Category: New Poems

Today July 7th 2013 summerfest officially got over but not summer.. Most of my early summer parties are done in a way I wanted. I basically moved to Milwaukee for the summer here. Watch the last of the so called ‘system of records’ embedded along. Beware, my language goes pretty bad towards the end. But that’s the way I can put many things as life itself is evolving into explicit chaos.

Well I am going to get the chaos into some order in the next one month. I have to do it, as one full month of fasting, meditation and prayers starts tomorrow.  When I come back to full fledged postings… well .. there probably won’t be a xanga for me to make postings. So this is it folks. I had one of the greatest time of my life as a blogger, I met great people and experienced some great readings here.. Good Bye Xanga as we know it.

 Yeah I thought of speaking about someone I met here.. but she is right now in a tent mixing music with another guy. Yesterday in my system of record drive show I told, I should have been the one in that tent with her, helping her to mix music. Life went in wild ways and made me wild and weird now I am sitting miles away. Am I disappointed? I was, not is, I will not be. That’s it with that.

 It was a great time during this summerfest, I enjoyed every bit of it. I will be back at the summerfest grounds for the 110th Harley Fest. Life goes on and the thrill of life is there in every moment of life. I won’t define that thrill ahead that gives life something extra, in the rights and wrongs of life. I love you all no matter what and hope I will get some in return and will be in all of your prayers.

Drive Live–System Of Record

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here are my Facebook Credentials

https://www.facebook.com/sajumon.ashan   (one can only follow me here as I have more than 5000 friends in this account. I will follow you back)

https://www.facebook.com/LonelyPoetCom This is my Facebook page. I will be concentrating my posts here mostly. 

This PoetryBox is Closed.

It is really sad to hear that Xanga as we know it is ending on July 15th. This was like a home for me. No matter where I was it helped me to keep some sort of sanity. I met some great people here. They all helped me to grow as a writer and thinker. Some little kids taught me great lessons some older people made me feel respected then there were those disgruntled folks who lost me in their own definitions. This is not the first tool to fall, BlogTV moved to YouNow and I left that site. Right now I really don’t know what to do with this PoetryBox, maybe I will close it.
Little more than eight years was filled with fun that was waved with smiles, tears and a lot of love. I will truly miss some of you if this ends on July 15th. You can find me on FaceBook. I clearly kept FB and this apart and told most of the FB folks to stay there and not to infringe into here. I can never forget Xanga as this is where I found my only true love.
This is not as simple as I may think

Silent Island.

The waves sang a song and rhythms gave,
For a dance none ever danced,
Glanced the world from all around,
A silhouette faded among the thickening fog.

Weaving dreams within the dancing fog,
The colors of love in those dreams filled,
Yet, the wonders of life in an uncouth reality lived
As silence crawled all the way into depths of mind.

From the kiss of sun small vibgyor bows sprouted,
Illusions, ah’ a parasite who ate mind and wild grown,
The crashing waves no match for the silent mind,
No more songs can be sung as dancer in fog faded.

In her eyes how love will be seen?
In her heart how love will dance?
In her hands how love will be mould?
In her ears how words of love will fall?

Unknown to mind who felt her touch,
And every touch of her a romantic fulfillment left,
In a mind where senses once more united,
And weaved within dreams, dreams that remained unfulfilled.

The drowning dreams stuck to the setting sun
Maybe on another day in those vibgyor bows may show
Taking life from smiles upon your faces I must try again to paint
Until that day this wanderer an island amidst roaring waves.

A silent island without your smiles that sure will implode

© RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved-2013.

What a fantastic weekend. Lot of fun, a girl I know said, “I am pregnant” All emotions in me froze and all senses trembled. Then she continued “Not yours” I took a deep breath and told “You will be blessed”. Then party with friends. Watched couple of movies on HBO and Showtime. I continued my vow of not smoking anymore. However by Saturday night I started getting all nervous and I thought my heart beat is going up. So took the electronic cigarette and smoked took a deep puff then I understood by mistake I bought the menthol one, which tasted pretty bad. I calmed down with some self hypnotic messages to myself (really thought if a “darling” girl were around to talk to me) ah’ that gave me some dreams, lot of flower and birds and full grown trees. Today morning my friend called me and told he will come for lunch. He came and took me to an Indian restaurant the food was not that bad. Then we went to see Star Trek. wow this is an awesome movie. I like this one better than Iron Man. Then when I came back home and sat in front of the computer I got this whole dream thing coming back to me. I smiled and said..

Collage Of Dreams.

A lilac flower gave a smile of love,
Touching her cheeks along the walkway walked,
Silly birds danced in the their flight leaving ripples,
Of air which swayed little flower.

Watching the grace of nature I thought,
Oh’ a wonderful female bard the bird maybe
As in a branch with puffed feathers she sat,
Tweeting in sweet sounds, sweeter than lilac honey.

The colors gently and gradually filled,
Mind to feel the gladness of spring,
The blooming flowers looked like yawning,
After a day long dance in the shining sun.

Leaned back at the tree all spread and stood,
And along with the nature I smiled,
Along with the spreading warmth I wished,
The frozen dreams to find warmth from her.

The thought of her thawed those dreams,
New dreams reflected all around the season of love,
Holding hands upon the heart I smiled,
And pledged all my love once more to her.

Far away she may be, but her senses close I felt,
Her mind like the mind in the color of the female bard I saw,
Gently and gradually filling with the tweets I heard,
Ah’ she the darling, the reality of the collage of my dreams.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM All Rights Reserved-2013.

I was in deep thought about my own love and honestly, I don’t know what to say. A million times I can repeat all that is said with the belief that something may change. I am not a competitor I never tried to be and never will try to be one. Then I thought if this is a story it will never end as the reality is a monster that will always try to reach the end too fast. For any reader this may not make much sense I just hope the sensible one will read this and write an epilogue of that story. My hope is with all honesty, sincerity and seriousness. That’s the idea in this poem.

Epilogue.

The sunlight shined with the love for you I felt,
The wind sang a new tune dancing with my love for you,
A new step, a new rhythm and a new line of verse birthed,
In the love of mine that wrapped the nature around you.

Happiness woke only when I think about you,
Then every moment a joy filled dance,
Ah’ happiness upon my heart danced,
With your image the only love I know.

Reality the monster try to tell a different story,
And to that story even reality knows no end,
For all the wrong of wrongs forgiveness I seek,
All your unkept promises ah’ your kindness erased.

The image of you ah’ her eyes with love filled,
A thousand misfortunes about how misfit I am I can say,
For that love, that filled every moment of you,
I can only wish I were the love you only loved.

At wishes and dreams reality mockingly laughs,
That unending story oh’ let that monster write,
Love me and write the epilogue no reality can write,
As the reality of my love always will be you.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved-2013.

This poem, the quoted part was written first on an image of a girl. I cannot post that image here as I have no permission to use her image. That’s the truth. I sent her the image and I haven’t heard from that girl afterwards. Like it always happens instead of understanding that it is a work of art not a message of love, this girl may never talk to me again. Her problem and her choice.
Now when I was thinking about that and was driving around I saw wild flowers in the wind and there came the first paragraph of the poem. Then I thought this happened a while back to me as another girl got totally lost in my poems. My mistake was there too as I got lost in my poems about her and felt love. The bigger mistake, my stubborn denial that it will be inappropriate for me. Well, looks like my thought about any romantic feeling from that girl is just hypothetical, so the poem is called hypothetical…

Hypothetical.

The dahlias in the wild with no help bloomed,
And the wind swayed them to show a pretty dance,
Memories like flashes of lightning back in mind flashed,
Rain like a lost wayfarer once in a while sprinkled.

Her image once more in a poem I weaved
And aloud to the world I spoke.

“Loveliness lashed like the wind in a summer noon,
And no one knew where from the wind came,
All around the nature looked
Oh’ very little of nature one can see,
As by the material world the spirit of nature covered.

Then in through the mind’s eyes I looked,
Deserts and seas, mountains and plains I saw,
Ah’ from none of those that wind birthed,
As every bit of sweat, the tears of hard life wiped,
And a comfort for all senses the wind became.

Silence in her dance withered,
Coolness with her touch all around spread,
Leaves of trees and tall grass with her touch giggled,
Touched souls and all of them she wrapped,
As I found every wind of summer from her love birthed.”

Though no sign of her anywhere around I saw or heard,
My own mind filled with love I myself don’t understand,
The wind through my mind lashed, ah’ I forgot to feel,
Then in apologies I laid back I and her image in mind painted.

Every bit of belief, faith, wisdom and skill I searched,
To find a lesser understanding that will kill her love for me,
All I gained is a better belief, faith and wisdom of strength,
Of her love for me and my unchallengeable love for her.

Then I gave up my thoughts to the angels of sleep,
Knowing the reality of my love for her
Unchallengeable in every world my love for her will fill,
Though her love for me is just a hypothetical thought of mine.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved-2013.

It will be the worst crime to fake love. What I truly mean is, deep in one’s heart one is connected to a person and go with another person in reality. It’s just not one’s own conscience one is molesting, it is the total destruction of two others too. There is only one question that can be asked at that point. Is the world worth more than 3 conscience and life? If that question is asked to me I will say NO. But I will lay down my life for the “one” who loves me.

No agents or spies will understand what exactly is the meaning of this. Only a true heart who loves me will understand exactly what it means. There is one.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved-2013.
Photo Courtesy www.stockphotosforfree.com

May 1st I had an all nighter damn. I still can do that. Well after the party I drove one of my friend all the way to Chicago and came back. It was a tiring day. The weather changed, seasons changed, my language changed as deep inside of me I am a brutal lover. Said that, you know what, I am a  human being who liked to be cared by someone. The one I cared Oh’ my God.. I don’t even know where she is  or what she does anymore. So much for my care. When I was driving back from Chicago I thought, she lives somewhere here.. And through the traffic I drove fast to get out of that place. Right after I paid the tolls I said “Let her go and fuck whoever the fuck she wants, I have to find a girl who wants to be with me” Then I looked at the mirror and saw a sad face than an angry face. What can I do? That’s me. Life can throw fireballs at me but nothing will burn me anymore. Then later in the day I wrote some stuff up it is not a poem something like a prose and talk and it is coming up like a very bad erotic story totally made up. Now at about 2:00 in the morning I know.. I have to sleep and I am going to sleep with a song in my mind “hate me now, hate me tomorrow, hate me forever” then I made up something like an after effect of that song.. “I don’t hate me, I don’t hate you but I don’t like all your friends and everything you love, I have to find a way to hate them and find new ways to curse them” Fuck I think lack of sleep is intoxicating me.

FUCK OFF WORLD.

There are many times I told about many poems I wrote. This is one poem I should not have written. I said the same thing in my mind the moment I finished writing this poem. I am trying my best to typecast myself to writing specific kinds of poems. My facebook friends abandoned the idea of following my poems. That’s their problem. No more 100s of views from there. No one told any reasons either.
Actually I should not have written this poem. I don’t know why. This kinda is the end of many thoughts that hit dead ends. I tried my best to find out a way to blame her for thoughts hitting dead ends. I cannot blame her at all. I cannot blame me either. I cannot blame the world and I cannot blame fate. What will be blamed for love filled thoughts hitting dead ends especially in my case. Hmmm I took the words ‘my’ and ‘I’ from the next thoughts that came to my mind and wrote this poem. When I finished it was a lot hard for me.
See that’s a good lesson for a young writer. You need to take an emotion and should make that emotion pain you from inside. Then release the thoughts and what comes out, will heal you and you will feel good. It looks like I may have to find other ways to feel good.

The Only Tear Drop.

The mind in disbelief to and fro ran,
As in the power of feelings even birds flew away,
Every beat of heart like thunder felt,
And soul with dark clouds filled.

The raised hands apart to ground fell,
Disbelief in mind joined the darkness in soul and became,
The despair that wanted to shout out loud,
The despair that wanted to cry like a newborn.

The chaos over, leaving eternal melancholy,
Oh’ in eagerness to see her eyes,
Eyes remained dry and fear in mind forgot to wake,
The spirit that drove life like an iceberg froze.

She walked like a dancer, talked like a singer,
And with her every smile a billion stars were born,
She the one who wrote the word of love in heart,
Now when standing with another man, erased it from heart.

No anger at her still came to heart,
For in the sleepless waiting for her, forgot
To be angry and learned to be kind,
But never learned to love another.

The tricky game of love life ended,
No blames, no arguments, just some dreams lost,
Time will not heal but will find other reasons to live,
But may only hold her as the reason for the loveless life.

Ah’ that thought spilled a drop of tear from eyes.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved-2013.