Home Of The LonelyPoet

What amazing couple of weeks passed, for some other people,not for me. Every thing became stale or frozen nothing really happened. Ithought of going to Milwaukeeagain as my brother and his family is visiting that place. But the onlyremaining friend of mine in Milwaukeeis out of town. So I am home alone now. Listening to music, browsing the web,hope I will reach somewhere with this.

This poem, I wrote nearly 12 pages of it I don’t know Ikept on writing it then I read it back and brought it to this long, even now Idon’t know what it sense it may make to many people. Still I thought this makessense to me and may make sense to some. This is an emotion drain for me.

Have a nice time everyone. And stay cool.

UnhealedWounds.

Blessed are those who are loved,
The warmth of the care they feel,
When throughlife’s rough streams rowed,
In the glory of emotions healed.

He gave her his soul,
He gave her the warmth and care,
He loved her beauty and all her flaws,
But lost it all in her ambitions unfair.

Traveled through paths not really known,
Held her in mind even when loveless she smiled,
Dreams shattered when passions went unborn,
But still hatred for her never touched his mind so mild.

When love in his mind so precious grown,
Her mind in the depths of doubts and jealousy swam,
Left him to the pain of waiting all alone,
And his heart thrived for a feeling warm.

For the love of sweetest kind he moved,
From heart to heart with love and hopes,
But none could break the loveless fate which proved,
The cruelty of circumstances that bound him in ropes.

Ropes of obligations and everyday chaos,
Oh’ none seen a soul in wishes of being loved,
Failure after failure left life a journey without a cause,
And all the souls he loved left him unloved.

When hopes every time in his hands shattered,
And pain pierced through heart again and again,
Oh, life, loveless all around scattered,
And every dream ever weaved through every vein drained.

Oh’ bloodless veins and dreamless soul squeezed,
Then from the depths of all negative events found power,
To survive and then in the taking of every bit of pain breezed,
Through every corner of life that covered,
All paths of life with misfortunes that seized,
But good he defined in every bad that uncovered,
Ugliness in the pretty faces who all unleashed,
In their pursuit for material pleasures, hatred.

Still somewhere in the depths of mind a face remainedbright,
Though no meanings in life it played,
The mind of a lost lover lost all sight,
And illusions of the emotions of love betrayed,
And he gathered all the shattered hopes and prepared to fight,
Mindless battles of love and passions unafraid,

Tear less eyes, and dreamless heart awaits,
For that face in mind from illusions to become real,
And a new dream to sprout in a deserted mind that never hates,
But the left over wounds in the power of love he trusts to heal.

©RIAZAHAMMED.,COM

Flyleaf – I am So Sick

Irecently saw a program about animals in the Kalahari desert. One ofthem was a Bull Frog. After the rainy season the frog covers himselfwith mud and goes down the earth and stays down there until the nextrainy season. It reminded me of an act which I do. When everythinggoes negative in life I shut myself out and sit in a corner doingnothing. This is that kinda period. It just makes no sense to attemptanything as I know everything will end in failure. I am not afraid tofail, but it makes me sad when I see people who cares about mefeeling bad and sad when I fail.

Now here is a poem… Read and enjoy.

DeathOf A Material Man.

Where are all the dreamers gone?
Were they really torn apart?
By the harsh realities that stoned,
From all corners of life.

Deep into the mocking alleys walked,
When the loser to the darker side oflife moved,
Graffiti from the walls laughed,
Completed was the mockery of livingthis shady life.

Oh’ how wonderful it all looked,
The smiling faces and colorful eyes,
Truth in those eyes filled and everymind were hooked,
Oh’ how much the world learned to fakeemotions and passions.

Anger in frustration boiled from themind,
With rolled fists he walked throughfilth and dark,
Nothing can stop him in his passionlessoffense that binds,
His heart to shadows that never had anyreal figures.

That which in real never existed,
Only in the rolls of smoke born,
And in the intoxication he found thoseshadows dance,
And every moment more and more lifetorn.

Hated he the light to his path came,
Never looked at any eyes as emotions hedivorced,
A player of screaming illusions hebecame,
As into the darkest paths of life hehimself forced.

With imaginary pride he held his headhigh,
Even when wine, women and drugs failed,
To satisfy his want for more pleasure.he cried,
No tears, no emotions he felt as themurder of emotions he hailed.

Then one night another like him intohis heart fired,
For his own pleasure of blood anddeath,
No screams, no tears, no pain, assilence filled the air,
But when closing his one last timeaccepting death,
From far far away he saw a lightconquering his soul,
Which he never thought ever existed.

© RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Summeris scorching on me now. What a heat. Come on this is like India. Hotand humid now. I hated heat when I was young, now I hate it more. Well I did not do much after coming from Milwaukee. A serious setback happened when trying to get a job contract. That is really bad.Well living with the bad and celebrating the good of life is whatmakes life and interesting thing. The US immigration departmentstopped all green card processing which they made current and askedus all to file for the final stage of processing. I want to get thiscrap over with and move on with my life. Really fed up with it all.Well there are hundreds of thousands of people out there facing thesame situation. Nothing more I can say. Looks like everything iswrong in every front. What did I do when I heard about it. Went for aparty danced a lot hehehe. That’s what it is all about. Then at theend of the night I said… Life cannot control me and I will neversuccumb to the events of fate. I am a believer in fate as I learnedin the last 25 years that I got nothing to do with many thingshappened and happening. It never made me sad. The only thing thatmakes me a bit sad is what is written down as a poet.

Read.

LovelessDestiny

A hundred nights I spent in deepestsleep,
A hundred days I spent in deepest thoughts,
Along camenone in my mind can keep,
Only shadows of myself and othersfought.

Regretful words at me they all spoke,
When denyinglove to and my love for them,
One after the other left my lifemocked,
And with forgiveness I moved away from all of them.

Nomore faces in my mind I see,
No dreams haunt me as sleepless Iremained,
Don’t know what in my mind I feel
But wrath of nonethis soul ever gained.

After decades of searchrelentless,
From the depths of dusty past a lesson I took,
Andengraved in my mind to remind me to be loveless,
As the eyes oflove into my fate never looked.

I smile lot in days andsmile-less in nights I sit,
Watching days and nights in passionpass away,
But still into the depths of my soul echoes hit,
Andhearing the cries of a loveless past sway,
My mind and everycorner of my being,
And once more it all leaves in mind abelief,
That my mind or actions or anything I heard orseen,
Oh’ none of them  controls, the loveless destiny of mine.

© RIAZAHAMMED.COM

Hey I promised more pictures fromMilwaukee, I uploaded it all into an online Album. Visit my onlineAlbum LonelyPoet’sAlbum

Back from home, sounds weird isn’t it? Yes, I left Milwaukee once more. But the good days I spent, yeah, truly enjoyed every bit of it.
   Now about poetry, mmm what to say, I write more in my mind and forget than write on paper and later post in here. There are people who don’t write when they are happy and they forget themselves in their happiness, there are people who write when they are sad or depressed. Then there are people who enjoy the happiness and sadness of others as they themselves don’t know how to live life with both of those feelings. As for me, I recently thought… Am I really human? mmmm there is amble reasons for me to think like that. Maybe I will write more about it on paper and see how much of a real human I am.

Nitin, Manish, Me in front, Deepak and Rao… wow…we are group of Indians who come to Milwaukee Summerfest every year. Manish is quite new he is married, Rao too is married, Nitin will be married shortly, Me and Deepak… haha Well at least another couple of years we will be around playing the singles game.
   I am uploading a lot of pictures into Flickr… it is rather slow.. well I took nearly 600 photos. Not all of them came out good as most of it were taken during concerts. Once I finish my selection and upload I will post the link here. Alright… have a good evening everyone.

Off to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I don’t miss Summerfest my close friends are joining me there. I will keep posting from there. Looks like I will be there all the days this year.

Enjoy the summer warmth everyone.

Nusrat was born in Faisalabad, Punjab on October 13, 1948 to Ustad Fateh Ali Khan, a distinguished musicologist, vocalist, instrumentalist, and Qawwali performer. He had one brother, Farrukh Fateh Ali Khan.Initially, his father did not want him to follow him into the familybusiness. He had his heart set on Nusrat choosing a more respectablecareer path and becoming a doctor, because he felt Qawwals had lowsocial status. However, Nusrat showed such an aptitude for, andinterest in, Qawwali that his father finally relented and started totrain him in the art of Qawwali and he was also taught to sing withinthe classical framework of Khayal.This training was still incomplete when Ustad Fateh Ali Khan died in1964 while Nusrat was still in school, and the training was continuedby Nusrat’s paternal uncle, Ustad Mubarak Ali Khan.Ten days after his father’s death, Nusrat had a dream where his fathercame to him and told him to sing, touching his throat. Nusrat woke upsinging, and was moved by the dream to decide that he would makeQawwali his career. His first public performance was at his father’sfuneral ceremony forty days later. Under the guidance of Ustad MubarakAli Khan, he became the group’s leader in 1965 and the group was calledNusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Mujahid Mubarak Ali Khan & Party. (“Party” is the term used in Qawwali for the supporting members of the group.)

Nusrat’s first public performance as leader of the family Qawwaligroup was in March 1965, at a studio recording broadcast as part of anannual music festival called Jashn-e-Baharan organized by RadioPakistan. It took Nusrat several years more to perfect his craft andemerge from the shadow of the groups that were regarded as the leadingcontemporary Qawwals. But once he did, there was no looking back. Hefirmly established himself as the leading qawwal of the 20th century.His incredible voice and his complete mastery of the genre made him asuperstar in the Indian subcontinent and the Islamic world. He sang in Urdu and his native Punjabi, as well as Persian. He was also one of the first South Asian singers to perform before large Western audiences.

Nusrat took over his family’s qawwali party in 1971 after the deathof his father and his uncle. In Pakistan, his first major hit was thesong “Haq Ali Ali”. This was performed in a traditional style and withtraditional instrumentation, and featured only sparse use of Nusrat’sinnovative sargam improvisations. Nevertheless the song became a major hit, as many listeners were attracted to the timbre and other qualities of Nusrat’s voice.

He reached out to Western audiences with a couple of fusion records produced by Canadian guitarist Michael Brook. In 1995, he collaborated with Eddie Vedder on the soundtrack to Dead Man Walking. His contribution to that and several other soundtracks and albums (including The Last Temptation of Christ and Natural Born Killers), as well as his friendship with Peter Gabriel, helped to increase his popularity in Europe and the United States. Peter Gabriel’s Real Worldlabel released five albums of Nusrat’s traditional Qawwali performancesin the West. Real World also released albums of his experimental work,including Mustt Mustt (which features a slap bass technique) and Star Rise. He also performed traditional Qawwali live to Western audiences at several WOMAD world music festivals.

Nusrat provided vocals for The Prayer Cycle put together by Jonathan Elias, but died before the vocals could be completed. Alanis Morissette was brought in to sing with his unfinished vocals.

Apparently, when Nusrat toured in foreign countries, he would watchtelevision commercials in order to identify the melodies and chord progressions popular in that country. He would then try to choose similar sounding songs from his repertoire for his performances.

Nusrat contributed songs to, and performed in, several Pakistanimovies. Shortly before his death, he also recorded two songs for a Bollywood movie, Aur Pyaar Ho Gaya, in which he also appeared.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan holds the world record for the largest recorded output by a Qawwali artist—a total of 125 albums.

Nusrat was taken ill with kidney and liver failure on Monday, August 11, 1997 in London, England while on the way to Los Angeles from Lahore to receive a kidney transplant. He was due to perform in a live concert later in August. While still at Cromwell Hospital, Nusrat died of a sudden cardiac arrest on Saturday, August 16, 1997, aged 48. His body was then transported back to Faisalabad, Pakistan where thousands of distraught people attended his funeral and burial procession.

(Text from Wiki)

Here are three videos of his music. Enjoy

Springtime was much more brutal than I thought. A contract canceled and megetting all sorts of issues from health to wealth. I have gonethrough these kinda times before so I am quite used to this. Oneearly morning I was standing outside having a smoke and I felt “Comeon this can’t happen again” then really felt sad and look up in thesky and told. “It is better that you created me not, than leavingme as a loser” I went back to bed without much thoughts and slept.I woke up with the news, the Green Card process which I thought willtake more than 2 and half years have become current, I went back thesame spot where I stood and spoke the words of desperation and saidwith a smile “Sorry I should not have despaired, I never will bedepressed again for what you did not gave and thank you very much”.Later that day I wrote something off my mind.

Hereis what it is.

TheGreatest Lover.

Sing again sing again oh wonderfulbird,
Sing in the tune of my heart where Ihold,
The deepest thoughts about loveacquired,
Where the memories of a sweet heart Icherish.

The trees you rest, Oh’ do they sing toyou back,
The wind that wobbles you in yourflight, did she sing too,
If so give them the tune in the rhythmof my heart,
Sing to them the tune you hear from myheart.

A tune in memories I adore,
A tune composed in the giggles of her,
A tune in the counter point of thelovely notes she whistled,
A tune that gathered me from ascattered lot,
And gave meanings to everything inpast, present,
And in future may come.

Fly as far away for your daily life,
I still will feed you in my gratitude,
Oh’ but when the light turn golden,
Sing to me again that lovely song,
As love I felt from her, in my mindwrote,
Words of love dipped in the twilightsof her day,
Leaving me to hear you, with justmemories,
Of a handful days that passed in whichshe wrote,
“The silhouette of yours in my soul Ialways will keep,
Even when dark days fill in my life Isure will not weep,
As with your love in the little time wespent you shown,
The worth of a lifetime, and gavehappiness of lifetimes,
And bright indeed will be my soul as itspreads,
My love for you in here and toeternity.”

It is her you feel O bird in the tuneyou hear,
So sing again in celebration of thehappiness she left,
As one of the greatest lover humanityever known.

(C) RIAZAHAMMED.COM

This is the video of a hindi song. This situation of this song is really sad. From the movie Muqaddar Ka Sikander which came out in the early 80s . The situation of this song is, the actor (Amitab Bachen) when he was young was  a servant at the house of wealthy girl. They reall liked each other, but her wealthy father kicks him out of house on her birthday and he couldn’t give her the gift he bought for her as he was not allowed inside the house. On her birthday she sings a song.. “Oh’ my dear friend, without you, there is no life” As a young kid with his younger sister he ends up in the streets of Bombay. From the footpath he becomes a very rich man in Bombay. The wealthy man loses his wealth and dies and his daughter(the girls whom he liked) was left with nothing. He couldn’t find her at all. This song is towards the end of the movie when in a function his friend and his friend’s girl friend ask him to sing a song. He sings the same song. “Oh my dear friend, without you there is no life” his friends girlfriend gets stunned hearing the song. She is that girl. The movie got a whole different story line for which to save another friend and save the marriage of this girl Amitab ends up fighting a villan and dies. I loved this song performed by Kishore Kumar with beautiful lyrics. I will try to translate the Hindi lyrics to English with the help of some people who knows Hindi very well. Enjoy the song

Summer is a season I hate. I love the freeze of the oldwinter lady. Summer slows me down. Well I really slowed down. You have seen thelesser number of posts. There is enough bad things happened to make medepressed and we are not much into a summer. I wish this season be over and Ican hide myself in a winter coat during my evening walks.

This poem .. Just read it .. I wrote it …. That’s all I cansay about it as it is really the reality I am facing.

ANew Summer Pastime.

 
With the break of the dark by the light started the day,
No matter how much might darkness shows,    
Like a conquering army to all corners, rays of light filled,
The falling dew blessed the dried out earth,
The singing birds distracted none,
The blooming flowers attracted more than bees,
As empty minds filled with more than the warmth,
Of the clear and bright summer morn.

The winds woke up along with the warmth,
And danced on the lush green grass,
Then climbed on squirrels and went up the trees,
And danced again holding the hands of every leaf.

But not just the might of the light that broke the dark,
Not just the dark of the night that broke in the morn,
Oh’ the dark days of sadness and loneliness fell apart,
As sparkles from those eyes conquered his heart.

Mornings like these passed through minds,
And souls once in depression spent, danced with the wind,
Glory of an emotion in vows celebrated,
And dreams weaved in the darkest days of past,
In the light of love fulfilled as lovers stood hand in hand.

Oh’ this is not just another summer dance,
Fallen and forgotten along with season of fall,
It is the vow of mutual care and love celebrated,
Oh’ watching love indeed is the pleasure of summer fun.
And live in memories blank of a feeling unheard,
And vows untold.