Home Of The LonelyPoet

It is a poem I wrote, that’s about it. I don’t know the right of this or the wrong of this. I don’t care why I wrote it as I felt really bad before I started writing it and felt bad all through the time when I wrote it and when I read it once after I wrote it, I felt as if I betrayed myself. I don’t know you be the judge.

 

A Walk From Past To Future.

The whispers of the mind so well spoke,
About the glow in her eyes I saw,
“Open the heart O’ flesh and blood, heart you open,
For in those smiles you don’t see,
A wish for a thousand kisses in secret kept,
Ah’ the glow in those eyes seek,
The touch of your love upon her lips again and again.”

Love hesitates not and all doors of my heart I once closed,
To open for her love from the depths of my heart thrived,
Then to my conscience in silence I asked,
“Don’t you remember the pain we took?
Don’t you remember the despair we felt?
Blood still stains the doors of heart closed,
In the lost battle for love when love so fairly given,
But unacknowledged and trashed unfairly,
Do we need another pain filled misadventure?”

Silence through my mind spread,
And into a chilling fear it evolved,
As closer and closer her eyes came,
Then to me as if she read my mind she spoke,
“A beauty in perfection grown,
Is a beauty felt deep inside.
Pain upon your face I see,
Doubts upon your face I see,
And an undeniable truth too, I see,
And that truth is like a full grown Lotus,
A beauty by mud and dirt perfected,
Ah’ all I feel is what past pain and doubts perfected,
The love of yours will you honor me with?”

With eyes glued to her eyes I stood,
With every bit of strength in me I tried,
To feel her soul but nothing inside I felt,
Then to her with a smile less face I spoke,
“Reader of my mind the beauty of everyman’s love,
The honor is mine to take if a wonderful liar I become,
Not from a wound the past pain comes,
And the pain and doubt are only material to my love,
As in spirit my love to another I conceded,
The moment a blessing to my life she became.”

Then not giving another eye around her I walked,
But from the depth of my heart I once more spoke,
“Past is past and present is you, future what will be,
Will you walk with me and run with me becoming,
The love of future filled with only your love?’

I walked away from her with gladness of the truth I told,
The pace gradually increased as the pain in me increased,
Then the pain from inside of me in a flash left,
Ah’ a soft hand in my right hand I felt,
A thought said to me to look behind,
To my conscience my mind said,
“Shut up for good, let us be the past,
Let her love inside of him speak from now on”.
Without looking back, holding her hand tight I walked.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved. 2012.

After the 53 lines long writing with a depressing mood I raided my fridge and started cooking. Well what came out was not that depressing. Orzo Pasta, Spinach and Carrot, some Salmon and a Tilapia. I fried the tilapia and cooked the rest and ate. I know it is not a good idea to eat with a depressing mood. But you know what.. I loved it.

 

I am bored at myself, then I saw a T.V commercial where a pretty girl says to a guy, ‘You are boring, boring, boring” I felt like all people who knows me yelling at me what that pretty girl said. Hey I am a poet, poets go through emotional hells like this every day. Still I felt, I am a boring guy. Then I tried to send some paper works to government and I cannot find some originals. Usually I shout the ‘F’ word 50 times a min when things like that happen. But this time I remembered a pretty face I hate to forget. Then I went online and chatted with a random girl and looking at her I wrote this poem trying my best for a ‘distraction’ like Dr.House does in one of his shows. In all honesty, I failed miserably.

 

A New Age Symphony.

Your smile so precious,
You charm so wonderful,
Every time you blink,
Music fills my heart.

Through every music note I hear,
The rhythm of my heart beating,
Oh’ I knew not my soul dissolved,
In the love of yours as music came.

Hold my heart in symphonies you compose,
Touch my soul with melodies unheard,
Compose a new symphony with our names,
Your tunes counterpointing the tunes of mine.

We will weave dreams none ever seen,
In the music from our hearts play,
Hold my hand and take me in flight,
Of the dreams we both forever will see. 

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved-2012.

There is a little story behind this poem. After a long drive back home then a long sleep on a dusty mattress really messed my sinus badly. With that pain I went out to buy some groceries and meds. Then I thought I will get a tea from Starbucks and walked in there. I saw this stunningly beautiful girl standing right in front of me..Honestly, my friends and family, I really looked at her, you know what I mean when I said, looked. Hehehe…. This girl is about six foot tall and every guy even walking across the street is drooling after seeing her. Some guys I believe were cursing their pretty wives too. I stood there and I can see the guy in the Starbucks is waiting for her to go to him and he is all set to make her whatever she wants. Suddenly she turned to the side to look at a set of cups sitting beside us and there she saw me. First she didn’t notice me at all. After all who is going to look at a guy who is 42 years old, bulky around the waist, short and haven’t shaven for 3 days with grey hair even popping out of my nose? She took the cup moved a bit and turned around and asked me “You a real poet?” contrary to even my own belief I took couple of steps back because this girl got the most weird Eastern European accent I’ve ever heard.

I frowned and took a look up and said “I published a book in 2006, I hope that makes me a real poet”. 

She smiled and asked “Why not write a poem about me? I will buy you coffee..”

I can see at least 4 guys around and maybe couple of lesbians too looking at me and from their looks I can tell what is in their minds “Write it lucky bastard or we are going to nail you to the cold bench outside.”

I am no easy jack ass to get and it is not easy for me to write a poem with a lot of people around. I took a deep breath and told her “I don’t write poetry for coffee, promise you will hold my hand when I write with the other hand and I will write.”  

My best guess was she is going to say no. But she told “Sure I hold your hand on my chest.”  Now I know I am in trouble, I bought my tea and she paid for it. She then took my hand and we both walked to the table where she sat right beside me and there were like six people around watching what I am about to write. I took my journal from the bag and wrote the following poem. By the time I finished, all the folks reading the poem applauded. Well that was the first time I wrote a poem in the presence of anyone else. When I walked out of that Starbucks I didn’t took a look back at that beauty because from a little kiss she gave me I know I gave her something she will remember forever and I don’t think there is anything more she can offer.

   One request she denied though, to take a picture of her and add it to the post. She is from Hungary, she will leave from O’hare tomorrow. Maybe after reaching her homeland she may change her mind and email me her picture, if so I will add it to this. I am not sure about it though.

 Here is the poem I wrote in exactly 12 minutes with a smile filled beauty holding my right hand when I wrote this poem with my left hand..

To A Smile Filled Beauty.

The fallen leaves of fall are gone,
The winds brought heavier cold,
Your face in my mind warmth filled,
So did the love of mine for you in my soul.

Through different paths of life you and I pass,
In different parts of world we live,
Yet, forever your smile I will remember,
Forever your smiles will beautify my life.

Like the golden chariots of the evening sun,
You eyes spread the charms of love,
In the light from those eyes reflects,
Filled are the new definitions of love mankind unheard,

All my passion, all my compassion for you I will give,
All my expression of happiness and love I will fill,
With prettiness upon your face I see,
And every bit of sadness in your prettiness will dissolve.

So smile Oh’ my dear in the celebration of life,
Smile to fill the world with charms of love,
Every prayer of mine makes me a better poet,
As every prayer for your love I dedicate.
 

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved-2012.

This is the poem Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe. I read this during one of my shows for some young authors who asked how to get a proper opening for a poem or short story.

 

 

The morning was awesome I just slept like a log for how many hours I don’t know. I woke up to a magic and it lasted for some time. From about 8 lines I wrote a while back I went up and down to write the new in the Magic Of Julia series.

 “Farewell flames, through mind like wild fires spread,
As every corner of my soul with her love she filled,
And into every bit of my life herself she merged,
Leaving a silhouette of true love for the world to see.

Farewell flames that in slow heat burned all my thoughts,
And in mind left the filth of depression, of love unacknowledged,
As every word of love from her as soothing rain lashed,
And filled in every vein of mine sprouting everything new.”

Then the morning spread, it is cold and I see that the birds in my backyard finished an entire tube of feed in less than 24 hours. Wow they are packing up for the winter. Two months before after some stale months I wished for a change. It was a bad idea. That’s all I can say.

Have a great day everyone.

What a let down by President Obama in the first presidential debate. I thought he is going shut down the campaign of Mitt Romney last night by nailing him down with very many wrong doings and sayings of Mitt Romney. He had this incredible opportunity to call a liar, a liar in front of the entire nations on his face. Obama just stood there with his head down when Romney kept on pouring his lies one after the other. This is what happens when you deal with conservatives they lie, again and again they lie and they even lie in the name of God. That’s what they are good at and I was least surprised by the lies Mitt Romney told.  Maybe Obama is going to get his act together in the next debate, I don’t know. But at least in the next debate Mr.President  don’t just stand there like a teenager being scolded for peeping into neighbors wife taking bath. Tell the truth on the face and take the consequences of telling the truth. The truth is the Republican congress blocked you from implementing your plan. The truth is America kept on losing jobs because of outsourcing done by people like Mitt Romney. The truth is there are millions of people in America who are suffering because of the Republican Congress. That’s A Reality.

 Now I am writing a pretty long poem, I haven’t really written anything like this in a long time though…. Here are some lines from the poem

“Gather not the memories of a time lost,
For in them the light of a loving soul resides,
Let the flames of your lost love die in frost,
May the light of morrows be your guide.”

I am working with three different models to get a grip on this poem. It is a lot of fun when working with a model girl who knows nothing about what I am doing. Honestly I miss the last model, who really even in her anger can inspire me better than these three models. That’s my truth and my reality. Well the last I heard about her, if I am thinking and interpreting things in her way of thinking through which she interpreted what I said..She is shuttling between Michigan and Illinois trying to hit on truckers. Maybe her bitchy friends are not giving her any ride. I don’t know, but when you are with fucked up friends then you will get really fucked up. That’s a general reality. Anyway I will post the poem when it is ready. You all maybe wondering why no more Magic of Julia poems.. I decided to make it a kindle book and it will be released by Christmas. That’s the plan, well my plan can change any moment. That’s another fucked up reality.

My model Julia had some issues so we were not able to communicate at all. So all works on that series is paused but not stopped. I thought I may have to abandon the whole thing but no she contacted me and informed me about her difficulty. See this is good, as keeping in touch and informing me about the issue she has. Otherwise I will be waiting forever, which I hate to the core of my life. But unfortunately there were and are people who loves doing that. I feel poor, helpless and abandoned when someone makes me wait. So I will be back on track with those poems soon.

When I was browsing through the web I met a girl called Gulnara she I believe lives in Poland. I don’t know much about her and I was trying to chat with her but her English was terrible. The event I am speaking in the poem happened and I saw the whole thing on Video..Read the poem you will know what I mean.

The Admiring Spider.

Through silence step by step the spider moved,
Looking at a beauty, who in digital magic sat amazed,
Her flowing hair she caressed, her bright hazel eyes watched,
Some words of praise, some words of insult and many meaningless love.

Step by step up the spider moved,
And wondered “Oh what a wonderful beauty”,
And in his own praise looking at the beauty he sat,
“Aaaah” the beauty screamed,
Looking at the spider up the tripod climbed,
Not knowing the admiration in the mind of the crawler.

Fear upon the face of beauty spread,
Even in fear her beauty brighter shined,
Then the beauty from view of the spider disappeared,
Oh’ what disappointment through the spider spread.

The world with good and bad filled,
Fear makes the world a more dangerous place,
And the spider seen not the beauty behind,
“Tup” it sounded and the beauty won her fight,
The dying spider took one more glance,
At the beauty who looked prettier in her victory.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved.2012.

The seasons passed and flowers left,
Many other singers to warmer pastures flown,
The color of sky by grey shade of light painted,
And the cheeks of the spreading cold the wind kissed.

One by one the leaves all around him fell,
The green ground with brown dead leaves filled,
The rain from heavens with cold breeze fell,
The setting sun everyday left one last warm kiss.

All around he flew with a song so warm,
And in that warmth the morning mist melted,
And upon the drying out weeds fell,
As through the falling leaves in the plains he flew.

What kept the nightingale warm a mystery,
Mother Nature through her wonders waited,
To learn the reasons of gladness that kept him warm,
As every bird left their nests and away all flown.

Death everywhere in a wild dance loomed,
Still way above leafless trees in early morning heard,
The song of a bird that in every mind embedded,
The image of a smiling girl with blue eyes filled,

With love new born and shared in every breath she took,
Such is the magic love in minds can bring,
No cold, heat, rain or snow can slow its spread,
As with the image of Julia through the falling leaves he flew.
 

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM. All Rights Reserved-2012.