkinda still messed up with that.
 This one came way close to be thrown out. Well by today afternoonI found an end that I thought this is worth the effort of two weeks ofthinking, thinking and thinking. It is a long weekend. I hope everyonehave one or another plan for this weekend. May it become the best foryou in the next three days. I love you all. Have fun.

I found this picture above from the public domain use it if you want to.

MyConfession

The warmth and mystery by a billion kept,
Countrymen(1) who boasts about uncouth sanctity,
When their women worst than the worst prostitute act,
Behind closed doors and dark alleys.

Then there were the men who themselves call,
Patriots and brave when where nothing but pawns,
In the battle of politicians and money mongrels.

In the hypocrisy of life fed up,
And from the verge of hatred saved myself,
But before I left the birth land, declared I,
“Oh’ no boundary drawn by men can bind me,
To a piece of land upon this Earth so vast.
Philosophy by stoned men upon leaves wrote,
Cannot teach me patriotism and bravery,
My bravery is in loving not murdering humans”.

“You should not leave your motherland” said many,
For which I replied in arrogance,
“No land can show the face of my mother,
No wind can sing the rhymes she sung,
No warmth of the air can replace warmth of those hands,
I will only add the word ‘mother’ to the name of my mom”.

Then came to the land of wonders unheard,
Where illusions out numbered reality,
And from my life I erased the word, morality,
Though it showed up in bright colors again and again,
With a smile I ran after every bit of pleasure on Earth.

Though once in a while like a teenage girl, I whine,
About losing love, money, job and becoming a vagabond,
Deep inside the corner of my mind a smile blossoms,
As I play the drama of life with the script I wrote,
Long time back when everything needed given,
Even before, I wished in my mind,
There was only misery from my life I missed,
So I needed to add that to complete my life.

Every misery that came upon me,
Had the dark ugly hands of mine played,
A deck of card upon my own choosing.

But now everyday in wonder I question,
Myself, why I missed to add?
Another pair of hands I can hold on to,
Another mind I can listen to,
Another heartbeat that can rhyme with mine?

May be that part of this comedy,
Is up to her to write and finish.

(1) I was born and brought up in India. A country with the population of nearly a billion.

I haven’t really updated for some days. Work, room, room work life isas stale as possible. Not a lot going on around. Just now talked to myfriend Deepak to whom I left a wild message when he forgot to call meon my birthday. We are planning to get together in Milwaukee on March10th and the weekend after that for the Bachelor party of one of ourfriend. It is all still up in the air as no one is sure about howvacations are available. I myself is not sure where I will be as mycontract which is extended for a month will expire on March 3rd so Icannot book a ticket now from here. Psssst what an uncertainty. I willprobably know the deal with the contract next week after the longweekend.
 Well Torino is consuming most of my time. The American sisters inthe Curling team are really pretty. Haha I love Olympics. I’ve beenhearing, reading and watching Olympics from the age of about seven. Ilove it all, both winter and summer.

Now here is a poem I started writing couple of days ago. I don’t knowhow many may be interested in this or even like it. I want yourfeedback. This poem is written with these two guys in the photo belowin my mind. They are my nephews. Omar Farooque Minty and MuswaddiqueAhamed. Omar is the elder one my only sister’s son now 19 andMuswauddique is 11 in Kansas now my brother’s son.
Enjoy.

Advice To MyNephews.

The human nature allow errors of all kinds,
And we when young, commit a whole lot of them,
The years after childhood days,
Comes too fast at you from within and all around,
When all the past looks childish as it is,
And the elders and everything ahead, perplex,
Mind in mysterious frustration to despise,
Oneself being in the middle of it all.

The elders don’t do justice at all,
As what they have gone through, they forget.
Stereotyped in the negativity of a life despised,
The first years of the trials of all that learned,
In the childhood and adolescent years,
Becomes and experiment with trial and error,
That which needed which already in the wisdom, forgotten,
But from millenniums old mistakes learned,
And in never ending turns wandering,
Licking the burns and bruises.

I, I, I, all always scream in agony,
Why, why, why conscience always query,
Oh’ all the selfish thoughts that boggles mind,
Stretching mind into every corner,
In the meaningless competition of the human race.
Hatred fills in mind in the mere wish for survival,
Many lives consumed by tools of intoxication,
Many others in the disconnected brain cells degenerated,
Men and women have became maniacs,
The vultures of evil many are, waiting the rest to die.

Oh’ I don’t need to look back at my own past to remember,
As every movement I see around a repetition I have seen,
Every word I hear a curse I learned from my past repeated.

Reach, out of your own shackles and chains,
Never let the matrix of life bind,
To obligations that draw boundaries,
To every dream in this material world.

Lead your conscience to the light of love,
As every moment of yours means,
A word in the mystery of life,
Make every moment part of a line of verse you weave,
And gather it all as part of an epic poem,
The world will chant as prayers, forever.

Hello all,
   I forgot to say the last survey was a survey and at least two have started reading it as poem and got really confused. I apologize for that. Here is another survey courtesy to Mo Cuishle.

Don’t worry poetry lovers, I will be posting a poem later in the evening.

Alrighty.

I have lived through 86 things out of 158

[1] I have read a lot of books.
[] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[] I have been to Canada.

[2 ] I have been to Europe.
[3] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[] I have been snowboarding/skiing.

[4] I have played ping pong.
[] I swam in the ocean.
[5] I have been on a whale watch.
[6] I have seen fireworks.

[7] I have seen a shooting star.
[8] I have seen a meteor shower.
[] I have almost drowned.
[9] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.

[10] I have listened to one cd over & over & over again.
[ ] I have had stitches.
[ ] I have had frostbite.
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there
[11] I have stayed up til 2 doing homework/projects.
[12] I currently have a job.
[] I have been ice skating.
[] I have been rollerblading.
[13] I have fallen flat on my face.

[14] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[15] I have been in a fist fight.
[16] I have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight.
[17]I have watched the power rangers.

[ ] I do attend Church regularly.
[] I have played truth or dare.
[18] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[19] I have already had my 17th birthday.

[20] I’ve called someone stupid. And meant it.
[21] I’ve been in a verbal argument.
[22] I’ve cried in school.
[ ] I’ve played basketball on a team.

[] I’ve played baseball on a team.
[] I’ve played football on a team.
[23] I’ve played soccer on a team.
[ ] I’ve done cheerleading on a team.
[] I’ve played softball on a team.
[] I’ve played volleyball on a team.

[ ] I’ve played tennis on a team.
[] I’ve been on a track or cross country team.
[] I’ve been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[] I’ve bungee jumped.

[] I’ve climbed a rock wall.
[24] I’ve lost more than $20.
[25] I’ve called myself an idiot.
[26] I’ve called someone else an idiot.
[27] I’ve cried myself to sleep.
[28] I’ve had (or have) pets.

[29] I’ve owned a spice girls cd.
[] I’ve owned a britney spears cd.
[] I’ve owned an N*Sync cd.
[30] I’ve owned a backstreet boys cd.

[ ] I’ve mooned someone.
[31] I’ve sworn at someone in authority.
[] I’ve been in the newspaper.
[] I’ve been on TV.

[] I’ve been to Hawaii.
[32] I’ve eaten sushi.
[33] I’ve been on the other side of a waterfall.
[34] I’ve watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies. (In a ROW!)
[35] I’ve watched all the Harry Potter movies.

[36 I’ve watched all of the Rocky movies.
[] I’ve watched the 3 stooges.
[37]I’ve watched “Newlyweds” Nick & Jessica.
[38]I’ve watched Looney Tunes.
[] I’ve been stuffed into a locker.

[39] I’ve been called a geek.
[40] I’ve studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[] I’ve not studied at all for a test and aced it.

[]I’ve hugged my mom with the past 24 hrs.
[] I’ve hugged my dad within the past 24 hours. (Lol, I don’t have one to hug.)
[41] I’ve met a celebrity/music artist.
[42] I’ve written poetry.
[43] I’ve been arrested.

[44] I’ve been attracted to someone much older than me.
[45] I’ve been tickled till I’ve cried.
[] I’ve tickled someone else until they cried.
[46] I’ve had/have siblings.
[47] I’ve been to a rock concert.

[48] I’ve listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[49] I’ve been in a play.
[ ] I’ve been picked last in gym class.
[] I’ve been picked first in gym class.
[] I’ve been picked in that middle-range in gym class.

[] I’ve cried in front of my friends.
[50] I’ve read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[] I’ve played Halo 2.
[51] I’ve freaked out over a sports game.
[ ] I’ve been to Alaska.

[ ] I’ve been to China.
[ ] I’ve been to Spain.
[ ] I’ve been to Japan.
[52] I’ve had a fight with someone on AIM
[53] I’ve had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[54] I’ve had serious converstations on any IM.

[55] I’ve forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[56] I’ve been forgiven.
[57] I’ve screamed at a scary movie.
[] I’ve cried at a chick flick

[58] I’ve watched a lot of action movies.
[59] I’ve screamed at the top of my lungs.
[ ] I’ve been to a rap concert.

[ ] I’ve been to a hip hop concert.
[60] I’ve lived in more than 2 houses.
[61] I’ve driven on the highway
[62] I’ve driven more than 40 miles in a day
[63] I’ve been in a car accident

[ ] I’ve done drugs.
[64] I’ve been homesick.
[65] I’ve thrown up
[ ] I’ve puked all over someone.
[66] I’ve been horseback riding.

[] I’ve filled out more than 10 myspace surveys.
[67] I’ve spoken my mind in public.
[68] I’ve proved someone wrong.
[69] I’ve been proven wrong by someone.
[ ] I’ve broken a leg.
[ ] I’ve broken an arm.
[70] I’ve fallen off a swing.
[71] I’ve swung on a swing for more than 30 mins straight.
[72] I’ve watched Winnie the Pooh movies.
[] I’ve forgotten my backpack when I’ve gone to school.

[] I’ve lost my backpack.
[73] I’ve come close to dying.
[74] I’ve seen someone die.
[75] I’ve known someone who has died.
[] I’ve wanted to be an actor/actress at some point. (Got to be one…woo.)

[] I’ve done modeling/movie acting.
[76] I’ve forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
[77] I’ve taken something/someone for granted.
[78] I’ve realized how good my life is.
[79] I’ve counted my blessings.

[80] I’ve made fun of a classmate.
[81] I’ve been asked out by someone and I said no.
[82] I’ve asked someone on a date and been turned down.

[83] I’ve slapped someone in the face.
[ ] I’ve been skateboarding.
[84] I’ve been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend.
[85] I’ve lied to someone to their face.
[] I’ve told a little white lie.

[86] I’ve taken a day off from school just so I don’t go insane.
[] I’ve fainted
[] I’ve had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[] I’ve pushed someone into a pool.
[] I’ve been pushed into a pool

Now count how many things you checked and repost this as”I have lived through (number) out of158 things”

The true ones.

APPEARANCE
I am shorter than 5’4.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance. 
I Have/I’ve had braces. had.
Wear glasses/contacts
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.

FAMILY/HOME LIFE
I’ve sworn at my parents. 
I’ve run away from home.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I have children.
I’ve lost a child.

SCHOOL/WORK
I’m in school.
I have a job.
I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do my homework.
I’ve missed a week or more of school.
I failed more than 1 class last year.
I’ve stolen something from my job.
I’ve been fired.
I’ve skipped school.

EMBARRASSMENT
I’ve slipped out an “lol” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve peed from laughing.
I’ve snorted while laughing.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.

HEALTH
I was born with a disease/impairment.
I’ve gotten stitches.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.

TRAVELING
I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Mexico.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Japan.
I’ve Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Europe.
I’ve been to Africa.

EXPERIENCES
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
I’ve been to a casino.
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping.
I’ve played spin the bottle.
I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve met someone in person from the internet.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I’ve played chicken.
I’ve played a prank on someone.
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten Sushi.(Hated it big time)
I’ve been snowboarding.

RELATIONSHIPS
I’m single.
I’m in a relationship.
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’ve had someone cheat on me.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of commitment.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve cheated in a relationship.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

SEXUALITY
I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
I am a cuddler.
I love to flirt.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.           

                                                                              

HONESTY/CRIME
I am a terrible liar.
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game. CEILING!
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve run a red light.
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.
I’ve shoplifted.

DEATH & DYING
I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.(never hated this, I always respect the dead and pray for them irrespective of religious belief)
I’ve seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
I’ve planned my own suicide.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

MATERIALISM
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an iPod or MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.
I own something from The Gap.
I own something I got on e-bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.

POLITICAL/SOCIAL ATTITUDES
In general, I don’t like people.
I’m a feminist.
I’m very outgoing.
I listen to political music
I’m Democratic.
I’m Republican.
I’m liberal.
I don’t like Bush because he is dumb. 
I don’t like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
I am for Bush. Mostly.
I’m religious.
I dress fairly modestly.
My attitude is, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

 RANDOM
I can sing well. ( I used to sing well, Malayalam Songs, well 18 years of smoking almost killed me)
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
I watch the news.
I don’t kill bugs.
I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
I curse regularly. More so when I’m upset.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I’m a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I have “x”s in my screen name. 
I love being neat
I’ve had Spam.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
I know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate. 
I bite my nails.
I play video games. PC games.
I’m good at remembering faces.
I’m good at remembering names.
I’m good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
My answers are totally honest.

 I
used to play PC as well as Video games. When my nephew beat me once I
said “yeah time to grow up idiot” never played anything again.

 

I
am good at remembering names and faces but age is catching up with me
fast. I don’t know how long I will be able to keep up with the fast
moving world.

 

Even though I know what I need to do the rest of my life. It may change a bit. I am not sure yet.

 

Even
though I write a lot about love, I lost all my confidence in being a
good lover. May be my whole attitude is wrong. What the heck, I am
already 37… Like I said in a comment. I am too old for most women.
haha

 

I waited to see what happens today, Valentine’s Day…..haha. I don’t
know how many of you have noticed that it happens to be my birthday.
It’s okay, I know all will forget to say a birthday wish but end up
saying “Happy Valentines Day”. Anyway, I thought I will say it after
the day is over and it is officially over for me here in East Coast.

Here is a poem I wrote in my usual style. Enjoy if you can or call me a bad name and give your love a kiss.

Alter Not.

Alter not, O mind from the path, seen,
Though the face you saw still a shape in fog,
Dragging you away from where you want,
Alter not, as love in perfection seen in her eyes,
Alter not, in the contamination of any thoughts,
As another face seen along.

The meanings interpreted not,
As words means nothing to actions,
Give her every means to understand,
The depths of yours with love filled,
For her as who she is and will be.

Oh’ I sung those verses in many tunes,
To my own mind many-a-times,
What is love? I understand not anymore,
Among the many, many questions lost,
My mind and with tearful eyes I watch,
The remnants of a long lost winter wrath.

Are those tears of sadness for all the snow flakes lost?
Or a welcome happy tear for another spring time fest?
Oh’ my mind prepare to dance with the wind from west,
As the face from the fog takes,
The shape of a thousand dancing daffodils,
And tulips, and roses and jasmine, bidding,
To be in the eyesight of the love of a sweetheart,
Maybe still asleep in the passions of youth.