Home Of The LonelyPoet

Friday came and Friday left, sunset I saw while driving by the vast Michigan lake. Two quarrelling sisters at home is not a wonderful thing to happen. But I literally fell on the floor laughing. The end result I fell asleep on the rug and they both slept in the two bedrooms on the first floor.

Saturday came, hmmm I don’t know when, but I woke up by about 11:00AM one sister gone.. the one who stayed, really enjoyed who I am. My anger management self therapy is great. I love myself more, I hate none, and I am not too lusty. The way I speak is more funny and people enjoy talking to me. I called the girl who stayed “sister” so it was a sex free weekend. She left after lunch and at about 2:00PM the other sister called and asked me if I am having sex with her sister. I told I am not in the business of having sex with girls half of my age.

She told “So you are looking for a girl around 30?”

I said “Sweetness, I am not looking for anyone, I looked, I found and I loved” then I took a deep sigh to swallow all the “F” words “C” words “B” words that came to my mouth when I thought about her friends. I smiled and said

“She didn’t looked at me, she did not found me and I don’t think she can ever love me”

Virtual sister went “Awww sorry to hear that”

I told “Good, good, there I talked the truth and you listened, now go and find a young boyfriend”

I hang up the phone and looked outside at my ever growing weed plantation.. When I say weed, it is wild grass not any marijuana. I thought I will get some more tools and went to Home Depot. It was very unusual for someone to come and ask me there, “Is there anything I can help you with?”

I told, “You can come and clear my backyard” he laughed and asked what kinda issues I have and I explained and shown a picture I took. I proposed a tool which I bought for $20. I also bought some house freshner which I can put into the air filter. My house doesn’t stink when I am not there so I needed some. At that time one of my old time friend with whom I came to USA. I promised him last week I will go to his place. I bailed out as it was getting late. I told him I will go to his place on Sunday afternoon.

Saturday night… no adventures or misadventures.. Sisters both called and I ended up conferencing them and it was fun to talk to them. Later I saw parts of different movies going on, on HBO and Showtime and fell asleep on the couch.

Sunday, I woke up seeing a bizarre dream. I am still analyzing that dream, so I cannot reveal anything about it yet. I ate breakfast and got ready and went to my friend’s place.. His private life I cannot say here. I came back home by about 6:45PM and sat before the T.V

Game of Thrones. Woooooo wooooo  I am loving the depiction of the story on screen There are some incredible developments and I loved the pace at which it is moving.

The Borgias… Another marvel from Showtime and I like very bit of that show.

Night I ate veggie pizza and slept Another morning of weird dream. This one was not that good either. In a nutshell I can say the message I got from this dream was, I am a good hearted person, but my actions hurt everyone I touch. So I may not really try to touch anyone anymore. The worst part, my own actions hurt me more than anyone else.

Have a great week ahead folks.. Love you all.

Lone.

 

Monday morning I asked myself, Do you know how love/romance works? I answered myself, it is all fiction man, all is fiction. Nothing ever happened in my life to say anything else. So I still took my pen and wrote and wrote and wrote all that came in my head. To a great extend it all looks, sounds and feels insane. Someone who is so focused on one person and writes and writes and writes then will come a word or phrase that he uses as a center point and then draws an image with words. No rules can stop him, or to say in another way no rules he should use to express what comes at that time. It is raw poetry. It is better for the verses to remain raw or the polish and shine he may give will change the felt meaning when it is expressed in a shined manner. Yeah, that’s how I write. I learned all the rules I can, before I decided not to follow any one of them.  

    The way I live is evolving. I used to be very angry then I read wise words and now slowly but steadily I am losing the habit of getting angry. How do I do that? I will not put myself in situations that make me angry. I am also learning to deal with ego, jealousy of any kind and the habit I need to get rid off bad language. Aaah’ Rome was not built in a day.

   Days flown away and almost everyday there is a feeding hand I love to see. She got a pretty hand too. There was one attempt I did a long time back, to get rid off the habit of dreaming. I became depressed.  Dreaming is good as long as it is only a dream. Reality is ugly, nasty and stinks beyond imaginations. Yet there are some who don’t understand the difference between a dreaming poet and a weeping lover.

Good Night and Good Luck my sweet friends, relatives and the one darling.

Have a great weekend!.

Lone.

 

I told this many, many times to my readers. If you know the style with which I write you will know the origin of this poem. If you can’t figure that out, read fast as all the poems in this site will be in protected mode editing. That will tell you what it is all about.
   I recently printed some pictures using my new printer. One of the pictures I printed was that of the model I use to write poetry. Most of these poems are hypothetical scenarios made with her in mind. When I printed her picture out and looked at it I automatically took the new pen I bought and wrote the following poem.

    Still it will take a life time for anyone to understand the truth in this poem.. The best part of that poet I used as a model? By the time she reaches the second stanza she will tell what the poem is all about. The worst part the poet I used as a model? Mmm I don’t think there is anything that bad except she thinks I am madly in love with her and all these poems I wrote are my real feelings. At least that’s what I think she is thinking. Hehehe.

   The LonelyPoet will remain Lonely. To be very honest with you, I only know how to write about love. I don’t try to earn love or love someone at a deeper level at all. That’s the truth.

 

Enjoy the poem

 

The Only Truth In My Life.

The dragging of my feet I felt,

Through the sands of beach none seen,

Where every bit of sand a dream unfulfilled,

Now under the feet of mine crushed,

Feet broken by your artistic transgressions.

 

A believer of your soul filled poetry,

A listener to your nightingale voice,

True faithful in the love with care you gave,

Ah’ your mockery of it all made a liar of me.

 

Yes, to my five senses I lied,

To every feeling they gave I lied,

To every one who sensibly listened I lied.

Ah’ I never loved you was a fictitious story to the world I told,

And I smiled along with those who smiled,

When deep inside a sobbing soul I held.

 

The magnificence of life all around us spread,

Time at me and you in mockery giggles,

Ah’ every moment to live more I pray,

Live more, to pray for you I pray.

 

Oh’ all my anger I left,

All my ego and pride I left,

All emotions through which many lies I told,

Oh’ left them all in penance for the ache I gave.

 

No more to the world I can lie,

No more to my senses I can lie,

My love for you is the only truth in my life,

And that truth forever will remain true,

Forever will remain true.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved 2012.

What a fantastic weekend… woot woot woot… Friday evening was all lawn moving and my mighty try to clean up my backyard where leaves of last fall is still sticking on to the ground. I call my backyard a desolate mess of addictive laziness. After nearly an hour of trying to get all the leaves out with a leaf blower then fork. I gave up and said aloud

“Leaves are good for the soil, let it all rot”

Saturday woot woot woot… someone unexpectedly came for a visit. All afternoon and evening went away like a micro second. Details cannot be given here as it maybe too explicit for kids.

Sunday morning visitor left I spent my time on the bed and later woke up had some sandwich she made and left for me on the table and looked outside and it looked as if a tornado is going to touch down. My neighbor wanted the tornado to touch down and destroy all homes except his, holding a quarter bottle whiskey he shouted,

“Riaz you lazy bastard cut all the lawn man, or I will cut it for you”

And he went away and later I saw him cutting another neighbors yard. I went out and shouted

 “Dude you are cutting the wrong yard”

As it started to rain he left his mover on the other yard and went back home. Alcohol is not a good thing but some people cannot live without it. None said that aloud but the echoes of the winds clearly said that.

Sunday evening, HBO, Showtime wooot wooooot wooooooot… Game Of Thrones is incredible. Like I predicted last year, the little girl who acts as Arya wow.. what an amazing performance. And in Showtime Borgias.. Oh’ c’mon the girl who acts as Lucrezia Borgia (Holliday Grainger) looked way too young to go naked. But it is an incredible story and the it is getting better and better.

Night went away without dreams. Answers never came, as no questions were asked. Time is not lazy, time is an untiring worker passing me by like an untouchable tempest.

You want to know about the survival of me during my 20s and early 30s? Here, this is where you can read it all. About 15 years were like 10 lifetimes. I am thankful to God for giving me such a fulfilling life and of course I have to thank couple of people who directly or indirectly inspired me to write. Then there is one person whom I chose as a model to write another set of poems but ended up much more closer than that emotionally and that circus to emotionally detach from her with poetry brought in more than 110 poems in this book. I sincerely thank her for her support and well wishes. Yes, now I can say I survived. This is not the whole story of the survival. There is more to come. The first of which will be made available next month. “Scent Of Spring” next part is “Flames From Frost” and the third and final part will be “Yesterdays And Romantic Feelings” which will be coming out in 2013 Summer. So busy time for me to write, edit and release books, as for you all start with this one.

Age Of Survival-Collection Of Poems

“There are no limits to what in your mind fills, Only one thing between you and me stands, A long dark shape filled with painful past, your shadow.” These three lines were what I wrote in my journal in different parts of a wild week. Then I elaborated on those three lines to make this poem.

The Elusive Shadow.

The potency of the essence of life to know,
Oh’ time many through their lifetimes spent,
To learn the ways all connect,
And the ways many disconnect through bare reality,
But the truth, the ultimate truth one learned,
When nothing of this world one understood,
Yes, that truthful moment when umbilical chord detached,
In pain or gladness none knows why one screamed,
The truth is, from then on, there are no limits to what in your mind fills.

From that moment of detachment one starts,
The search with passion and emotions filled,
To anything and everything to attach,
Some in pious gestures and words try,
Some with arrogance and anger ones own mind betray,
Some like pathetic mongrels moan,
Oh’ why ones own fate one should write,
When what one must do is to live what is already written,
Ah’ those unknown verses of fate known,
When soul of each other without any senses we felt.
 Still you know not what between us stood and now stands.

What darkness in your past spread I know not,
What in your eyes filled tears, I know not,
But from everyday of your past dripped,
And into a long dark silhouette became,
A shadow the world called,
But with all my love and then with material strength I failed,
To venture beyond that shadow who moved,
In the chaotic rhythms of a world with evil machinations filled.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved-2012.

 

A Poet’s View Of A Lost Lover.

Evade he cannot from the sunshine spreading,
And like a vampire away into darkness he ran,
Nightingales their last rituals they sang,
And the moon behind the curtains of day slept.

Warmth of the sun rays spring morn fought,
Fog like tap dancers up and down danced,
Ah’ the wonders of nature any poet can write,
The magnificence of the feelings so hard to express.
Yet, from the darkest corners the blooming morning glory he watched.

Silence he hated, darkness he hated, hiding he hated,
Oh’ all that he hated in his life, adored his life,
Melancholy gave rhythm to the tunes from his heart came,
And away with fog his dreams vanished.

Pain the poet can write, sadness the poet can write,
Ah’ the glory of love the poet can write,
What will he do when love is beyond sadness and pain?
Light he don’t want, sound he don’t want,
Scent of anything he don’t want,
And to touch even the Earth he walked permission to God he asked.
For he felt, without her love nothing else on Earth he deserved,
In darkness his senses he shut,
Oh’ the way he found to deal with the haunting pain.

Even when age, time and naughty nature from all around gnawed,
Still the spark in his eyes can be seen,
The spark even in the darkest part of the dark glowed,
The spark that glittered her face again and again filling his soul.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved 2012.

In my break time from Facebook and blogs I learned to Leave the ego, Kill the pride, Melt the Anger in love Never insult even for fun A smile increases ones life by three seconds so keep smiling even when sleeping.

Then last night I saw a dream… someone sitting beside me holding a printed copy of some poem I wrote for her and telling me “I am so sorry, one of these nights I am going to find some time and talk to you” That’s the second time I have seen her in my dreams in the last seven years.(last time I saw her in a dream I went out and prayed for her) So it taught me this The toughest thing to do is to live without forgiving. Apology accepted and I seek your forgiveness for all the things I said.

I love what I feel…. simplicity.

I am back as there is something I was having conflict within my conscience, I entered into peace and now I am a free man. I know one fact there is only one person who is going to feel bad about this peace, that’s me. But it needed to be done and I should have done this a long, long time ago. I procrastinated and paid a heavy price, physically, emotionally and spiritually. But there is so much I can wish for and there is so much I can do and then there is that one factor of what exactly I ‘need’ to go on. That ‘need’ over shadows everything else. I am only taking the air I breathe rest is all for you my dear. I got her into mind through manipulation of emotions. It is like a controlled fire. But there are times when that goes out of control and it did. What I did in recent days was just putting off the fire. So there is peace but without that fire, cold air will fill in.

   Day before yesterday night before going to bed I said.. “Welcome Back To The Fantasy World Of Lone, where everything means exactly as defined by the LonelyPoet because there is none else to define otherwise.” And I went to bed without much thought and woke up without much thought and lived couple of days without much thought and now writing this without much thought.

  There are many questions I myself don’t want to answer so please do not ask any questions and fill in the void where the fire was put off, with sadness, I am all set to feel the freeze in the blazing sun rays that will dance around.

The Signature Of A True Human Is The Smile He/She Brings On The Face Of Others.

LonelyPoet.

There is a girl who is trying to act like a bitch after spending times with bitches and bastards. Now here is what I can tell that girl. Even if you spent a 100 years with those bitches and bastards, you will not become one because the first man who truly touched your heart is me

She is blocked from entering all of my sites. If ever I see her in real I will go away. If I see her on the road side dying, I will let her die. If I am the one who is going to die and she offered help I would rather die than take her help…