Home Of The LonelyPoet

The confusion in the mind was not new. There is somethingelse in my mind. There are long, long poems I plan to write. I need time,space, money and above all more loneliness. Haha.. the world is too crowded forme or at least my world. This is part of a self talk. Sounds crazy isn’t it.Haha.. The only answer to the question “What is your problem” to me is“Insanity”. In another way… that is the key.

07/23/06.

Away and away, from oneself I felt,
Lying upon a pillow with little room to breathe,
The morning a long time back galloped away,
Noon knocking on all doors with all strength,
Got up I to know I am a day more older.

After getting up, barely I could walk,
As all the strength inside of me, oversleep consumed.

Oh’ tired I am, as inside and outside I felt,
The real man behind myself dragging,
Himself hard to keep up with the masquerade,
Why did you loved all who never cared?
Why did you jumped into devilish traps?
Why did you poisoned your own self,
In your race to oblivion?
All the ‘why’ questions asked he.

Oh’ didn’t I walked through paths paved,
With truth and honesty dipped in morality?
Didn’t I walked away when inappropriate I saw?
Didn’t I unleashed into actions, thoughts unselfish,
When all I loved pierced my heart deep?
Tell me where will I hide this pain unbearable?
Yourself lame and crawling, tell me should I crawl too?
Still, so near to you I always will remain,
As you the real will someday burn down this clown,
As from being a filthy unloved will gain,
The strength of love, when your soul will be loved,
Until then this masqueraded clown will carry you,
From then, the love you gain will carry you,
Into the depths of eternity.

Oh’ daytime burned out and stars up in the heavens thrown
When the inner arguments finished,
And to the night after a long time I spoke,
“Bring to me dreams in my lifetime unseen,
Take this cancer of consciousness away and bring,
The beauty called sleep, who outside my door waiting,
The door of my mind only she opens and closes, when needed”.
©RIAZAHAMMED.COM.

Uneventful weekend in every material ways. Well, when looking through the spiritual side…haha I can sing “What a wonderful weekend”. It was good. I got a grip on the control buttons. That’s it.

07/22/06.

 

A weekend morning I haven’t seen,

In many years of my life upon earth,

So many colorless dreams flying around,

Some kissed upon the eyes and colorful they became,

Many others perplexed and flown away colorless.

 

Nice I thought the day will be,

But rain from the muscles of the dark clouds poured,

Once again, River Barge became our place for lunch.

 

Oh’ what a wonderful sight to see the rain lashing,

Upon Hudson in patience grew a little more,

Ducks swimming around and to grab a mean down the dive,

And mind relaxed watching pretty faces around.

 

The weekend evening uneventful I kept,

Some scattered thoughts lingered,

Like the clouds after the afternoon rain,

Nymphomaniacs walked around with vulture eyes,

I smiled at the pitiful conditions of these sex machines,

Then for my early sleep away to my room I walked,

Knowing once more there still lives man inside me,

Who once upon a time lived in thoughts and actions, saintly.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM     

A string of poems. I did wrote… then I thought…. You all don’t deserve this… in a good way and bad way. Haha… There are people I know thinking about every bad things I do and write in here. Well to all of them I ask what did you all do when only through the good path I walked? Now I know, I deserve better. Does any of these make any sense to anyone?….mmmm may be not, that’s why I said… you all don’t deserve this… the good of it and the bad of it.

 “Yesterdays” will continue in LonelyPoet.Com.

 

07/21/06.

 

From the torment of darkness light saved,

Mind both conscious and sub-conscious,

Along with light came warmth of the summer sun,

Friday is here some happy thought in me proclaimed,

“What difference does it makes? “

The pessimist with a growl asked,

Angry young man you can’t be the optimist argued,

I left those idiots to argue in me and took a late start,

Lunch with colleagues at the River Barge,

Broken party with couple of friends,

The day hop-stepped and jumped all over me.

 

Oh’ the nighttime stormed from the back unknowing,

A long warm day collapsed and fell apart to the wrath,

Of the dark horses who all ran over the evening crushing,

Beauty that lit candles upon the western sky.

 

As upon the couch I stretched,

With eyes into the darkness of sleep drowning,

Somewhere inside the mind I can hear,

The pessimist’s celebration of his victory.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM 

 

Yesterday’s poem is named as “Eyes Of Lika”. Who is Lika? I only saw her over the internet. This is what happened. One of my internet friends in Russia introduced me to a website after I told him I am bored last week. I don’t think it is a good idea to disclose the site address to such a young crowd. It is a site where one can find pictures and videos of naked Russian girls. I told Nicholai I am not interested in those. He told me that I will be able to chat with those girls. I stayed and he was right, there are times when I can chat with some of those girls. Those girls only take off their clothes and chat with you they won’t do anything else. If one ask them even to touch themselves, one will get kicked out of the site by administrators. Some may dance, some speak through a microphone, some sing. In a way it is a virtual strip club. I am a total misfit there as I tell them “Hey keep your clothes on, chat with us”, which will drive other guys there crazy as those guys are there only to see the nakedness.

   Couple of days back I met Lika, one of the models there. She is very thin but she do have amazing eyes. I went back yesterday as through her thick accent and broken English she told she will be there yesterday. The following poem ends with what happened with Lika. During the chat I only wrote this “Hey Lika, If you held my hands why I need my eyes, As through your eyes I see heaven, As heaven lies in your eyes” She told me that she liked it and I should write more about her. This poem is written in the last two days. I elaborated on what I wrote in the chat room. Lika herself may not see this poem, even if she sees this poem I don’t think she will understand what it means as from what I know, her knowledge of English is limited.

  This post and poem may give many of you a very bad impression of me. So be it… I never claimed be a good man at all, even though at the end of the day yesterday I felt that there still remains some good in me.

 

Read.

 

07/20/06-Eyes Of Lika.

Mind grabbed some serenity from a bright morn,

And moved through a day lived in some promises unknown.

 

The drought up from heavens felt,

Upon the living, the dead and the living dead,

Oh’ why did people for more sun prayed,

When old man winter performed the dirty dance with fall.

 

As the hot day passed me by,

My thoughts, stale they are in their hunt,

For finding reasons, for the chaos in my mind I feel.

 

Oh’ stale remains a heart unloved,

And I once more succumbed to the virtual world,

Paths well paved, doors well decorated,

Oh’ what a world I walked into,

I looked at the model who welcomed,

In politeness of an enchantress,

Dreaming I am not as for my request she shown close,

Eyes unseen in my life of nearly four decades,

Took off all her clothes and smiled,

To write a poem about her she asked,

Everyone expected me to write,

About the beautiful naked body in front of me I saw,

But those serene eyes that glowed and held,

The beauty of her soul that erased,

Everything material through her spiritual charm,

And I wrote my verse with my eyes upon her eyes fixed,

“You hold me with nakedness of beauty perfect,

Five senses I have all in union,

Sings to my mind about the soul they see,

Through the nakedness of your eyes,

Not the nakedness of the body you show,

In the grip on my mind with your eyes you show,

Heaven of a kind poetically unimaginable,

As through those eyes the doors of heavens opens,

Where such a perfect soul roam flawless,

And shows the living upon this earth,

The heaven you are and the heaven in they will be”.

 

Lika read those lines and turned,

She danced, spoke and sung,

But my eyes never missed those eyes filled,

With some subdued feelings that erased,

Every bit of shyness from her mind,

Wonderful beauty she sure is,

Sexy and charming with her nakedness,

The flawless soul is what this poet saw,

And flawless remained the poet in his time with her.

 

I sat upon the couch motionless and felt,

That good old self, deep inside me,

Whom I thought died and buried away a long time back.

 

With a sigh of relief once more Lika I thanked,

And to her request, promised I to write more, before I left,

Even when the tiredness of the day and sleep gnawed,

My mind and body mercilessly,

Those eyes to my minds-eye still spoke,

The language of the heart I understand,

With a promise to write more the poet too slept.

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

This poem was not written with a lot of thought. I just tookmy pen at about 3:00PM today and started scribbling in an old notepad. Well…when I later read the poem, I smiled and said “True, very true”. Then took awalk in thoughts and said, “I will never change me, as I respect myself a lotfor who I am”. Smiled again and continued the walk.

 Read      

07/19/06.

‘Reality, Oh’ what an ugly monster’, I said,
When from the valley of a dream I woke,
The craving for life pulsed hunger all over senses,
But the bare-naked truth through my life, I learned
There are no foods I can gather,
To kill the hunger as what is needed, outside wanders,
Satisfying sense of sight and sound leaving,
The rest to crave and crave and become sterile.

The weirdness of some crime unknown I felt,
As deep from my heart I once more heard,
The song of love with a call for love and I said “No”.

The garden of love in real exists not,
All the flowers died and rotten away,
All the sweet singing birds migrated,
To other gardens for reasons, I know not.

The day with the fury of sun consumed,
Every bit of energy one saved,
Oh’ summer is a season I hate,
For the heat it brings, inside and all around.

What an evening, with all its glory came,
Great thoughts inside my mind clutched,
Poetry poured through the stubborn heart,
As fingers moved over sheets, versifying the great old art.

Oh’ the long light-filled day, with a smile parted,
And the western wind blew, with a bit of cool,
Scattered clouds with the stars played hide and seek,
Once more said I to the world of romance,
Come and get me, if you want me,
I don’t want you, if you don’t want me.

Then, alone upon the wings of a dream flown,
High above to see the beauty of a garden in a valley,
Deliberately unnamed as those flowers stand ever bloomed,
Untouched and always echoes my stubborn word of “No”.
©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

“If you want to comment on my poems please visit and post your comments in LonelyPoet.Com all the poems that are posted in this site will be there in LonelyPoet.Com“.

Hello All,
     I see lot of new comers in this site from the footprints they leave. Some even left comments in Guestbook unknowing that I made this a read only site. I appreciate everyone who visited and read my poems. Right now I am disabling the Guest Book also. This means, ‘if you want to comment on my poems please visit and post your comments  in LonelyPoet.Com all the poems that are posted in this site will be there in LonelyPoet.Com’. The quoted line will be there after every poem I post so that any new comers will know where to leave a comment for my poems.

Thanks again and have a great day.
LonelyPoet.

I don’t like Tuesdays period. Something will gowrong. Well I thought yesterday was an exception but trying different thingswas the problem. I am not detailing what I tried different. It was that bad.Well read the poem, there is one line in the poem that gives a suggestion aboutwhat I tried different and blew a pretty good day to a day of seekingforgiveness.

07/18/06.

The images, unclear they remained,
Long sighs passed, then the treasure of clarity came,
Faces by an invisible hand pulled down,
Some screamed in pain, some furious in frustration,
Some with vengeance smiled.

The ones torn down flown away in the wind,
The dark covered their nakedness but light unclothed,
Oh’ they all in the blink of eyes gone,
As brightness caressed the air with warmth so soft,
Leaving a bright smile upon my face.

Tuesday, the day of madness has arrived,
“What madness waits out there?” I asked,
With the power of self-esteem, I stormed the day,
A fall in my heart unknown,
As every bit of confidence I gathered.

Thunders and lightning, storms and rain,
Oh’ I walked to and fro to take them upon my face,
But the sun remained blazing as if in a mocking laugh,
No cloud around, no leaves moved, as warm, weather became,
Not even the known and unknown humans dared to question.
“Beat me O day if you can” the day and world I challenged,
Nothing came and the sun too out of sight rolled,
With a victory smile before my laptop I sat,
Chatting with a naked beauty in the Siberian north,
She cursed herself saying “Many, many mistakes I did”
Then I said “Aren’t we all a mistake by God?”,
For a moment I froze and the chat room I left,
As I know the fall and madness from within me came.

Rest of the evening with a heavy heart I spent,
Every breath spent in the plea for forgiveness,
As I know God never made any mistake,
And all I have and all I don’t are all blessings,
I never understood but with protests lived.

Night spread its dark rugs and even owls slept,
I kept myself awake as my reciting of pleas,
For forgiveness of my mischief increased,
Even when my breath grew longer I remembered saying,
“Forgive me Oh’ God, forgive me, for all my mischief”.
©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Yesterday was a day that never had any downs in it. I justwalked into the day with nothing in my mind. And everything looked good at theend of the day. Well… Read the poem and it will speak more about a Monday. Theyare usually very normal or in another way a nothing special day.

07/17/06.

I opened my eyes and more darkness I saw,
For being kind, God Almighty I thanked,
As from virtual death I once more woke up.

Wake up now, wake up now I told the morn,
The red rays of the summer sun seemed shy,
To show the bare naked sun to the eyes of a poet,
I closed my eyes for the sun to wear,
The cloak of light that can show my eyes,
The vast greenery around where I live.

The first working day of the week at snail pace went,
Program codes, meetings and conference calls,
With its on dynamism built in, the actions at work,
Everyday in everyway the combinations changed,
Like the images in a kaleidoscope.

Evening came, the sun uncloaked and into hiding went,
Early night flown away as with my friends I drove,
In the city in the tiredness of a hot day laid,
Music and talks, arguments and laughs all filled,
In our drive through the city and suburbs,
Oh’ hours went by like minutes,
Before everyone went to rest and sleep,
When alone, through the big window I looked,
Jupiter in all his glory seemed smiling,
What an existence far, far away with no life, I thought,
But sure for the balance of others he rolls on strong,
I pressed my head upon the pillow hard,
As far, far away I felt,
Anyone who can understand me,
And in a way an illusion is it all,
As none really ever existed to understand me at all.

All life in a search I drowned,
Some faces and gestures I loved but all vaporized away,
Some still in the mind as broken dreams linger,
Some just to break heart a little more stays on,
Why did I searched and why should I search,
Conscience asked with a voice deep and tired,
And not to search anymore I decided,
In my way to sleep after a warm and bright day.
©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Sunday came and went… I know I am closing all doors in and out. Trapping oneself is not a good idea always. But there are times it is better to trap inside a box. I am trapping myself inside my own Poetrybox.

 

07/16/06.

One night with one dream filled,

Upon on the center table from the couch I rolled,

With the sounds of things falling down I woke,

“Good Timing” said I after the falling laptop I saved.

 

The dream from my mind by itself erased,

As the day bit by bit in front of me cleared,

A day meant for many wonderful souls,

Not a day for a soul like mine, with all wrong filled.

 

Joked around through the afternoon,

But the spiritual mind in all calm stayed,

As deep inside the spiritual self I know,

I am a clown who failed to make others laugh.

 

Sunday boredom through the evening came,

The summer sun dance in the blazing heat I enjoy not,

As sweat wet my uneven cut hair.

Internet chats and phone calls, Oh’ they never stop,

The chatters changed one after the other,

Everyone talked about the heat wave that wrapped around,

Though none about the heat in the soul cared,

I looked around and thought,

Days of storms, Oh’ where are they?

 

Even nights don’t cool the flesh,

That wrap around the soul that felt a thirst,

When closing my eyes for sleep I prayed,

Oh’ No more dreams that makes my life unrealistic.

 

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Pirates Of The Caribbean’s haha that was the event of the day on Saturday. Well I was thinking of going for this movie last week but busy schedules and my laziness kinda kept me away from almost everything. Well… Saturday I saw this bizarre and violent dream about Pirates attacking a ship and looting them. Then I thought I must see this movie at any cost today. I went with my buddy Mike. The starting filled us both read the poem you will know.

  

07/15/06.

The silver linings upon the curtains glittered,

As sun rays fought hard to sneak,

Some sure sneaked in and upon my face danced.

 

When was the last time a weekend morn I have seen, I forgot,

The mid-noon sun fired his rays warming all to upper nineties,

Turned around and to sleep more I tried,

Bending and squeezing my legs together under the comforter.

 

The ship masts were high and sail held on strong,

Skull and bones upon the moth eaten black rug,

Still seen from miles far,

Cutlass at each other crashed dripping blood,

Faces red, mixed with anger and fear,

Cannons and pistols fired filling air with smoke,

Oh’ pirates became killing machines to plunder,

To save the treasures for some monarch extravagant,

The so called men of good fought, died,

And perished into the ocean’s depths,

The pirates howled in celebration,

Intoxicated by the fury of killing and well-aged rum.

 

From the scattered ruins floating,

Far away, the view moved slowly,

Deep and spread far, the ocean laid in calm,

Reflecting light away as if a billion diamonds spread,

Upon blue velvet in the northern wind moved.

 

The reality woke me up as sun pierced,

And burned my bare neck and warmed my hair,

Oh’ what a deadly battle dream I have seen,

Pain and death celebrated by the mockery of wealth,

Even these days’ legends of pirates tell,

How they lived, killed and died.

 

The newspaper shown a face of a pirate,

And me and my friend to see that movie of pirates went,

‘Pirates Of The Caribbean’s’ I loved the action and fun,

Johnny Depp Oh’ what an eccentric pirated he can be,

Bloom bloomed inside every young girl’s heart.

 

Late evening as usual I spent,

Scribbling verse about love in real I feel,

When the sleepy eyes drooped,

And pen from my hand dropped,

My mind became a screen and showed,

The best scene from the movie earlier I’ve seen,

The starting, from the bosom of Kyra Knightly,

Imprinting in my mind pixel by pixel that beauty,

In wonder and admiration, I always will remember.

 

©RIAZAHAMMED.COM