A Turning Point.

mmm Recently I wrote a poem “Turning Off A Light”, you know what, Ire-read that poem many times, and I now know, that was the turning offof something more. Yes, I don’t think I can write about love or romanceanymore. I will only write about what I live through, and I don’t livethrough any love or romance so it is hyper hypocricy if I write aboutlove and romance. I never thought I will turn myself off like this. Itjust happened that way. There are people who believe that everythinghappen for a reason, whatever is the stupid reason for my existence issomething unknown to mankind. In all probablity none will ever know it.Anyway, I don’t want depress anyone with my own depression haha… I amgoing to think deep and more deep to figure out what subject I shouldwrite about from here on. It is tough, but I will get the better ofthis. Life is my enemy, I will defeat it and conquer it and then I willlive it in “My Own” way.

Milwaukee Summerfest 2006

Five days and nights of partying and being with friends Iknow really, really helped me to get back to square one. Literally I went backto where it all started. Milwaukee,wow what fun we have had. Summerfest rocked the first three evenings. Lateevenings and nights were spend in different nightclubs, Ladybug, Rain, Cans,Taylor’s and partying at my friend Nitin’s place. Three Indian girls joined usfor the party. I don’t like Indian girls… period… nothing personal about anyonein particular. One of the girls and my friend Deepak got really friendly… toofriendly… so as I agreed earlier that I will not say “No” to anything. I agreedto myself and others. It was fun but we would’ve had more fun without thosegirls. Nitin got a date this great girl called Michelle one of the two faces Ireally remember from five days and nights of fun. I look at people who showtheir beauty through eyes and speak from the heart. Even though I did not spoketo Michelle, through Nitin I now know she indeed is a wonderful person. I willspeak about the second face a little later.

  All American Rejectswow they rocked well and by the end of the concert me and Nitin lost our voicecompletely after screaming for more than an hour. As usual we reached theconcert area late and me and my boss and best friend Prabhakar, pushed our wayinto the middle of the people. It was easy as most of the crowd were kidsaround the age between 16 and 20 none of them was in anyway a match for twowild fat guys… haha.. The next day… we went for the “Soul Asylum” concert thistime I told Deepak to take the camera and take some pictures of the band. Theseguys are as fresh as they were ten years ago. Here again we reached the concertlate mainly because of me as I fell asleep and spend nearly an hour and half tofinish my shower. But I did not missed one of my all time favorite songs“Runaway Train”. (I have the old music video of this song in my IPod) It wasgreat. Then we went to see “Joan Jett and the Blackhearts” another wonderfulperformance. She is a little girl but boy she can scream through every cornerof her body. I love it.

  In all I might haveslept about six hours of sleep in five days. I am tired and need a lot ofsleep. We guys have at times away from the Indian girls had lot of “Guys” funalso I don’t want to give any details about it. Go figure haha… my problem allthrough the time was feeling sleepy, my friends mmm drunk to their ass that’swhat I can say. I was always the designated driver but in another way I wasmore dangerous than those guys as I have the habit of falling asleep whilesitting in a chair. But we were all cool.

  On Monday July 3rdwe were at the nightclub Rain wow wonderful place with great loud music. Idon’t really talk to drunken people as I know they may not remember what I sayand I won’t be able to hear what they say. Here I found the second face thatstuck in my mind. Rachel, that’s the name she told looked very intelligent andof course beautiful. She was just standing near the bar counter looking at me,I was surprised as very little people look at me that way. I went to her andintroduced myself and we were talking about each other. In the meanwhile one ofthe Indian girls with Nitin came to me and told “Let us take a picture” I toldRachel one second and told Nitin to keep the Indian girls away from me. I turnedaround and Rachel is gone to thin air. Literally, I looked for her all throughthe nightclub without being able to find anyone even close to her looks. mmmm Ionce more cursed the entire womanhood sparing my mother and sister and walkedout of the nightclub. Whoever she is, she will be remembered. That’s me… theemotionally hyperactive poet. Haha… well…. There were others I met at differentplaces, Christine and Holly mmm that’s what I said earlier… it was guys fun andI am not going to go into the details about it. Now I am back in Albany… as usual I don’thave my bag with me. Even on the way to Milwaukee,I missed the bag in Chicago.Well… its all part of the fun, that’s how I take it. Milwaukee summerfest 2006 is something thatwill remain in my memory for sometime I really wish I were there for the wholetime. That’s what I decided in the end. I officially asked my boss and friendto get me a job in Milwaukee.Yes, now I know where I will settle down. After nearly nine years of vagabondlife. I decided it is Milwaukee, Wisconsin where I will nestaround.
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This is me watching the soccor match between Brazil and France.

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From left Nitin, Deepak, Prabhakar and of course the sleepy me.

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The Soul Asylum concert.

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Soul Asylum Performing Runaway Train.

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Me and Nitin with three Indian girls. Two of these are twins and thethrid one Sunita second from right ended up being the best friend of mymy friend Deepak. The twins names are still confusing to me, ones nameis Mansi and another Bensi. Who is who I don’t know. They asked me whydo I hate them I told “Nothing personal, I just don’t like them allthat’s it”. I was so tired of dancing and right after this picture Imissed one of the best person I’ve met in Milwaukee. I was so muchpissed off I stayed away from these girls the rest of the night. That’sme…

Age Of Survival.

Hello All,

    I think most ofyou my readers already know that my poems are getting published in a book. Thefinal draft of the book was submitted earlier today. In all 192 poems in threedifferent chapters are there in the book. Even the latest poem made it. Iwanted to submit the draft before I take a break. I am going to be in Milwaukee, WI,starting tomorrow. I will be there through July 5th. Most of theafternoons and evenings I will be at the summerfest. Late evenings and nights Iwill be out partying with my friends. So woohoooo I am out for a long weekend.

   Those who want tosay anything about my latest poems better say it now in LonelyPoet.Com as allpoems will be moved out of the website by July 8th as they are allgoing to be part of a book now. Pray for me my family and friends.

You all have a wonderful long weekend ahead.
LonelyPoet.

Turning Off A Light

The context for this poem is real. Even though I first saidthere are no hard feelings for me. It is not easy but I am sure time will healme. This looks like the “Turning Off The Light” forever. Never will Iattempt anything like this again. There is none to blame in this. It is just Iam so unfortunate in the matter of love that’s all.

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Turning Off A Light.

With hands upon his heart he prayed,
For the love of her, whom he loved,
Then with faith, he loved her more,
As, seen a candle light far,
Even in the flickering light he saw,
Far sight of the days to come,
Wondered about the magnificence,
Of a future filled with understanding,
And the love of that understanding,
Of each other in the celebration of life.

Oh’ in penance towards love he walked,
As the light from the candle was bright enough,
Though stale everything remained,
Some faith undefined always told,
To gather every bit of himself in perfection,
And piece together the jigsaw puzzle in front.

Illusion in the dim light guided,
The puzzle piece by piece together he finished,
To see the face the candle he raised,
But those eyes no longer at his eyes looked,
As far back to her own past she fell.

Waiting is one thing he hate,
Hating is one thing, to him unknown,
Oh’ he ended up waiting and waiting,
But hours later she is gone he known.

Oh’ alone with the flickering candle he stood,
Perplexed at uncaring gestures,
Then the candle and its light he turned off,
Plunging himself into scary silence,
And nightmarish darkness even in the soul filled,
He waited for a moment and walked,
Unknowing what direction is his move,
Knowing well, directions don’t matter,
When everything is with darkness filled.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

These Days

Thanks again for the wonderful well wishes. Today when I woke up I was
more than half relieved. I am not usually like that I will be down for
long periods of time. From her behavior I was kinda getting the message
clearly she is not what I expected at first. Well… like I said in a
poem and its intro called “Jigsaw Puzzle” she is still a mystery for
me. As for me, I just don’t want to bring in a puzzle into an already
complicated puzzle. You know what I mean. Okay… just thought I’d say
this. That’s all. I am at work that’s why this post comes so much
delayed after you commented. I forgot to turn off my PDA so in the
middle of the meeting it said “DOH…the mail is here” not a problem. We
are stuck here with no specific project plans at hand. In a nutshell
for the last three week me and my team members comes everyday morning
have a meeting in which we speak about baseball, basketball, soccer
world cup yada, yada, yada, rest of the day we just roam around the
office. There is nothing to do. So I will write a bit more as this will
keep me typing something.
  Last week I started my summer
evening walks, as this is a new place I walked through the road near by
and in about two minutes I reached a residential area. As I was
walking, to avoid any oncoming cars I stepped into the grass by the
road. I didn’t noticed there was a big pitbull lying in the plot near
by which the dog was guarding. The dog started chasing me. The dog only
chased me, it did not try to get close to bite or anything like that.
So the evening walk ended up with a sprint back to the hotel. Now for
the last three days my whole body is sore.
 As for the book… I
started reviewing the final draft, which the publishers sent me last
week. I will be submitting the final draft for text production before I
leave for Milwaukee for the long weekend. Then they will send me the
production copy for a 15 day review again to see if there is any typos
or other formatting errors. That also means I cannot add any more poems
after I send the final draft this week. In all after adding the latest
poem “The Canoe” there are 191 poems.
 So what’s up with you?
I thought you may post something but still what I see is “Grandma,
login” hehehe no offense, okay… post something when you get time. Both
my brothers loved the comment you wrote for my poem “Metaphors” and of
course it was a great relief after a long, long day yesterday. I love
it.

You Came So Close

You came so close in figuring out the riddle. Yes I am stopping to see
someone I called the light. It is over with Jennifer. That’s what I was
talking about. Yes I do trust you. Well… my friends have become so
much ridiculous I know the result will be they will virtually kill me
when I visit Milwaukee Next weekend. You are the only one I could tell
anything about. I am so sorry if I confused you.
Have a great week ahead and thanks a lot for the good luck wishes… I needed a lot of those to get my mind steady.

Turning Off A Light

You know how hard it is when one is not able to talk to anyone about
something. Even to you I don’t think I can really tell. Well… this is
not a game, but sure is a riddle.
 ” I have to turn off a light”
I hope you’d understand. Wish me good luck for my peace of mind.

The Canoe

My brother was given this picture and asked to write a poemabout what he thinks about the picture. He wrote… he writes in my mother tongueand shown me that poem. He asked me to write a poem in English about what Ifelt. I am using my usual style and flow to say what I feel about the picture.

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The Canoe

The gruesome summer day flared,
When all those who hated the cold,
In the burn of the sun fried.
Every corner of the horizon filled,
With dark clouds as through the sea shore I walked,
Along the walk I saw a canoe fishermen left,
With the rising dark clouds behind, all alone,
A sense of helplessness lingered,
In my mind for reasons unknown.
Lonely walks through which mind always grab,
Old memories, those sights and sounds I left,
Far away in the land of mysterious warmth.

Oh’ long passed images flirted through mind,
And among those, one stood out,
Ashore, empty, left out she sat,
After long hours rowed and people she carried,
Some with fear, some fun filled,
Some never woke up from dreams,
Many weaved dreams when carried,
Oh’ the tired canoe upon the shore she sat,
With thousands of foots stepped upon,
All carried to safety, now none remembered.
The paddles once like the arms of a swimmer fell,
The arms that once held the canoe straight,
All darkened, as no arm touched them anymore,
As the new bridge took all away,
And the canoe was left out with none to touch,
Except mosses and algae and reptiles hiding,
As the blazing sun upon her fired,
Arrows of fire like a monster merciless.

The sun broke through dark clouds before his nightly plunge
My eyes I opened as the fires of the evening sun shown,
No mercy upon my face either,
I looked at the canoe once more and then back I laid,
Upon the soft sand on the beach with my eyes closed,
Knowing well that upon the canoe memories shown,
I once sat on a humid summer evening and weaved,
Looking at a pair of pretty eyes, a dream unfulfilled.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

The Pearl

 A poem written after reading one of my own old poem. Thatpoem is called “Ocean Of Love”. I always saythis phrase “I will keep the love for you like the shell keeps the pearl” that’swhat I used as a context to say about my love and the love of the one I love.

Have a great weekend all.

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The Pearl.

Rain upon the vast ocean lashed,
Not a storm still the ocean in ecstasy roared,
The salty waves rolled its muscle over the shore,
And left dead weeds and algae from deep under.
Along came the bubbles in millions at a time,
All blown up by the drops falling hard from above.

Crabs running around with their mouth wide open,
Grabbing a drop or two of fresh water.
Broken Corals lying around helpless,
Unwanted even by the land upon which they landed.
Shells of fish eaten shellfish lie empty,
Oh’ those empty shells, life cut short for a meal.

Standing by the shore, I can only imagine,
The life of the shellfish deep under,
Years to mature then some may get dirt to irritate,
And that imperfection with a secretion covered,
Layer after layer the rest of the life,
The cover up of that imperfection make,
The purest of the pure from the ocean found,
Which as the ocean’s pearl we adore.

The streets with cars filled,
Through the city like veins in a body pass,
The milestones stood to show,
The distances passed,
The landmarks stood with memories,
Of the millions of eyes passed.

Oh’ how many faces through my eyesight passed?
Many turned their faces away distrust,
Many stared with suspicion,
So many hide behind the veil of lipstick and rouge,
There are those who cared nothing for their faces,
As none stared at their faces but,
At their half naked bodies with lust stared.

Oh’ how many of them made the imperfections of mine?
I don’t know, as life only spoke in similes and metaphors,
But when I stare at these waves unfolding,
Spreading through the soft sand shore,
Caressing my feet and shy away,
All those faces like the bubbles blown away,
As upon this imperfection layer after layer love laid,
And made the love of mine as the pearl of your heart,
Oh’ all impurities of my mind and actions washed away,
As the purest of the pure, my love for you became,
And forever in the heart of yours I’ll remain,
As the purest, priceless pearl of the vast of ocean of our life.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Metaphors

This is a poem I wrote when I was thinking about a girl whomI like these days. When she went on vacation I first felt it is good for herfrom her hard work. Now I miss the light around me. She indeed is the light Iwish to preserve with utmost care, perfecting every bit of me for that care.

missyredboots061

Metaphors.

A hundred praise of verse I may write,
About the beauty you are from inside,
And the beauty outside, though it is perishable.
Every poet may see his masterpiece in your eyes,
Even the layman’s mind will rhyme with your mind.

Oh’ when gathering thoughts I thrived,
In an undefined faith, unimaginable,
But all thoughts I gained about you,
Upon my mind painted visions, clairvoyant.

All my words, verses and echoes of my soul loving,
Seems went unheard or uncared.
Life in repetition buries joy unfulfilled,
Oh’ how many times I said,
That unconditional is my love for love.

There are challenges and doubts from you and I to us,
But will all the material advantages and disadvantages matter?
In the mind of the loving you, when with love you look,
At me and know me in material and spirit.
I asked to my own conscience when a loving feeling I feel.

The trees, birds, wind, sun, moon, stars,
Sounds, smell and every touch I write,
They all inspired me to be myself,
And express what senses in perfection feels,
Oh’ they are all metaphors of the depth of my love.

Though loneliness is a chosen path I took,
A while back as a loving heart that loves mine,
Became a myth and a mirage out of shape,
Every time your voice I hear,
Every time your face I see,
The mirage takes the shape of my love with your face,
The myth with all the fables becomes our biography,
Where every word chosen weaves,
A well written narrative of love and life fulfilled.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

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